So I figured I’d do some first impressions, you know, talk about how I’m feeling about this cast. (I, for one, am astonished your willing to talk about others.) Y’know, I don’t like how you assume I don’t care about other people. (Because you don’t.) Irrelevant. (It is literally the topic we’re discussing.) Pfft, details. (YES, DETAILS ABOUT WHAT WE’RE DISCUSSING.) Do you wanna sit here and argue all night, or actually get something productive done? (I’m torn to be honest.)

ROUGHLY in chronological order:



So, Joanna was one of the first people to hit me up. And, she’s, y’know - okay. (No social skills to speak of?) I’m not gonna say your wrong, but I won’t correct you either. (Yup, I figured.)

Like, I appreciate that she’s trying to make conversation, and that is cool of her. (A for effort, baby.) Effort starts with an E, idiot. (Just make your goddamn point.) Like, she outright said “I really don’t know what to say to all these people, I can’t think of anything.” (Aww, that’s actually pretty cute and earnest of her.) Yeah, but that doesn’t help the whole “basically talking at a wall thing.”

(Don’t you think your being a bit judgemental?) Isn’t that kind of the point of confessing? (If your idea of baring your innermost thoughts encompasses harshly judging them, I kinda pity you.) The worst thing someone can do is be self-pitying. (...fuck.) She also said something about just asking for a random rep. (That would explain her not having an image yet.) Yul could also just be lazy. (And there you go insulting the host.) Regardless, that does seem a BIT odd, don’t you think? (I suppose you have a point.) Ahh, optimism - love it!

Overall, I think she’s probably new to these sort of things and a BIT socially awkward. Hopefully she grows out of it, and regardless I do admire her trying to work through it - but it’s definitely stilted at point. (She might be an easy vote to scoop up if you keep talking to her though.) Right you are, my man - which is exactly the plan. And if I have to cut her loose? (Sadder things have happened.) Precisely.



So, Shane hit me up fairly early. And the conversation was...ok? We started talking in Spanish, which escalated to discussing schoolwork. (And your hideous performance in all academic disciplines.) ...I was going to leave that part out, but yes. (Hey, I’m just giving them a full picture - confessional, remember?) Confessional, not CONFESSION. (Close enough.) We’re not even Catholic!

Anyway, I was my usual witty self with Shane, and he seemed a bit...troubled, trying to respond to it? Like, he comes off OTT, but it felt stilted and awkward, even as I went to match him. (Do you think it’s Dan?) It’s probably Dan. (Could be Walrus.) Eh, Walrus already played as Shane. (People can replay reps.) Yeah, nerds do. (Wow, gonna need to get some ice for those sick burns.)

Honestly, I expected a BIT more out of a Shane rep. He just doesn’t seem to have the personality for it - too low energy. (Like, the opposite of an energizer bunny.) A dragon? (Is the opposite of a bunny a dragon?) I assumed this was common knowledge. Dragon’s eat bunnies dude. (Huh.) Anyway, Shane is certainly someone to pay attention to, since he was around early and all, but I don’t really know if we’ll click. I’m a Lego, and he’s a Mega Block. (It’s true, those can never go together.) Exactly. And as the superior player, I'm obviously Legos. (Well duh.)



SO, Debbie comes to me, and it immediately I notice that her last name isn’t Waner - it’s Maiorano. (Yesssssssss.) I’m glad someone appreciates my rep choice. We had a pretty fun time talking about all that assorted nonsense, our open marriage, stuff like that. I love a sense of humor in a person. (I sense a but.) Well, she was a BIT dry at some points, but she managed to bounce back from it pretty consistently.

(Huh, I’m surprised.) What, that I’m being mostly positive about someone? (Yes.) God, I’m not THAT much of an ass, am I? (Do you really want me to answer that?) Point taken. But yeah, I like Debbie, and there’s definitely potential for a working partnership there. (Plus, I love the idea of our married couple running the game?) Right? You gotta have some fun with these sorta things, and it’s a golden opportunity.



So, Coach. (No words, eh?) Actually, plenty. (Oh really?) Mhmm. It’s kind of a bummer actually. We have two super kooky characters, and both are kinda...meh. (At least Debbie was cool.) True. And Shane has SOME potential, even if it wasn’t great - he did go along with a few of my things. But Coach...like, it’s not like he’s BAD, but it’s like chatting with cleverbot. He’s not really directing the conversation in any particular way - I’m just kinda shaping it and seeing where he goes with it.

And, y’know, I don’t necessarily BEGRUDGE him for that. (Kinda sounds like you do.) I don’t. (Denial only makes you more apparent.) Like, it seems EVIDENT that it’s his first game, and there’s always growing pains with that. And he asked me if I was “familiar” with this sort of thing. (I dunno, is 25 games familiar? Fuckin’ nerd.) Kinda similar to Joanna, all in all, but didn’t come off QUITE as earnest and gave me less to work with in return. He did respond decently quickly though. (That’s a plus.)

