whew! sorry for not confessing in a while. had a busy few days and not much has happened over here. after the mess i've been recently i think i need to just chill the fuck out and let what happens, happen. i have decent bonds with enough people that i think i can just let the early merge unfold without being in immediate danger, and there's literally no reason to try and do the most while on a tribe with three of my four alliance members. i'm aching to tell troy the scoop on things but that's a really big risk right now. if shit gets funky and lauren leaves on etro, i'll probably do it, because THAT would make running with the fab 5 sound simply unrealistic to me. not when miami is super tight with wendy, with an idol in her pocket, and when i don't even have a clue where hailey's head is at long term. but if the fab 5 is intact at merge, i think i need to stick with them, at least for a couple rounds. i still want to work with maxwell but i can't let myself throw away my game just because i feel personally close with him. we can be friends after the game. now, if i have to jump ship, i will happily and readily work with maxwell! but i need to get SMART. fml.

this image is me right now because lauren is back in my life and we just vented about how wendy is masterminding the game and probably wants to sit with miami and/or bianca at the end we need to take her out before she takes us out! whew!

hell yeah we merged. honestly at this point i've committed to flipping enough that i basically have to. the main concern is that lauren hates santiago sO MUCH that she wants him out immediately. luckily, wendy has decided she wants to target troy or bobby now, and i'm just letting her do that because lauren will absolutely still flip with me then. i have no idea where the rest of this game will take me i'm dying. especially with the announcement about to happen KJGHKLSJSKLF