I got super bored soooo I decided to write this......There is more...





A young man sits in his office working overtime again. He throws his pen down in frustration while leaning back in his chair. His dog looks up at him oddly.

The man stands up and begins to talk to the dog. "Paco I swear we are never getting out of here tonight."

Paco walks over to him and licks his hand. The man squats down and rubs the dog head. Paco wags his tail then licks his face. "Ok ok calm down boy." Paco then gets a boner and tries to climb onto him. "Ok NO Paco! God we should have gotten you fixed years ago."

The man hears a noise in the lobby area. He looks out his door. "Hello?" Paco begins to growl as the man starts slowly walking towards the noise. Paco tries to bit onto his jeans to pull him away. The man just smacks Paco. "Paco give it a rest!"

The man walks up and sees a portal. "What the hell?" He reaches out and touches the portal slowly. It instantly yanks him in. Paco jumps through the portal also. The portal then disappears.

When the man awakens he is in a forest laying on the ground as Paco runs over and licks his face. "Where the hell are we Paco?" Paco turns his head and grunts.

The man begins to wander around the forest. "HELLO?!?! IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?"

He sits down on a rock. He feels a chill hit him then begins to rub his arms. "Well buddy we should probably attempt a fire....thank god for this lighter otherwise we would be fucked."

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Night time hits as the man and Paco are curled up by the fire. The man hears some horses nearby. "Why on earth are there horses in the forest?"

The horses began to get closer and closer. Paco begins to growl again. Soon enough the horses come out of the bushes with giant bears riding on top of them. There was three of them as they surrounded him and Paco. Paco begins to bark.

"Shut that bloody thing up!" one of the bears yells.

The man eyes widen just from the sight of seeing bears ride horses but talk none the less. The bears were dressed as some kind of warriors. One of the bears jumped off his horse. As Paco runs towards him the bear simply kicks him. Paco slams straight into a tree and yelps. The man runs over to Paco to help him but the bear grabs him. He yanks him up in the air.

"What on earth are you?" The bear asks.

"I'm human?"

"What on god earth is a human?" the bears sniffs him. "You smell of fear and urine."

The man looks down only to see he has pissed his pants. "Please let me go!"

The bear tosses him to the ground. The man begins to crawl away. The bear signals to the others.

"Grab him and take him with us back to camp. The general will probably want to see this."

One of the bears grabs the crying man. He puts a chained leash on him. "Let go you monster!" the man struggles and pushes back on the bear. The back punches him in the face which knocks him out cold.

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The man wakes up with his hands tied to the ceiling as he hangs there. A massive panda walks in. "Ah you are awake....good." the panda says while sitting down.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?"

"There is no need to scream creature. It will only upset the troops outside. They already want you dead. To them you are some kind of demon."

The panda stands up. "I am Lieutienant Perry." He reaches out his paw to shake the man hand only to realize it is chained up. He reaches his paw up and shakes it awkwardly. The man gawks in silence.

"Has nobody ever taught you manners boy? When somebody introduces themselves it is polite to introduce yourself back."

"My name is Jango....."

"Ah! Very nice to meet you Jango. The men told me you say you are a human? Never heard of one of those before."

"Where am I? How did I get here?"

"You are at one of our military camps. See that god damn croc Zersch and his barbarians stole our Queen Cocoa. We are on our way to capture her back when our scouts found you. Odd timing I suppose.....as for how you got here I was hoping you could explain that. Otherwise my dear friend Patrick will have to torture it out of you."

A black bear walks into the tent. He lays out his torturing supplies. "Lets get this started shall we?!?" Patrick mumbles.

"WAIT NO! I don't know how I got here. There was this massive blue bubble that popped up in my office. It must have been some kind of portal or something. Me and Paco went through it then I ended up here. Honest to god!"

"What the hell is a Paco?" Patrick grunts while sharpening his knifes.

"It is my dog or pet or whatever. He came through with me. Where is he?"

"That thing was your pet? We all thought he was some kind of snack. We ate him right as we got back to camp." Patrick chuckles.

Jango notices Patrick was the bear that punched him in the face. He shakes in order to get out of his chains but it is no use.

"If it makes you feel any better he tasted fantastic."

Patrick walks up slowly with his knife and gentely presses it against Jango cheek. "Now once again monster....tell us who you are?"

"I told you! I am Jango from accounting!" Jango begins crying out and attempting to squirm away.

"That is enough Patrick." Perry puts his paw on Patrick shoulder. "We need to wait."

Patrick grunts then snarls at Jango. "Tell me when you need me then!" Patrick storms out of the tent.

"Sorry about that Jango but black bears in our clan tend to be a little more aggressive then the rest of us."

