"The gifts..." Curtis said faintly. "..give one...the gifts.."
The spirits grabbed hold of their bags and reached down at the gifts they each had. Paco and Boc were trying and failing to fend off Vernon. The spirits had bought them time, but they wouldn't last long. Whatever was in those gifts would help one of them to defeat him, once and for all.
"COAL?!" Paco yelled as he emptied out his presents. Sure enough, a pile of coal fell onto the ground. "We've been fighting for COAL all this time? lol wut."
Curtis shrugged. "It's all I had!"
"Uhh...how are we supposed to use this to defeat Vernon, Curt! (: " Boc asked.
"JUST THROW IT AT HIM HOW SHOULD I KNOW!"
Boc and Paco tore through their gifts and spilled small amounts of coal onto the fortress floor. Vernon continued to swing his Star of David shaped battle axe through the air at the eleven spirits.
Boc was at 52 gifts. Paco was at 40.
Samm un-clenched Bryce's bicep to slide his ten presents to Paco.
Boc 52. Paco 50.
Panda stuck his tongue out at his old buddy Vernon before tossing his to Boc.
Boc 57. Paco 50.
Bryce was not happy, and he wanted everyone to know it. "I'm giving mine to Paco. Allow me to explain why.." Bryce began. "I'm pretty sure you all lied to me about voting my team. I don't care about that..."
Bryce took a deep breath. "...but Boc, you did not talk to me. I was not a leader...I don't know where you got that from. You were really distant with me. I don't know why...I didn't see sides to this adventure. I did have a side though. But...I don't know why this trek turned into something I didn't really think it was..."
"Ok" Boc replied.
Boc 75. Paco 73.
"I'M GIVING MINE ALL TO VIC, I MEAN BOC JESUS FUCKING CHRIST." Nofo screamed.
"I can't...I can't even decide. Here, just split it." said DD, giving eight to each.
Boc 83. Paco 81.
The two looked desperately at Greenday, Ari, Patrick, Vic, Dylan, and KC. Those were the six that they shared their adventure with the most, and they needed their help more now than ever. It was coming down the the wire...
As Dylan strangled Vernon with his skinny, deformed Santa hat, Vernon grew restless and threw him off. "YAW!!!!!!!! I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE GHOST FUCKERS!!!" Vernon yelled as he turned his attention back to Paco and Boc. "TIME TO DIE!!!!!!" he screamed.
Just then, Boc and Paco each picked up a small piece of coal and threw it across the fortress hall at Vernon. A piece bounced off of Vernon's forehead.
"OWW!!! AHHHHHHH!!" he yelled as he dramatically stumbled backwards. As he did, he knocked one of the many lit menorah's onto the ground. One of the eight candles fell against his king's robe and caught it. Vernon and his robe went up in flames almost instantly.
"NAWWW!!! NAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Vernon screamed as he ran in circles, completely ablaze. He knocked more and more menorah's over as the entire ice fortress began to melt.
Curtis, Boc, Paco, and the eleven spirits watched awkwardly as Vernon burned. "That was...easier than expected." replied KC as he smooshed a twinkie against the face of his GI Joe.
The room then filled with a red glow, not from the fire. It was Rudolph. The flames had melted his block completely, and he poised himself heroically in the center of the room.
"Let's get outta here!" Curtis yelled. The eleven spirits waved goodbye and vanished as Curtis, Boc, and Paco all jumped onto Rudolph's back. Rudolph was pretty big.
Vernon continued to scream as the entire ice fortress came down. The melting ice turned to water as Rudolph rushed out of the gate along with the flood. He scurried gracefully across the snow, leading the survivors to safety.
The three looked back as Rudolph continued to speed across the surface of the snowy terrain. Vernon's fortress was no more.
Paco noted the time. "We need to get back quick!" he said. "It's almost Christmas morning!"
They raced across the North Pole and eventually arrived at Santa's Village. The gates were flung open for them, and they were met with enormous praise from all the elves in the village.
Santa greeted them in front of his workshop, where the previous eight reindeer were waiting. Curtis, Boc, and Paco dismounted from Rudolph as he joined the rest of the pack.
