I notice that Probst's Malboner is still firmly in place.

If you pay attention, actually, Malcolm tries to put himself in the challenge rotation in such a way that he can claim the victory. He scored the last point for the Faves in the reward challenge, and proceeded to give a confessional talking about how great it was that he got to be the one to do it, then took the sandbag throwing for the IC. It's also worth noting that the fact that he singlehandedly blew a massive lead and cost the Favorites the win didn't come up at ALL. There wasn't a single confessional about it, and Probst made a point of completely avoiding the topic during Tribal Council.

I'm also liking Cochran a heck of a lot more this season. It seems like he's mellowed out quite a bit since last time, and now that he's actually got a bit of confidence, he's surprisingly entertaining. One of the best moments of the entire episode was him deadpanning, "I'm actually in terrible pain right now."

I do kind of hope that Phillip's crazytown alliance dies a quick and painful death. Erik, Brandon, and Brenda are three of my favorites on that tribe, and I hate the idea of Blandrea and Phillip sticking around to remind us why Retardation Island was the worst season in the history of the show. (Though, I will give Andrea props. She completely screwed her initial alliance with Francesca and Dawn. These days, any Survivor player having the ability to recognize that their alliance wasn't helping them out and actually doing something to improve that is the equivalent of a tadpole learning to talk. A Redemption Island alumni realizing that their alliance isn't helping them and actually doing something to improve that is the equivalent of a tadpole learning to pilot a spaceship while playing a flawless rendition of Beethoven's 5th Symphony.) But I can't help thinking that Brandon's insane vengeance is going to guarantee that Cochran and Dawn remain solid Phillistines, and we're going to have to put up with that garbage for the entire freakin' season.

Thoughts on the fans will come later.

Surprisingly, I would actually recommend it. The first episode was one of the stronger premieres they've had in recent seasons, and I think there will actually be quite a few characters. I can see a few story arcs through to completion already (the ill-fated "cool kids table" alliance, the Hantz ritual suicide, etc), but there's enough going on that it could well be an entertaining season.

Hmm. Well, if this would be your first ever watchthrough, I'd probably recommend starting off with a different season. Probably you'd want to watch Australia (if only because the players in Borneo were unbelievably naive, and it's so far removed from the show today that it wouldn't communicate anything useful), or potentially Amazon.

Yeah, thanks for letting that guy beat me, BTW.

I'm kinda hoping that that's the case. I still like Brandon. He's a bit of a nutbar, but the random bromance between him and Erik is absolutely amazing, and I'd love to see the two of them go the distance, before one of them inevitably gives Immunity to the other and dies as a result.

Curtis @ 21/2/2013 1:30

"Malcolm could win it right here!" Rob, how hard did you laugh when you saw that Malcolm was in the anchor position again. I think it's hilarious that Phillip got the final ring over him

Yeah, I loved that. I can just imagine how that discussion went during the challenge strategy session.

Malcolm: Guys, obviously I need to do the most important part of this challenge: throwing lightweight rings at a stick. Cochran, that means that you and those stringly bits of dental floss that you call arms are going to have to pull three people a mile through the ocean.
Cochran: But -
Malcolm: And we'll need Phillip doing that too, because screw it, those rings will probably be heavy.
Cochran: But won't I be pulling them? AND three people?
Malcolm: DARNIT, Cochran! This is a TEAM effort!

I also imagine that Probst was screaming, "MALCOLM COULD WIN IT RIGHT HERE!" after literally every single toss the guy made. His voice definitely got a bit sour when he had to announce that Phillip won it for the team.

You'd think the favorites would eventually clue in to the fact that Malcolm's victorious in physical challenges only slightly more often than Stephen Hawking, and start altering their strategy a bit.

Here's my overall thoughts on the episode, cross-pasted from FGC:

Ambivalent on Laura. I feel like she thinks she's a better strategist than she is - case in point, her incredibly obvious attempt to tell everybody that Reynold had the idol without getting any of the blame. I'd laugh really hard if he wound up idoling her out for revenge.

I think the Favorites are probably destined for a few more wins if this keeps up. Allie was a bit of a liability in challenges, but I don't see their brilliant strategy of keeping Shamar around being useful. This episode was almost a direct retread of the second episode of Micro. Fans lose a challenge, a hideous woman who clearly demonstrates why botox is a bad idea (Tracy / Sherri) decides that keeping around the useless moron that's weighing down the tribe (Chet / Shamar) is definitely the best plan, which requires completely overlooking the many many immunity challenges that will occur between now and the merge. Meanwhile the team strategist (Mikey B / Reynold) tries in vain to convince them to make a decision that should be obvious to anything with an IQ above 5, but the tribe say "Screw it! We're Team Mactors Superfans, and we know how to play this game better than anyone!" and vote off the chick that the strategist is boning (Whatserface / Allie). Lay you ten to one the retreading continues like this. My official prediction is that next week the Favorites lose, and boot the Asian fan favorite who everybody hoped would win - Brenda.

