hello, it's me, debbie wanner trump gates roosevelt maiorano, and yes you are reading right, before marrying nick i had brief stints with donald trump, bill gates, and eleanor roosevelt. trump for the money - and then i realized, with my extensive background in research accountant analytics, that he actually had none. moving on to bill gates, i really just wanted an in in the computer industry, and he loved my graphic design skills on microsoft paint and hired me immediately in an associates position and head of creativity and architecture in microsofts childrens clinic. lastly i married eleanor roosevelt because she was my top customer at the Red Lipz Big Tipz gentleman's club, and it just seemed like the right thing to do, because despite all of my high power and authoritative positions i am also a humanitarian and human rights champion. i actually wrote three songs on Beyonce's new LEMONADE album just because i wanted to help people know that men ain't shit.

and so here i am, playing survivor and having to take time off at red lobster (which by the way that line in Formation? written by me!) and only doing my nun care work on the weeends. also, coach has already asked me to look out for him if he looks out for me, so i've basically already won.

a summation of day one so far

22 mins ago
Joanna Ward
Yeah it's the first day people tend to play it safe
21 mins ago
Debbie Maiorano
not me I already have my path to victory
20 mins ago
Joanna Ward
Just be careful lol, you know what they say, you can't win on day one but you sure can lose on day 1
17 mins ago
Debbie Maiorano
I've never heard that who says that
Joanna Ward
I think Rob Cesternino says that
16 mins ago
Debbie Maiorano
who
14 mins ago
Joanna Ward
Rob Cesternino, 3rd placer of survivor amazon (in a season with a final 2 to clear), once dubbed "Best player to never win" by jeff probst, hosts a podcast about survivor call Rob has a podcast
14 mins ago
Debbie Maiorano
never heard of her
12 mins ago
Joanna Ward
How long have you been watching?
2 mins ago
Debbie Maiorano
watching what
I've been watching my neighbor with my binoculars for about an hour now, but don't worry I'm being paid
Joanna Ward
I meant Survivor
1 min ago
Debbie Maiorano
oh since episode one


i am having too much fun

even tho i went on to ask if she meant the rob with a boston accent or the one from thailand, she still apparently likes me and reminded me to like the rules post so i wouldn't get a penalty. what a gal, man. what a gal

Chris and Joanna reply too fast for a perfect photo so they're on my shit list

OK ACTUAL INFO PART ONE. Bob is shady. he's offline but he replied within the minute. I SEE U I SEE U FOR WHO U R

yul liked my post within a minute what a true fan

anyway Bob asked for my social security number

I can add that to my job description. I'm too drunk to respond to IMs tho. Joanna has sent me 3

Nellie I'd like to apologize to you for consuming alcohol today but man I needed it I'm moving my best friend an hour away and it sucks. also I adore you. marry me. don't tell nick.

I keep answering ppl and then ignoring them for 30 mins and they respond within the minute. I'm so amazing.

you know what would be beautiful if wing stop delivered. specially to me right here in this forest I'm in idk where I am help me I want wings that's all just wings. teriyaki probably

LEMOMADE JUST CAME ON THE RADIO IN THE FOREST WE HAVENT HAD RADIO SERVICE IN THIRTY MINS AND THEN FREEDOM JUSY STARTS BLASYIN THRU THE RADIO CLEWR AS DAY.

it's a sign I win

Nellie I still am giving u the option to use my tidal to listen to lemonade just lmk girl. I want ur children

Chris: are u in a drunken slumber debzzz

no dude I'm just ignoring u lol

how does PW Ciera have negative reputation whose mother did you vote out this time girl. get some chill

im gonna do this new thing where nothing I say is right but I say it to everyone so they have to start questioning if they're actually wrong themselves. performance art at its finest.