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The Mayor

The role of mayor was always more of an honorary thing than anything else in the humble town of Harrisport. It was the kind of place where issues were hashed out over a cold beer in the backyard rather than town hall. Hell, I'd be surprised if half the residents even knew it was time for the local elections when The Mayor made his first campaign. Perhaps if even one person read the pamphlet left in their creaky mailbox the whole thing could have been averted, but when the time for results came The Mayor's crooked smile had won him 14 votes and the key to the city. The Mayor had some new ideas for town and whatever checks and balances stood in his way could be solved with a quick bop bop in the night. After all, this is Harrisport where everybody knows where you live and nobody locks their doors.

It was over five months before somebody could make it out of town for help -- after all, The Mayor always keeps an eye on his constituents. By the time the feds arrived to check up on their story, only 14 inhabitants remained, all near catatonic after witnessing the massacre just unfolded. When asked where The Mayor went they all pointed in a different direction.

In the years since, reports have sprung up worldwide of a case of heads caved in. Some have pointed out these events following an election with poor turnout, though they're often dismissed as conspiracy theorists. Those who know the story of The Mayor know the truth though -- they never miss an election.

'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T VOTE IT MUST MEAN YOU WANT THE MAYOR IN CHARGE