A grizzly bear storms in the tent. He was wearing an eye patch and let out a roar.

"I am General Vernon! WHO ARE YOU!"

Jango let out a sigh. ".....I am Jango from accounting..."

Perry leans over to Vernon. "I believe the gods must have sent him here. We should take him with us. He could be luck sir."

"YAW YAW YAW. The gods do favor the bears out of all the clans. SIR JANGO CONSIDER YOURSELF A BASTARD BEAR NOW!

Vernon yanks out his sword and cuts the chains. Jango falls to the ground. Vernon points his sword at Jango head. "However if you try to run we will rip you to shreds and rape you!"

"....In that order or?"

Vernon kicks Jango. "DO NOT QUESTION THE ALL MIGHTY GENERAL!"

"Should we take him to the kings castle?" Perry asks.

"Yes I am sure the king would love to see this creature. Also maybe along the way we can trade him for some food and whores."

Vernon then pulls out an animal limp and tosses it on the ground. "Eat sir Jango. That is of your snack that you brought with you."

Jango begins crying. "That was my dog!"

"Yes well....it was very yummy and pleased your new general. Congrats boy you are already on the fast track of becoming one of my favorites." Vernon said while slapping Jango on the back.

As they begin to travel North. Jango is once again chained on a leash by Patrick. As the rest walk on horses he has to walk on foot.

"Can I ask where are we going?"

"We are heading North to the Lion King. His castle and kingdom controls the majority of the rest. We need his help in order to get back our Queen Cocoa." Vernon explains.

"....Is his name Simba by any chance?"

Patrick yanks his chain. "What kind of stupid question is that. He is King Paulus!"

"Ok ok.....so King Paulus and the lions control the North and what do you guys control?"

"Our kingdom is in the east. The apes rule the West and the south...well the south is just a mess of confusion. However those damn barbarians are there." Perry explains.

"Apes? Like planet of the apes? Well I guess we are not in Kansas anymore."

Patrick yanks out his whip and whips Jango. "STOP YOUR JIBBERISH!"

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In the south down in the swamplands. The red panda Queen Cocoa is in a cage above the swamps in a treehouse. She lays there curled up. Zersch comes in and throws food at her.

"Hello there my lady." he says with a grin.

"Zersch you may as well let me go. My people will come for me...."

"Will they now? You know what is funny. We asked for some ransom then we would have just handed you over. However it turns out your people are very very stubborn people and they declined it. They could have solved this with weapons and money yet they declined. I doubt they will come for you."

"Then why keep me alive. Get on with it and kill me already."

"You are a huge bargaining chip. Killing you would be....well just plain stupid. I know your kingdom will fall to pieces without their queen around. That is exactly what my master needs. You see your queen a war is coming soon. My people will rule the south one way or another. Once we have taken the west and rule the south I will then slit your throat and eat you."

Zersch drinks some pigs blood and licks his lips. "Have a drink it is on the house." He pours the rest on Cocoa head.

Zersch gets up and walks away but turns around and says "If you stupid bears do come down here it will be the worst mistake they ever made."

"You are just barbarians you could never defeat General Vernon and his army." Cocoa pouts.

"My dear who says it is just us?" Zersch grins then leaves.

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The bear army finally reaches the kingdom. As Jango is astonished by the size of the castle. He sees all many sorts of animals as they walk into the castle. There are birds, wolves, foxes, little pigs all over. He sees solider Panthers and Cheetahs guarding the doors.

"......wow." he says in amazement. However the moment the people see him they look scared and hide their children or their jaws just drop.

One of the main guardsmen that is a Cheetah walks over to Vernon. He pulls out his sword and stops the bears in their tracks. Perry looks up all around the top of the castle to see some tiger archers aiming their arrows at them.

"What evil creature have you brought into our castle?"

"He is something called a Jango....we brought him here to see the king."

"That thing will go nowhere near our king. He could have some kind of diseases."

"I assure you we have had this creature for atleast 3 days now and besides his odd smell he is fine!"

"Put that thing in the dungeon! If the king would like to see it he can...."

Two panthers walk up and take the leash from Patrick. They yank Jango away.

The cheetah looks back and Vernon. "What are you doing here Vernon?"

"Good to see you again too Boc. I need to speak with Paulus we need his help."

"Yes I heard of your queen....come inside. Your men can stay at the taverns."

Vernon looks back at his men and nods for them to go off. He looks up to see the archers are no longer aiming at them. He walks off with Boc into the castle.

Perry and Patrick stand there and tie up their horses. "So did you want to go get shitfaced then?" Patrick asks.

"Sure it has been an odd week I could use a good drink."

They walk into one of the taverns and go straight for the whores and drinks.