"THANK THE FUCKING LORD!!" Santa screamed with glee. He lifted Paco and Boc into the air, squeezing both of them with a hug. "YOU CRAZY BASTARDS DID IT!"
Boc and Paco smiled, proud of their achievements. They had saved Christmas.
"There's no time to lose. I must be going immediately if I'm to make it in time!" Santa said. "Quickly, help me secure the reindeer to the front of the sleigh!"
Boc and Paco scurried over and began to fasten the nine reindeer to the harnesses as Santa moved the sleigh in place.
"Oh men guiz.." Paco began. "We did it DoctorYoda. We saved the interwebz and had an epic win--"
Suddenly, a spray of blood flashed across Boc's face. He looked ahead horrified as a sharp icicle jutted through Paco's green body suit. Paco's mouth was gaping as blood dripped from the corner of his lips. His eyed widened as the icicle was twisted and pushed through further. Paco looked at Boc one last time before falling face down into the snow.
"YAWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!" Vernon screamed as he finished throwing Paco down and stepped out from behind him. His face was badly burned and disfigured. His Jew fro had been sizzled down to nothing and was still steaming. It was a disgusting sight.
Boc looked down at Paco, his now dead friend. He turned his head upwards at Vernon with rage in his eyes.
"HANUKYAWYAW WILL REIGN SUPREME!!!!!!!!! DOWN WITH CHRISTMAS, DOWN WITH SANTA!!!" Vernon yelled out.
Boc lunged at Vernon, knocking himbackwards. "WE WERE FRIENDS ONCE!" Boc yelled as he began to strike Vernon in the face. "BUT I CAN'T STAND BY YOUR ACTIONS ANY LONGER!" He punched him again several more times across the jaw with his fin. Vernon shoved Boc off of him and tried to scurry to his feet. He was now disoriented and totally deranged as he approached Santa's sleigh.
"DOWN WITH CHRISTMAS!!!" Vernon yelled out as he lifted the red sleigh above his head.
"NOOO!!" Santa pleaded. It was too late.
Vernon slammed the wooden sleigh against Santa's Workshop, shattering the sleigh entirely.
"HAHAHAHA!!!!!! I AM CANDYLAND!! I WON THIS THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Santa dropped to his knees. "That's it..." he said. "..it's over. There's nothing else we can use to deliver these presents..."
"AHEM!" someone yelled out. "Not so fast Santa old buddy old pal!!"
It was Boc, seated on his prized bicycle that he had gotten oh so long ago. He hooked the bicycle up to the nine reindeer's reigns and got into position.
Vernon spun around. "HA!! WHAT'S THIS?! YOU WANT SOME MORE!!!!!" he screamed.
Boc began to sing out. "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!! And uh...GO RUDOLPH!!"
The reindeer sped forth, directly towards Vernon. They saw the man who had enslaved them and thirsted for revenge.
"NOO! NONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Vernon screamed, but there was nothing he could do. The nine reindeer slammed into him and trampled on top of him. Hooves smashed down against his body. Antlers pierced his flesh and sliced him up. The wheels of Boc's bicycle drove right over him.
Vernon was crushed, for the last time. His beaten body was ejected from underneath the sled and flew far into the distance.
"NAWWWWwwwwwwww..."
Tufts of flaming jew fro rained from the sky as Vernon vanished on the horizon line with a twinkle, never to be see again.
Santa's Village erupted into applause for Boc. He had done it. He defeated Jew Bear and his minions, freed the nine reindeer, and saved Christmas.
Santa and Curtis rejoined him as the elves gathered around, still cheering. "You've done it my boy!" Santa yelped out. "Now...what do you say we deliver these presents...together." he said with a wink.
Santa, Boc, and Curtis all jumped on top of Boc's bicycle which was now much larger now somehow and accommodated three people. The reindeer took off once more and lifted up into the air. The elves waved goodbye and cheered as Boc yelled out.
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!" Boc screamed over the village.
Curtis sighed with relief as the three soared through the air. He nudged Boc and began to speak. "You know.." Curtis said. "I'm really gonna miss this place...
BOC HAS WON THE GAME!!
Boc: 256
Paco: 181