I’m just not sure if the ~click~ is there with Coach. Even with Joanna, stilted as it came across at times, I felt like she appreciated what I was offering to some extent. Coach...not so much. (Pre-merge?) Oh, for sure.



What a glorious individual. (Of course, he chose a Tocantins rep - he’s a man of fine taste.) I know right? And he loves JT too. It’s a match made in heaven. (Inspired choice vs. “oh hey this guy is on the currently airing season?” How could it be anything but.) I’m like a wee anime schoolgirl with hearts in her eyes, really. (A pretty anime schoolgirl?) ALREADY ripping off Nick’s material? For shame, voice. (Fiiiiiiine.)

We didn’t get to talk a TON, but of everyone I talked to, he seemed to have the best social skills. I think we have very similar philosophies when it comes to how we’re approaching this ORG, on top of our actual Survivor opinions. (Which makes sense, when you think about it - if two people share one opinion, odds are there’s more. They’re not polar opposites, y’know?) Exactly - he’s definitely someone I wanna keep up and work with in this game. Hopefully tonight was just him being a normal human and having a life, and we’ll have more opportunities to talk down the line.



He sucks. (I concur.) His idea of stimulating conversation was “oh i got home from work.” “i’m washing dishes.” “haha i’m almost done.” (Ugh, your gonna make me gag.) Give me SOMETHING to work with man.

And the major shame is, there’s so FEW Chris reps in ORGs, and then this doofus gets one of them. (A national tragedy.) He’s gonna be subactive at best, and not even one I can control. When one gives you one word responses in the first conversation? (That, my friend, is a sign to CUT and RUN.) Glad we’re on the same page. (Let’s hope it never happens again.)



Bob is...(OK?) Yeah, sounds about right. He seemed a bit meh early on, but as the conversaiton he seemed to get a bit more into his rhythm. We talked about TV shows and stuff, and it was like - replacement level conversation. Solidly average - stilted in places, but I’ve definitely had worse. (coughchriscouch) I mean, if you want to call THAT conversation.

I have no real opinions on Bob at the moment. He could be useful as a number or something, but I don’t think we’re gonna be having deep, interpersonal connections. He’s kinda just...fodder? (What a kind human being you are.) But am I wrong? (I mean, he’s a thinking human being.) But am I WRONG? (...dammit.) Checkmate. (That doesn’t even fit, you babbling monkey.) King me. (Okay Zane.)



Bobdawg seems pretty chill - plus he has an awesome rep choice. (Casaya <3) He can carry a conversation, which gives him an edge over a few people. And he’s willing to go along with the dumb things I like to talk about. (Everything you like to talk about?) I’m not gonna say your wrong. (That’s because I’m right.)

Anyway, he seems down to earth and willing to chat about things. Someone I could definitely see as my right hand, Because I think he’s GOOD, but he’s not as good as ME, y’know? (And here comes the inflated ego again.) Debbie’s in a similar boat - she’s threatening ENOUGH, but someone I can beat if it comes down to it. (God, it’s not even been 24 hours - stop being such a fucking gamebot.) I can’t, it’s in my inner nature. (I AM your inner nature.)

OK, that’s everyone I’ve talked to so far. (I’m not sure we’d call what Chris did “talking.”) You get the gist of what I’m saying. (Well I am you.) And yet we still constantly argue. (I think that says more about you than it does me.) Again, we ARE the same person. (I’m not sure how comfortable I am being lumped in with this...mess.) OMG I am SO done with you right now. I’m gonna go talk to my new friends! (Yeah yeah yeah, you’ll be back.)

Hey, so another quick pregame confessional. I’m sure a lot’s gonna happen tonight, but I have actual work to get done too, so I’m not sure if I’ll get something up - wanted to give y’all SOMETHING. And I have stuff to talk about, since I’m usually around and wanna get something out there. (Get a fucking life.) I’m gonna pointedly ignore that.

ANYWAY, this one won’t be quite as long, because it’s basically more of the same - I’ve talked to some new people, like Candice and Misty, but there’s nothing super noteworthy there. (Both can hold a conversation, Candice seems smart, Misty seems like a slaayyyyyyyyyy girl. There, I did it for you.) Uhh...thanks I guess? (Your fucking welcome.) You seem angry. (I live with you 24/7. It’s not a great existence.) *Sigh*

I do wanna talk about this coin twist, because it does seem pretty cool. I mean, there’s been variations on it before, like Twisted dollars, but still fairly unique. (Wow, way to backhand compliment them. Class act.) And I have some neat ideas for how to handle it - I wanna exploit the functions in ways that people might not be prepared for. Because those three rules, in tandem, can create some interesting situations.