Brandon's mood swings were kind of interesting. I did love that he made Dawn cry, if only because just about everything he said to her was right. Dawn did screw Francesca over after making an alliance with her on day one, voting Francesca off first was a pretty awful thing to do, she did lie to Brandon about what she was doing, and Dawn and Cochran probably did put themselves fifth and sixth (at best) as a result. Yes, he was probably a bit meaner than he had to be about it, but the fact of the matter is, he's not really wrong.

Meanwhile, Phillip legitimately has no idea what the hell he's doing, as thoroughly evidenced by the re-emergence of the Stealth R Us alliance. Part of me really wants to believe that Phillip is smart enough to realize that naming your alliance Stealth immediately after everybody on the entire tribe has already found out who's in it and what their position is only makes sense if you're being self-effacing, but my guess is that that man thinks irony is something you do when pressing a shirt. Admittedly, it's not quite as stupid as RI, when Phillip blatantly announced exactly who was in the alliance, and what their position was in front of literally the entire remaining cast, but it's certainly close.

Once again, Malcolm manages to not do it very well, and has to be replaced. It was nice to see them do a full-team challenge so that he actually had to... y'know... DO SOMETHING this time.

I wanted to puke when he got the idol. Let's just hope Andrea's random "let's screw the alliance I just screwed my alliance for" strategy works out well.

Throwing stuff?

Curtis @ 7/3/2013 1:42

Spoiler + Lame way for Shamar to go out. Though I guess it's funny that he went out due to an injury that he received while sitting on his ass in the shelter

"Just when you thought it was safe to sit around and do nothing..."

I actually frigging loved this episode. It's actually been really hilarious for me to watch the Fans, and here's why. The Fans have almost been a perfect carbon copy of the Fans from Micronesia, to the point where you could almost make a perfect person-to-person comparison. And what makes that hilarious is that the first Fan tribe was known for being a group of people who completely self-destructed for no good reason, despite the fact that each and every single one of them should have known better. So the second Fan tribe not only are not learning from the Survivors in days of yore, but they're also managing to not learn from Survivors who who didn't learn from Survivors. It's like... Fanception. Now that they're actually attempting to think about long-term survival, we might actually see one of them go the distance, and that would be really nice.

I also lol'ed at Malcolm getting upstaged by the specialist. Getting beaten at your signature skill by a 52-year-old crazy person must be kinda embarrassing. It's also pretty interesting that this is the first time in a long time where the challenges haven't ended in puzzles every time. Funnily enough, 90% of the RI challenges featured Rob's signature skill, puzzles, and 90% of these challenge have featured Malcolm's. I'm not gonna pull a Henry and say anything about this being a conspiracy, but it's awfully suspicious.

Honestly, that preview makes me want to invent time travel just so I can see that episode sooner. I would bet you any money that the forthcoming explosion will occur for literally no reason at all.

Curtis @ 17/3/2013 1:25

Brandon telling Phillip that no one likes him and that they make fun of his nicknames was sad. Phillip was like, "It's just something we have fun with", and then Brandon interrupted him and told him that no one likes it. It was funny but I felt bad for good old Phil!

It is true, though. Nobody actually likes Phil, and Stealth R Us is one of the biggest failures in Survivor history. I'd probably tell him the same thing.

I'm still holding out hope that Erik and Brenda will suddenly wake up and realize that they were clearly on the bottom of the Favorites tribe, and their only hope of getting anywhere is to turn around and screw Malcolm and Andrea. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening.

Also, I'm more than a little bewildered by the potential Malcolm/Reynold alliance. That coupling doesn't make good strategic sense for either of them, and I feel like the amount of smug and douchey confessionals we're going to get as a result is going to make me violently ill.

I was actually pretty surprised that Matt left, if only because he was one of the people getting major airtime on the Fans, so it seemed like he'd be in for the long haul. But if nothing else, the fact that we actually knew one of the pre-jurors' names and a bit about them is a good sign that the editors have learned how to keep the episodes from being blindingly obvious, and it gives me hope for the future. Now let's just hope the same thing happens to Malcolm.

