Nobert lived quite the life. He was a freelancing hacker who got paid to do whatever hacking jobs he could find. Due to shit economy no one cared to hire the hacker and he would be bored most of his days playing mafia.

One evening he got stuck in the game and had to quickly claim. You see, the game of Mafia was very tricky and to be a good liar, you had to have a great claim. Nobert decided to claim himself, the greatest hacker on earth. So he did.

Later that day he was being asked to claim his description, but due to laughing he decided to pop on the movie he had to learn about. He told everyone to "brb" on his computer so he could run to the nearest video store to grab the movie quarantine. By the time he came back he realized no one was buying his claim, so he decided to hack the PC whilst watching the movie.

Clearly amused and proud of his claim he went to work hacking away at the game. He clearly didn't like the fact that people made fun of his name. Nobert was a good name and if they didn't respect that, they were gonna all die.

While venting, he furiously went about hacking the game. Due to lack of concentration he messed up and something bizarre happened. The TV began to glow white and to Nobert's horror, he vanished into the TV.


Minutes, hours or even days later...Nobert could not tell, he realized he was on the set of a strange movie.....

TO BE CONTINUED IN...

Spoiler	+

Perfect.

"How did I get here?" Nobert asked.

He found himself laying on the ground of a dark, eerie apartment complex. He placed his palms to the wooden floor and lifted himself to his feet. As he did, he noticed the world around him was...different.

The walls of the apartment building were nothing but colored bars and black and white static. Slowly, the static faded and the walls came into full view, peeling wallpaper and all.

Nobert rubbed his eyes. One minute he was feverishly attempting to lie his way to victory in a forum game, the next he had been transported to this...place.

"ON THE GROUND! NOW!"

Nobert hardly had time to react. Two men in hazmat suits threw him to the ground violently.

"Where am I? How did I get here??" Nobert asked anxiously. He had never left his apartment building in Canada before. This was his first time in years physically interacting with another person, and there were TWO of them! This was too much for poor Nobert to handle.

"ARE YOU INFECTED?", the man screamed while pointing his weapon directly at Nobert.

"I'm a virgin!" Nobert pleaded with his hands raised.

The two men laughed despite the stressful, life and death situation they were in. "This kids an idiot." one said.

Suddenly, a bloodied, crazed man tackled one of the two soldiers and took him over the stairwell railing with him. The two plummeted fast below, and hit the ground with a thud. The other soldier placed his hands on the railing and looked down at his partner below, but it was too late.

Nobert had no idea what was going on. He used this distraction to rise to his feet and creep away as quickly as he could. He moved into the nearest doorway and closed it behind him. Without notice, a hand reached out. Nobert jumped, shrieked and let out a little bit of pee.

"Relax, relax! Keep it down. We're the good guys." a friendly man said.

"My name's Jake, this is Kathy and Angela." the firefighter said, gesturing to the two women behind him. "What's your name?"

"Me?" Nobert froze up. Again, he hadn't interacted with others in years. "My name's Nobert"

"..."

"Problem?" asked Nobert.

"That is the dumbest lie I've ever heard." replied Kathy. "How did you expect to get away with this. Who the hell names their son Nobert?"

The three opened the apartment door where Nobert had come from and quickly shoved him out into the hallway to succumb to his fate.

"Good luck...'Nobert' " Angela said, laughing her head off and slamming the door.

The sound of the door slamming alerted the surviving CDC agent from earlier. The agent turned to face Nobert, but something was different. His eyes were glazed over and his neck was spewing blood.

"Um..hi" Nobert said with an awkward wave.

"ARGHHHh!" the infected man screamed, pouncing on poor Nobert.

"Ohh men oh men. No no no!" Nobert yelled, trying to fight the man off of him.

Just before the infected creature could dig his teeth into Nobert's exposed neck, the world began to change again. The walls faded and turned to static. The sound from the infected man went mute. Nobert closed his eyes.

Then he opened them, slowly.

He expected to be back in the safety of his dirty, dingy bedroom. He sprung halfway up and looked around. The static world was still fading in, and when it did, Nobert realized this was not over yet. He wasn't back in his bedroom...


Nobert was in the Wild Wild West.

TO BE CONTINUED IN...

Spoiler	+

Where will our fearless hero wind up next?

Who's to say!

Paulus @ 3/7/2013 23:15

Where will our fearless hero wind up next?

Looks like the Wild Wild West to me!

Nobert @ 3/7/2013 22:30

Paulus @ 3/7/2013 23:15 Where will our fearless hero wind up next? Looks like the Wild Wild West to me!