First off - there is very little incentive to actually hold onto your coins. (Well, barring an auction.) True, but we can be reasonably certain that the auction won’t be held until a merge. (Touche.) In that case, the coins can be used strategically. Wanna cement a bond? Here, have a few coins there, bud. Wanna bond an alliance? Center all the coins on someone, maybe the most flaky person. (The could try to cut and run - dumb people get greedy.) It’d be a calculated risk - more likely it’ll incentivize them not to burn however many people. (So, kind of like how Fishbach always talks about using idols to build community?) Essentially, yes - same principle anyway.

And, the crux of the issue is - even if you give your coins to someone, when they’re voted out, they distribute the coins. So, if I were to say, give my coins to Yul, and he’s voted out? (Odds are, the coins are going back to ya’ - he’s basically a walkin’, talkin’ bank.) So as long as your not INSTANTLY implicated, if you even had anything to do with it, you can use it as a tool to reduce any coin target you may have on your back while still having access to the benefits they derive. (Although, being real here - what are the odds someone will target someone for their money?) It’s good to have regardless - give people as few excuses as possible to target you.

Of course, this all doesn’t matter if you come off super sketchy when you talk about coins. It’s gotta be an organic, natural progression - but if played right, it could definitely be used. (Well, your fucked then.) Realistically it’s not gonna have a HUGE impact on the social dynamics, but hey - it's fun to think about, which is probably why its a twist to begin with. And in a pinch, it could definitely be useful, or in broad strokes. Just gotta play it smart. (Refer to my previous statement.)

Final 17: Stuff Totally Happened

Wow OK so I assumed we wouldn’t be having a challenge tonight. (You know what they say about assumptions.) I do? (I mean I do, so on some level you oughta.) That’s a mighty assumption on your part. (...shut the fuck up. Move on.) Anyway, I figured I should fill you in on what went down at the Final 17 except...it wasn’t a ton of stuff?

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I was going around doing my social thang. (Never use that word again.) But strategically, there wasn’t a TON of things happening on my end - I’ll fill you in on what DID happen, but it’s really not much.

First off, I double checked and I didn’t talk about this last time (shocker of shockers) but I did form a chat with myself, Jerry, and Jenn. And on a personal level they’re two of the people I enjoy most here, up there with Misty. So like, I want to remain as loyal as I can to it... (I sense a but.) Well, it’s complicated.

So Candice didn’t want to vote Joe last round. (For God knows what reason.) And Joe wanted fucking JERRY of all people, and she backed both that or a Shane boot. (Lolno.) YUP! Like, Shane is slowly but surely growing on me, even if his AIM is ALWAYS FUCKING ON. (That is quite possibly the most irritating thing in existence. GO. ON. INVIS. WHEN. YOU. LOG. OUT.) Preaching to the choir, brotha. (You can’t sing for shit though.) I’m a modern day William Hung really. (These references are getting a BIT far reaching, don’t you think?) This is an ORG, people without encyclopedic reality show knowledge don’t exist. (I mean, true.)

But yeah, Shane is also like, slowly getting into the majority since Candice turned people off with not going with the majority. (Like, seriously, what an idiot - your not around enough to explain it well, on top of it being seen as a potential coin grab.) Yeah I - I really can’t think of a good reason to not vote Joe there, even if they agreed to not vote each other or whatever. It just SCREAMS shady and emotional, to me at least. So she WAS sitting in a pretty spot, but her paranoia fucked it up.

Granted, there’s still no majority chat. (GGWP) But I actually just got a message from Misty where Shane asked if they wanted to work together, so maybe the me/Misty/Shane/Jerry/Tina thing will become a reality. Tina seemed to be angling for that post #joegate. So if we go to Tribal, I predict that will coalesce. And since I have the side deal with Jenn, and both Misty and I have the thing with Fabio, ODDS are it’d be Candice going - we already discussed this a bit ago.

Which is perfect for me, because I haven’t talked to Candice in forever. (Well she is in Europe.) Yeah, but she barely puts any effort into being online - I haven’t seen her online at all in DAYS, or even posting in the groupchat. It’s only a six hour difference - it could be much, much worse. (You could also just be up in the mornings.) I HAVE BEEN AND STILL SHE’S A NO SHOW. (Eek.) Yeah - we’re probs just barely missing each other, but it’s still irritating. So ideally she goes, and then probably Fabio? Maybe Shane or Jenn, although not ideally.

I’m actually not super high on Tina - she’s quick to respond, but there’s not much substance. There’s no real ~clicking~ there, and it seems like a partnership of convenience - maybe she likes me more because of my fabulous personality, but not so much on my end. (You’re kinda a dick, you know that?) I’m everything my name rhymes with. (Sick? Prick?) ...maybe I didn’t think this all the way through. (Rick?) If only I watched The Walking Dead. (You can be an insane drunken grandfather, if that’s better.) Oddly enough, it’s more comforting.