I also LOLed really hard at Corinne this episode. Not only was her purple Hitler stache amazing, but her instant love of Michael because he's gay was also pretty hilarious. I'm sure she thinks she's being amazingly politically correct about it, but if you have a working knowledge of basic critical skills, what she's actually saying is, "I'm formulating my entire opinion of this person based on nothing but their sexuality, without bothering to consider any other factors" which as far as I'm aware is actually exactly the opposite of what tolerance is. Not to mention that she refers to him as "my gay," instead of by name. Shouldn't we be judging people as individuals, not by which categories they fall into?

I also got a good laugh out of Phillip attempting to talk about the strong points of his strategy last time around. Now, this might just be me, but I feel like "be Boston Rob's bitch, and do literally nothing else" is not the kind of strategy that's worth bragging about. In fact, I don't even really think you can call it a strategy, since strategies usually involve benefitting yourself instead of someone that's obviously manipulating you and calling you a moron.

Bryce @ 28/3/2013 6:58

I'm glad Malcolm and Cochran got good airtime this week, but still no Brenda or Erik. Brenda was cute during the challenge though!

Yeah, Brenda was adorable. I do wish that she got any confessionals ever, though. It's surprising that she's getting this much of a UTR edit, given how much of a villainess/strategist she was made out to be on her first go around.

Dylan @ 28/3/2013 20:13

Sad Julia left. Though Cochran's confessional was hands down the funniest thing I've ever witnessed. Phillip for as big of an idiot he is did the smart thing but not voting out Michael. He needs Corinne for now. He might join Malcolm's jock alliance because he is really strong. I would of liked the merge at 11 or even 10 and it would of gotten rid of Michael and Corinne more than likely. But I think the merge game is going to be really good. I have no idea which way it is going to go!

Oh man, I loved Cochran this episode. First his amazing putdowns on Julia were some of the most hilariously devastating insults that I've ever seen on the show, and then his confessional about Phillip was just completely glorious. "Oh, well, of course he threw the challenge! It all makes sense now!"

I actually think that Phillip made the wrong move in voting out Michael. The fact of the matter is, just by overruling Corinne and forcing the tie, they ticked her off and made it more likely that she'd flip. Giving her a solid ally to flip with is pretty much the worst decision possible. Julia, on the other hand, would have essentially just stuck around as a pawn doing nothing useful, and Corinne wouldn't have been able to use her.

As much as I hate to say it, at this point I could easily see Malcolm taking the whole thing. He's got zero opposition at this point, and my guess is that Sherri will be the first casualty of the Favorites alliance, with probably Erik and Brenda taking the fall shortly after. Once the Favorites eventually smarten up and boot Phillip to the jury, I don't really see anybody having the smarts to take Malcolm out, with the possible exception of Andrea. Cochran might consider doing it, but I feel like he doesn't have the guts to follow through with a move like that unless he's absolutely certain he'll be safe afterwards.

Also, is anybody else getting sick of the constant mentions of Boston Rob? With the way they talk about him, you'd think that they were talking about someone who was capable of coming up with more than one strategy in four passages through the game.

Dylan @ 31/3/2013 7:02

Phillip has got this game won! The second he said he was playing like Boston Rob I knew he was going to win.

Yeah, but it'll take him two more tries.

I actually think Cochran or Andrea is going to be the one to take this thing home. Malcolm's edit doesn't smack of a win - if anything, it reminds me of Steph's downfall in Guatemala, where they steadily fed us more and more negative moments until suddenly everybody collectively went "Wait, we rooted for this bitch?" and her ultimate loss made sense. Cochran is providing the entertainment, but from the interviews I've read he is not garnering a lot of respect from the people he's voted for. At this point I'm earmarking him as an FTC also-ran, similar to Lisa last season. Phil has no shot in hell, Michael is Corinne's bitch, Eddie is Reynold's bitch, Sherri won't last ten seconds against Phillip (especially with Reynold and Eddie openly gunning for her), Reynold is way too cocky for his actual skill level and doesn't have the covert skill to keep himself afloat once the idol's gone, and Corinne has the charisma of Hitler, and Brenda and Erik are somehow getting less screentime than Boston Rob.

Andrea, on the other hand, is being shown in almost entirely positive lights. Malcolm is dismissing her as an idiot, but that's more of a "Malcolms gonna Malcolm" than anything else, and we've seen enough confessionals to know that she's definitely thinking strategically and has the capacity to do what needs to be done. I definitely could see her winning if she plays her cards right.

I could see it happening, but I also feel like the editors are definitely throwing out enough "Malcolm is an egotistical douche" moments to justify an eventual loss.

And, eh, I forget Dawn is there half the time. When your biggest move is courageously throwing Julia under the bus in order to give more power to Phillip, it's safe to say that you won't be receiving a million dollars.