This is easy. From worst to least worst:

1. Sinbad- totally taking advantage of his position of power. Doesn’t he know this gets you put on national blast and fired these days. It’s not 1950 Sinbad, you need to wake up.
2. Abigail - look, I get that you were missin your man, then come on now, you can’t go sleeping with riverboat Ron and expect Gregory to be cool with it. Conversely, Abigail could be seen as the heroine here. I mean, maybe she just likes the dick? In this story she had all the dicks.
3. John - bros before hoes you filthy animal. Enjoy your sloppy thirds you desperate fool.
4. Elizabeth - I mean seriously, what mom wants to hear about their little girl whine about having to take one dick just so she can go get the dick she wants? That’s not what moms are for. Take that shit to your friends, Abigail.
5. Gregory - the man got cheated on, and then beat up for it. You need to pick better company Gregory.

Alt-scenario:

Worst to least worst:

1. Abigail - your man just pulled out (hopefully, unless he’s an idiot) ALL the stops to get to you. Be grateful!
2. Sinbad - dads are supposed to encourage their son to have sex with everyone ispn this story.
3. Elizabeth- I mean, she’s just got some needs. No biggie.
4. Jane - good on you giving that fine man some after all he’s been through.
5. Gregory - i assume he slept with Abigail before he told her, so he pretty much won the day as the alpha male in town.

Oh, so herm already beat me to my alt ranking. Cool cool.