And one more thing I wanted to touch on was Bobdawg seemed to pry for a bit of info. (Lol, here you go dude.) Sure, it comes off like I’m dumb and spewing off all my deepest secrets, but like - it doesn’t really matter if he knows Candice threw her vote? (Like, he can extrapolate she’s on the bottom from it, but again - what does that do?) Not much, really. And it makes him trust me more, so whatever. Coach apparently was similarly prying to people, which turned like, Misty and Jenn off? Maybe Tina? My memories shit lol. (Not the only thing shit about you.)

But yeah, that’s MORE or less it, besides some bonding or whatever. And since this is late already I’ll END IT HERE.

Final 16: You Don’t Even GO Here

I’m sure your loving my trend of posting confessionals for round long after they’re relevant. (God you were such a casting mistake.) *Insert excuse here* (You...you didn’t even bother to replace that?) Fuck. (Moron.)

Regardless, not a TON happened to me in this round with regards to relationships. Like, basically just solidifying what I already had, not a TON of branching out and whatnot. A little bit that I’ll get into for a second with regards to the idol, but I want to get into my overall strategy a bit. (...you have one of those?) Go fuck yourself. (I’m not attracted to you.) Well that’s just a lie.

Anyway, overall I’ve actually been keeping my activity to moderate levels. Like, a few hours of AIM a day, maybe less if no one’s around, because of a few reasons. One, the game is somewhat slow-paced, so AIM is frequently a graveyard. Two, even when people ARE around, responses are sporadic with most people. (That’s a light way of putting it.) So even if I WANTED to be “superhuman Nick” that’s not really realistic here.

And honestly, that’s not even REALLY necessary for me. There is 0.00% chance I go home if we go to Tribal Council. (Famous last words.) The alliance of me-Misty-Jerry-Shane is slowly progressing - Shane talked to Misty, I’m actually “talking” to Jerry about it right now. (Air quotes are so 2004.) I was nine. (In some ways you still are.) I love Jerry, but he already knows about it AND is taking forever to get back to me. Like he’s supposed to be my closest ally, but the time I wait on responses is getting kinda crazy.

So, strategically I’m fine, so I’m not doing a ton of alliance building on a day-to-day basis. I’ve fallen off talking to Tina a BIT which I should try to rectify. (She’s just so bad at continuing the conversation - there’s no branching points.) And I feel bad, because like she spends long and quick replies back, but there’s NOTHING of substance. It’s just hard, I guess. And I need to talk to Candice more in general, but timezones make it tricky. So those two are ones I need to focus on moving forward. (Well, on top of maintaining the ones you already have.) Oh yeah, that’s a thing too. But essentially, I'm trying to play down my threat-y ness as much I can, just being social but not super active or strategic. Cliched, but Host Yul can attest to it's effectivity.

Now, SOME idol developments. First off, Misty found the 368 parchment in the archives board, which probably explains the riddle. (Don’t you feel like quite the dummy, checking the past board.) Shut up. (Make me.) Physically impossible. (Checkmate.) We went through some phrases about water, but no real luck - I’ll need to share it with Jerry soon-ish, but talks for another time.

However, out of fucking NOWHERE Sandra asks me - hey, did the captains get an idol clue? After all, it’s the only logical thing. (Umm....) You're not on my tribe? We've barely talked? (She doesn’t even GO here.) I consulted Misty about it, and we both agreed that Ibe most likely told her, so I just came clean and was like, yeah I did.

Apparently Ibe only told her about the water bottle part though, so I was like - okay, let’s undermine him a little bit. (Man you hold a grudge.) That I do. So I shared the poem part with her. She didn’t really GET anything from it, and she said she scoured the board - we agreed that its most likely hidden on the past board. (Dick.) As far as she’s concerned, I’m the nice, easily persuaded guy. ;)

Anyway, that’s something that could develop further. Which is nice, since Joanna was the person I talked to the most on the other end. (Sure, she was a bit awkward, but she was earnest - we actually did like her.) Although them voting out a huge challenge competitor can only HELP our tribe going forward. (I wonder if she’ll dominate Redemption Island?) Very possible. Let’s avoid going there, yes? MY POINT BEING, before I digressed, that I need to work more on those cross-tribe bonds - the only people I have anything resembling solidity with are Bobdawg and Debbie, and adding Sandra and hopefully others to that list can’t hurt.

Final 15 +14: Excellent to Shitty to Excellent in 3.5

So, normally I’d just be like “yeah stuff happened last round but THIS ROUND etc. etc.” but there’s actually been a ton going on and I feel kinda shitty for being slow to report it - I need to stop banking on treemail being just some 24 hour waiting period. (Huh, for once he’s not delusional.) I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR YOU TODAY. (You’re gonna have to make time, unfortunately. Bitch.) *Sigh* Let me just explain what the hell has been happening, okay? (Fiiiiiiiiiine.)

