I can't decide what I want more.

Do I want Vic (and also Sam) to lose spectacularly in the next vote or two so I can do nothing but laugh in their faces?

Or do I want Vic (and also Sam) to make it to the finals so I can eviscerate the fuck out of them for being really, really, really bad at this whole "don't play like Russell Hantz because lol" thing?

I mean, every conceivable result of this game involves Vic losing badly, so I'll be happy with any outcome. I just want whatever's going to provide me with the maximum amount of schadenfreude. Oops there's yet another word that Vic doesn't understand because it's above a 2nd grade reading level.


I'm legitimately relieved. I wish for your sake, hosts, that that was me just covering for some sadness. It's not. I woke up this morning with wide, energetic eyes because it meant today would be the first day in over a month that I would not have to give a shit about skype. That I would not have to deal with babysitting a Morgan or a Vicario. That I would not have to deal with emotionally stupid players doing emotionally stupid things. Now, I get to have my say in the end (and I'm going to relish that say, as long as there's at least one person in the end that I've been miserable around) AND have a maximum amount of time away from them to enjoy as peace and quiet. In the spirit of my illegitimate father (blood tests still pending), Randy Bailey, I consider getting voted out by these idiot dipshits to be the best gift and compliment they could give me.

I mean I'd rather not see Kate and Nick join me right away. Miller too, he's all right. Jesse too, he's all right. But if they all follow me, then this jury will be popping with the good people. Holli can come in here, too. She's top quality. But I'm expecting Holli to begin a brilliant strategy of playing all the sides. If she's in the end, it'll be the easiest vote I can make. But I like her well enough.

But if I see Sean in here next, I will be so bored.

If a Morgan is in here next, I'm just not going to sign in until there's at least one more jury member in here that I can stand.

If a Vicario is in here next... oh my god... there will be such schadenfreude.


Just so it's clear, by the way-- here's one example (of many) why the Vicarios fucking suck at this game. One example (of many) why Vic in particular has been kind of an embarrassment since the start.

So after the vote, Kate was on a call with Nick and Miller almost right away. Lots of "WTF" back and forth immediately. Nick and Miller held up their votes that they made. "We were not Scully votes. What the fuck just happened?" Kate instantly thinks to herself, "Ooh... I want to see votes." She calls Vic. He feigns "WTF". Kate asks to see his vote. He begins to do what he does every single time he's put in a position of having to nut up or at the very least attempt to lie with some tiny sense of talent.

NOPE. Motherfucker stumbles over ums and uhs and wells until he finally says it's back upstairs and he'd have to go get it. LOL. It's that kind of social skill that got Corey to crack him in 2 seconds when asking about idols. No fucking concept of how to deflect if wanting to dodge a topic. Kate doesn't press the showing of the vote, but Vic then does immediately contact Chode Loveridge whining "Kate's trying to get people to show votes." DOUBLE LOL.

And then -- AND THEN -- just a little tiny bit later, after Scott and Corey have both admitted to being votes for me, Kate's back on a call with both Vic and Sam at the same time. It's an hour long call. And as Kate is incredulous over their insistence to lie about a vote that the entire fucking game knows they did, as she's crying not because I'm voted out (because let's get real here) but because they are refusing to admit to it, they just sit there and rub their faces with their hands and listen and STILL refuse to admit.

Sam and Kate were part of the Anthony vote. Sam knows how fucking vengeful Kate felt after that vote. Sam was sobbing, too (but she cries a lot, so how many of her tears are crocodile in origin...) and knows how brutal that felt. How much they liked him. The deception that occurred over that vote. And that was over someone they knew FOR ONE DAY.

This was a vote against ME. Someone Kate has known more than anyone else for half of her life. Part of a core that both Kate AND Vic insisted and demanded be formed because of the close, deeply personal connection.

And they BOTH have chosen the tack of making this vote a personal one when it didn't have to be.

A game move is always just a game move unless you choose to actively make it personal.

That's what the Vicarios have done.

And they're going to burn.

Gee, I can't imagine why they've felt like the pre-jury has hated them.

I'm really not kidding, by the way.

They have no idea what I'm prepared to do.

The gif is word-for-word accurate to this situation.

If this is the road down which they choose to go, it is absolutely at their own peril.

I took myself off of anonymous and decided to refresh the board and walk away every 30 minutes (sometimes less) just to fuck with Vic.

He's always on the board. All day, erryday. Refreshing, looking at people's profiles (the active user list has, for many years, always been and will always be a beautiful tool), etc. I want him to see me on the board just as much as he is today. With my post count going up. Maybe I'll change my signature image a few more times just because I know he's looking.

Because he's the most stupidly paranoid person I've ever met in a game. I mean that.

Ever.

And I want him to get worse.

So here's another tick for my post count.

Oh, Vic won immunity. That's swell.

Sam Vicario boot plz kthx.

Honestly salivating over the possibility of seeing Samantha Vicario voted out tonight. Please let that happen. Please please please. I will be the second biggest dick you have ever seen if she joins me in the jury tonight.

(hint: the biggest dick you have ever seen will be me when Vic joins the jury or is in the finals)

Brian Scully @ 17/8/2016 12:19

Honestly salivating over the possibility of seeing Samantha Vicario voted out tonight. Please let that happen. Please please please. I will be the second biggest dick you have ever seen if she joins me in the jury tonight. (hint: the biggest dick you have ever seen will be me when Vic joins the jury or is in the finals)

I don't know Sam Loveridge has seen a lot of dicks, I don't think there is a way to prove you're bigger than them all.

I was wondering who would be the one to run with that...

It's almost always going to be me. I'm allowed to make fun of him after 5 seasons hosting together.

Yeah everybody else is super respectful and never makes fun of Sam.

Chode Loveridge is revered by all.

That tribal was utterly amazing and the Vicarios are really, really, really fucking terrible at this. So miserably fucking terrible. It's delicious.

HOLY SHIT THERE ARE SO MANY GIF REACTIONS PLEASE STAND BY

TRYING TO USE MOUSE WHILE COMING SO HARD AND IT'S NOT STOPPING THE WALLS ARE SO MILKY WHITE RIGHT NOW

that was a visual I did not need

lol