Will Will Smith be there?

As the static swirled around him, Nobert realized this was going to be a

bumpy ride. Once the static settled he rubbed his eyes and looked around.

There was nothing to see but dust. Dust everywhere.

"Oh men, where am I now" Nobert looked nervously as this dust settled. By

the time it did, he saw a huge cavalry racing towards him. They blew

trumpets in the sky and fired shots with their colt revolvers.

"OH MEN COWBOYS!" Nobert said excitedly. He suddenly realized they weren't

going to stop and the look of gleam turned to horror as they continued

onwards.

Nobert jumped up and darted across the desert just in time before the

cavalry charged by into town.

"Oh men that was close!" Nobert looked around as a foul stench filled his

nostrils. He looked down to see what it was and sure enough, his shoes

were fully immersed in manure.

Frustrated, Nobert struggled to get out and when he finally did, the

bottom of his shoes were filled with manure. He reluctantly looked ahead

at the town just ahead and followed the cavalry into town leaving behind a

trail of manure.

At town he couldn't believe his eyes. It truly was the wild west. Men on

horseback, ladies dressed just to his liking. Everyone immediately looked

up at him.

"Oh men, I'm wearing futuristic clothes...."

A couple ladies shrieked at him as a few men immediately ran to him and

took him hostage.

At the sheriffs office a big muscular man walked in.

"Hello sir, what have we here?"

"My name is Nobert sir, I come from a land far far away". Nobert told a

half truth knowing he could easily claim he's from a distant country.

"Well sir my name's John Hicks and I'm an alien from the moon!" The

sheriff replied sarcastically.

"Oh men you are??"

The sheriff facepalmed and sighed.

"We have a problem here. You see you just waltzed right into our lil town

and caused a raucous. Now my deputy sheriff believes you should be

lynched. But I was kind enough to give you some sort of hope."

"Well sir anything, I will do anything to gain your people's trust."

"I know you will son. First, we're gonna have to give you a change of

clothes. This disgusting piece of shit you're wearing will not do in my

town."

"Yes sir, and then what?" Nobert asked nervously.

"Well son, tomorrow at high noon my own deputy

will................challenge YOU to a duel!"

Nobert looked bewildered. How could he challenge someone to a duel when he

never used a weapon before?

Nobert nonetheless was locked up and guards were placed by his cell as

they snickered at him.

He was given wild boar and bread for dinner which immediately had an

effect on his unsettled stomach. The night in his cell was probably the

worst nights of his life.

At high noon the next day the sun was up and the people gathered outside

the courthouse. The sheriff was standing outside as the guards brought

Nobert out. He now wore proper attire to fit the occasion.

The people immediately booed and threw stuff at him but Nobert shrugged it

off and walked solemly to his place.

The deputy rode up on horseback and asked Nobert if he had any last

wishes.

"I wish I could go home", Nobert whined.

Seeing nothing else would come off it, the sheriff called his deputy

sheriff.

The man came out from a barn across the streets. He dressed in black

boots, a cowboy hat and a cigar in his hands.

Nobert gulped as the man walked up with his colt .45. Nobert was given his

own colt, but had no idea how to load it so he stood their hoping for some

miracle.

When the sheriff read the legal jargon, Nobert began to cry.

"And I sheriff Hicks hereby declare that the deputy sheriff of the 17th

regiment challenge this man Nobert to a duel!!!

The crowd cheered their local deputy sheriff hero on

A sudden silence fell over the crowd as a tumbleweed rolled over in the

background. The sound of a train could be heard in the distance as the

people waited.....

"OH MEN OH MEN OH MEN DON'T DRAW."

"YAW YAW YAW" said the deputy as he pulled out his gun with a big grin on

his face.

Nobert covered his eyes as static suddenly surrounded him....as he closed

his eyes he heard the whooshing sound of the static taking him away. When

he opened his eyes, our cowboy hero found himself on a ship.....

TO BE CONTINUED IN........

Spoiler	+

That formatting

Dr. Fröken Drr @ 4/7/2013 1:09

That formatting

Adds to the charm :)

I can only imagine the look of gleam ol' Nobert will get on this trip!

BTW, Jeff and I are hardly coordinating. When we click on each other's spoiler tags, we're seeing where the other person has taken Nobert for the first time and we're forced to write the next chapter in that setting

I want a NOBERT shirt. anyone else?!

avatar update to promote Nobert, the series.

Each episode will provide easter eggs I'm sure you've all seen since the Wild Wild West chapter.

Nobert should appear in Citizen Kane