So, this previous round a lot of alliance building started to come into play in a big way. The foursome that had been talked about for quite some time of myself, Misty, Shane, and Jerry FINALLY managed to become a thing, which was great. It basically meant I had a majority, given my loyalty to the Jenn and Jerry alliance - and it also means I can keep around the people I like even if they don’t necessarily like each other. Apparently Shane and Jenn don’t get along SUPER great, as I later found out, but I think I can be the bridge there.

There was a bit of the ol’ “yup this sure is a chat” but Shane, Misty, and I - along with guest star Jenn - played some boardgameonline to just, y’know, bond as a tribe. It was pretty fun, to be honest. I totally fucked Misty over at every turn. (And that is why you didn’t win.) The IMPORTANT thing was - I beat Misty. (Man you’re petty.) I tend to pick on the people I like - just ask Marisa from Twisted - and it did sorta remind me of playing a boardgame at the kitchen table or whatever. Dumb jokes, temporary alliances, shocking betrayals, the works. (...so Survivor?) Survivor has destroyed far fewer friendships than Monopoly and you know that. (*shivers* Good point.)

On top of that, I also decided to tell Jenn about the new alliance. I feel like something like this is apt to get out there down the line, so I figured - if I tell her ASAP then she’ll be more likely to trust me. (Or she’ll be like oh hey he’s transparently playing both sides, bye I don’t trust you.) I mean, true - that was a bit of Jerry’s argument, but I talked him into telling her. (As you were already telling her, mind you.) Well, I wanna be the better and more steadfast ally in Jenn’s mind, ne? (You’re not devious, your just a dick.) And you’re a figment of my imagination - you’re like, a fragmented dick. (EW.) YEAH PICTURE THAT YOU FUCK!

ANYWAY, I think I made the right call there - she decided to reciprocate by offering me the archive clue, which she mentioned Misty told her about. (Sly one, that Misty, eh?) Very true - using these bits of information to gain trust is ORG 101, hell it’s a tool I’m talking about using right now. (Can’t underestimate her.) Oh she’ll probably flip on me at 7 or 8 if I don’t put enough work into “perceived threats sticking together” or whatever.

So, in part because this gave me an easy avenue to do so, I gave Jenn the other half of the clue, because at this point I’m trying to get it to as many allies as I can before it becomes public knowledge. I assumed given that fucking SANDRA of all people knew about, Ibe was much more loosey-goosey with the info. (It’s like he’s TRYING to find ways to fuck up our game.) Huh, we’re in agreement. (Don’t get used to it.) So of my core allies, at this point I only hadn’t told Shane.

So, the second alliance is set, my core is nicely coming together - I’m on top of the world. (Cue the swap, maestro!)



It’s like random.org hates my guts or something. (It wouldn’t be the first.) Like, it was quite possibly the WORST configuration possible - not only was I on the minority on NuIfbith (Man Google does not want that to be a word, does it?) but the two people I could have conceivably flipped to my side, in Debbie and Bobdawg, were BOTH the ones sent to the other tribe. I hadn’t talked to Tina in a while, because... (She doesn’t offer any sort of conversation?) Hey, Misty agrees with me on this one. (It’s good to know you use her as a source of validation.)

Having Shane is NICE, because I trust him and he has an in with Coach, but Tina has zero incentive to not flip on us if its her head or ours, and it absolutely would be. Why would Coach flip on a comfortable majority in a 4-3 scenario? God knows I wouldn’t. (Don’t project, everyone’s their own player.) Yeah, but I’m the best player. (*sigh*) Way I figure, if this tribe loses ONE challenge, I’m probably going to the Oasis - two and it may as well be written in stone.

There was a ray of hope, though - according to Yul, if Fabio doesn’t show by IC results, he’s gonna get removed, since it’s been three (Going on four by the time you finish this tbh) days since he’s logged on, regardless of who wins immunity. So that’d give me some breathing room, and there WAS some talk of NuChikorita throwing a few challenges to keep us safe.

But it’s not like this tribe had the perfect configuration either - the target would fall on one of the two people I actually TALK to from the other tribe, who we’re gonna kinda need at the merge. Fabio is inactive and Candice feels like she’s on the outs - got the chance to have a nice chat with her yesterday morning and... (She might as well have screamed it to the heavens.) Couldn’t have worded it better myself. Jokes, of course I could. (I’m ashamed to be part of your psyche.) It’d only be six provided we could retain Tina’s loyalty, which honestly seems like a dicey caveat at this point - and circumstances as there are now, probably even dicier.

But, and thank the heavens for this, the passageway opened. I immediately messaged Misty to ask who was on between Bobdawg and Debbie, and she said Bobdawg. (Once again you go scurrying to Misty.) WHATEVER. So I hit Bobdawg up, and I get into it quick - I know there’s a good chance Tina or Shane could see this, and if they do I’m SUPER hosed. (Super-hosed, super-hosed - she’s super hosey.) That has zero relevance and is actively cringeworthy. (I’m sorry.) You should be.

We have to make a decision, and make it fast. I knew, long-term, this might hurt my relationship with Tina or Shane - but I was put in a shitty hand to begin with. I’m not gonna throw out a pocket ace so they don’t have to fold. (You don’t know how Poker works do you?) There are chips. (At least he’s learning.) Personally I’m more of a pretzel guy. (Either that’s unbelievably stupid or a horrible pun. Regardless, I hate you.) Puns aside (I KNEW IT) I’m willing to take appearing like a dick to two people and maybe developing a snake-y persona to guarantee my safety.

Bobdawg was more hesitant than me, and he said he needed to talk to a few people. (Lol he’s so in the majority on Ifbith.) He came back pretty quickly and was like, yeah - let’s do this. He asked that I do everything in my power to keep Debbie around, and I was VERY quick to jump on that offer. One, because bridging them over at a merge is PIVOTAL for secure numbers, and two, because I wanted to get off that nightmare tribe as soon as possible.

And like, I think it was the right call for the Ifbith majority, provided that’s who Bobdawg consulted. They were basically looking at a situation where two of their pivotal numbers were in danger - in a minority, that is not something you can afford to lose. Yeah, they lose a shot at me, who’s probably perceived as a power player. (Do I even need to comment?) OH COME ON GIVE ME THIS ONE. (I shall forever hold my ground if it’s against you.) That’s a surprising amount of dedication to hatred. (Don’t ask me, ask your therapist - this is all you baby.) REGARDLESS, they lose that shot, but they also minimize the losses they can take, still have a shot at two of us if they want it, and even cut a deal to incentivize me to eat at my own first. Solid gameplay, in the grand scheme of things.

I did apply a bit of terms on my end - ideally, Tina goes before Shane on that side. So that gives Shane some time to get himself settled, and hopefully hop in the passageway next round if he can. But honestly this deal, if I can get it to manifest itself into something larger long-term - and that’s a big if - could be what I need to get some numbers at merge on top of securing my current safety. Yeah, there’s only four other people I feel I can count on - plus whoever comes back from Redemption Island, likely - but if I can get some cross-tribal bonds going, we might be able to divide and conquer Ifbith.

And another way to sweeten the deal was an idol clue - this one much, much more informative than the last. I POURED all the information I had to Shane, in part to solidify that yes, I hadn’t abandoned him - in part to give him some footing on his tribe. (He actually doesn’t seem angry with you about it, oddly enough.) He’s probably privately not thrilled, but regardless - good mindset or good masking of his thoughts regardless. Props to Shane.

I didn’t think to reverse image search, but Shane is actually smart so he did - quickly coming up with a restaurant called Fish Out of Water on the beach indicated by the idol clue. I coulda SWORE I went through that password specifically before, but it worked - wa-la, my fancy new idol.



Beautiful. (Cool it, Gollum.) Anyway, everyone I’m aligned with at this point knew I had all these clues, so I was quick to inform each of the four that I had an idol. Not my IDEAL strategy - I’d like to limit it to one or two at most - but circumstance makes fools of us all. (That sounded surprisingly insightful.) I’m wary. (Can’t I pay a compliment?) No. (Honestly, can’t blame ya’.)

Shane also tried that password, but it didn’t work, so I was like - FUCK. OK, different passwords, so I offhandedly mentioned to Bobdawg my confusion at my password. He seemed confused, so I sent him my clue - and he sent me his. (Jackpot.) It was literally a picture of a fountain, and I told Shane to try fountain of youth, since - c’mon. (Like to point out THAT WAS WAY MORE OBVIOUS THAN MINE.) RIGHT? (The blatant host favoritism, tsk tsk tsk.) Don’t get us court martialed! (Do you know what that term means?) Do you? (I’M ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE.)

Shane, unfortunately, reported it was taken - so I was like, OK then, obviously Bobdawg has it. So, to confirm that, I told Bobdawg “Hey dude I think that’d be fountain of youth? Go try that?” And his response totally tipped me of. It was basically, “Ehh, I’m not that bothered by idols - more things to focus on.” Yup, OK - he got it, no surprise there. Got the information I needed from that exchange.

This whole whirlwind of a night really shifted the dynamics of the game, and I do think I managed to gain some trust. (At the cost of some others - Tina was NOT thrilled. Especially since you didn’t tell her.) Yeah, she didn’t seem to be super confident in my reassurances - rightly so, honestly. Man, if she could go before merge that would be SWELL. (For both our sakes, gotta agree with ya'.)

I do think I opened up a degree communication that might not have been there with Shane, Bobdawg, and later on and to a lesser extent Debbie. It’s the kind of thing only brought on by intense circumstance and gaming, kind of like the bonds being in the minority fosters. (Being included in the action does do that, to some extent.) And hey, got an idol, got some options on how to position myself going forward - man, REALLY made the most out of the shithole of a situation. I have a LOT of thinking and a LOT of talking to do. (Well, get on it.) Will do.

Actual confessional in a bit but:



Pretty much a summary of every interaction I have with Debbie. (The sad thing is he's not exaggerating.) Sad? It's GREAT! (You are disturbed.)

Final 13 (Kinda-ish 12): What Am I Even Doing?

Things have been...weird. (Understatement of the century.)

Since my last confessional, a few things have happened. I’ve been talking a bunch with Candice and Bobdawg - which maybe SHOULDN’T be surprising, but some stuff has happened.

With Candice, I really got the sentiment that she doesn’t have anyone in this game. (Tina, probably - but who else?) And like, we had a nice conversation - her opinions on BBCan are weird, but it’s always fun to see different viewpoints. (Never thought the day I’d see a Kelsey fan.) Right? Very odd. But nice conversation nonetheless.

I figured, talking to her, that she’d be Chikorita loyal. (She really has no reason to be though.) Ifbith is divided as fuck though, so where is she gonna go? (Wherever you are not.) Touche. I told her about the idol though - (IDIOT!) - because I figure I can use it as a bonding tool for Chikorita going into the merge. The circumstances in which I got it mean it’ll be tricky to keep long-term regardless, on top of all the clues I was known to have.

But yeah, I’m hoping that is one I can have the most don’t. We’ll see if that holds up or not though. (Probably not.) I don’t appreciate your negativity. (I don’t appreciate your idiocy.)

The other person I talked to a ton was Bobdawg, and that’s been very fruitful. (He’s just a super chill guy, which is nice.) Yeah, we get on extraordinarily well - plus there’s some strategic talks now, after we made that move. I trust him, stupid as it might seem - and given how divided Ifbith is, I think he’s definitely attainable in a merge situation.

Speaking of Ifbith, that vote was a CLUSTERFUCK. Tina was the presumed target (the bitch - more on her in a few) but Coach voted Chris last round so he’s targeted him. SO basically Bobdawg in the middle, from what I gather, and ultimately came out to a 5-1-1 vote to boot Coach. (Who was the other 1?) No clue, people think it was Bob though - which doesn’t shock me.

Although, honestly, I’m a little disappointed. Tina pissed me off - I went to talk to her and she’s like “there might have been a crack if there were 3 of us :) “ and passive aggressive shit with me. And then to outright aggressive. (Sorry we didn’t lie down and die for you?) Like, Bobdawg said he’d try to keep me safe if I had stayed on that tribe. (But he’s one voice among many - there is NO guarantee, and if a Chikoritas leaves, it’s is.) And honestly it’s probably more likely, since they don’t want to leave three of them on one tribe - it’d let Chikorita control both ends, to some extent.

But as far as Tina’s concerned, I’m the selfish asshole here. (I mean you kinda are.) I AM, but she would have done the same thing, or if she didn’t, would have been fine throwing me under the bus. Sorry, I’m not gonna be the martyr for your hate, Tina - find someone else, please and thank you.

What is HILARIOUS to me, though, is that she was convinced she was gone - and now she’s made it to the Final 12. (I’m irritated we threw a challenge for her.) It wasn’t IDEAL, but Fabio had to go at some point - and since Misty and Jerry seemed to really wanna do it, I’m down. I don’t like having this next challenge come down to well, skill. (Because you don’t have any?) Because if it does, I’m basically being put in a situation where I have to boot Candice WHILE she knows about my idol, or break my promise to Bobdawg and boot Debbie. NEITHER is ideal, especially because I want Tina O-U-T before yesterday. Like honestly I’m prepared to offer her as a sacrifice at merge to Ifbith, if she makes it past this Tribal stage. (You're really not a fan.) I’m petty, I don’t give a fuck.

One other thing I wanted to touch on - apparently Shane has the idol? And APPARENTLY it’s silver, the same color as my idol? (Ehhhhhhh...) Something feels off here. (Why would he lie to us though?) Maybe he was secretly pissed at me, or maybe he went native. Hell, it wouldn’t shock me - Bobdawg is charismatic as fuck. Trying to cover for him obviously having it, especially after I let Shane know the password - they could be tight. (Or Yul could be lazy and Shane really DOES have a silver idol.) 50-50 really - I guess it’s like Schrodinger's Idol. There’s only one, but I need to operate under the assumption both have it until proven otherwise.

Shane has been a bit distant, even if we talk some game. (Trust your instincts, man - they haven’t led you astray before.) I mean they absolutely have. (Oh. True.) My gut says Bobdawg has the idol, but my head says Shane wouldn’t lie about that. UGHHHHHHH. The truth will come out eventually, I guess.

Oh, and Fabio left. (Ho-hum.)

Final 12: You Know What They Say...

Yeah we’re gonna probably merge tonight. Select live challenge PLUS the Final Oasis challenge? The auction is most likely happening tonight, it’s what makes the most sense. I mean I SUPPOSE the returnee could rejoin a tribe with immunity, but that’d be boring. I’d survive anyway, but DAMMIT I WANNA PLAY. (You’re like a petulant child. Be fucking patient.) NO. I REFUSE.

Like, YES, I’ve been doing a ton of set-up for later on in the game, and that’s good for my game. (Incoming but!) But it’s BORING. Like, I like chatting with people, but without Tribal Council, a major part of the reason I play, and the exhilaration thereof, just isn’t there. (Page Alecia, we got an adrenaline junkie here.) Did you see she didn’t get a question at the reunion? (I was shocked to be honest.) Same dude, same. Also who the hell is Sia? (I literally only know things you know.) FUCK. No wonder it didn’t help when you tutored me for that Math test. (You’d think he’d do well with open notes, but...)

So even though a later merge would probably benefit me, given the current tribe configurations, I welcome a merge. (Famous last words?) Aww you think I’m famous! (It’s like you TRY to twist my words.) Kinda hard to twist an abstract concept. I mean I guess I could move your mouth and tongue and stuff, and literally twist your words. (I’m an abstract concept too?) Don’t worry you're real to me baby. (Are you...are you hitting on your own subconscious?) It’s been a bit of a dry season. (Ew.)

And the closer numbers COULD be helpful. If there were less Ifbiths around, there would be some incentive to trim our own numbers before going after them - and without time to gain some strategic footing with a Tribal Council or two, that could easily be me. Having numbers THIS close incentivizes us to stick together - 7-5, with Tina and the Oasis’er (Buffy?) in flux.

I’m trying to ramp up my activity and brush off the cobwebs of my old alliances. (GET THOSE SPIDERS AWAY FROM ME!) It’s a cobweb, not a spider web. (Are cobwebs not spider webs?) Didn’t you just establish we only know the same things? (...) Regardless, I THINK Jenn and Jerry thing is still fine, given both of them not really being around to consider other things. Misty is in with Chikorita because she has a lot of sway with us. Shane is a BIT of a wildcard (apt rep eh?) but I think he’s with us after the planning chat we had earlier.

I think I’m likely going to stick with Chikorita at least for a vote or two, but I could see it getting clusterfuck-y real quick. I’m putting some eggs in the cross-tribal-Bobdawg basket, just to have some options. (And also to cover your ass.) WELL if they do perchance win immunity, would nice to be spared. Odds are me or Misty would be the target, let’s be real.

In order to earn some trust, I told him - pretty casually actually - that I have the idol. And he FINALLY put the fountain password in there. And like, it’s still weird to me - it’s possible he wasn’t paying attention, but he’s SMARTER than that. It’s just weird, not entirely sure what to think. Maybe Shane really DOES have the idol - it’d be nice if he did, it honestly would. (You're a paranoid fuck though.) Yes, yes I am.

Anyway, that’s basically it, and I’m sure merge will be a clusterfuck, so may as well save my writing time for that. Peace!

Final 12 2.0: Nick Takes YOUR (The Producers) Questions!

1. Who is your closest ally? Do you plan to go to the end with them?

I’d say it’s a tossup between Misty and Jerry? (Wow, way to cop-out.) Misty is probably my main strategic soundboard, but I obviously can’t go to the end with her. There’s a chance she could beat me, even if I think my social game is above hers, more or less. Besides, I’m not under any illusions she wants me in the end.

As for Jerry, I’m 100% locked in to go the end with him. I trust him pretty much implicitly, and plus, I’d beat him in the end. (His activity has taken a BIT of a drop.) That it has - I think I did a good job securing his loyalty before that though, and he’s picking back up a bit. I think we can definitely rock this merge, and although I’d probably take a lot of the heat, I think it’s definitely doable with him as a plus one.

2. Who would you say is the biggest overall threat remaining? Strategic? Social? Physical?

I’d say I probably come off as very threatening to a lot of players, just because of activity, having an idol, being a captain, etcetera. (I’m amazed at how aggressive a game you’ve managed to play despite going to one Tribal Council.) It’s a talent really. (The same way managing to stub your toe every morning is a talent tbh.) So I think I’m seen as the biggest OVERALL threat, even if I’m not very threatening in any individual aspect - kinda like an aspect.

For strategic, I’d probably say Misty. She’s active socially, but comes off super analytical, and she is super strategic, especially in our talks. Hell, we regularly play chess together. (I almost feel the need to channel my inner Nelson Muntz.) Simpsons references - how relevant. (Hey, it’s still on!) And dirt still exists, doesn’t make it modern. (Oh fuck off.) Attached at the hip, bud. Well, brainstem I guess. (Ugh, don’t remind me.)

Socially...probably Bobdawg? (Ayyyyyyyy Dawgsta!) See, my inner self likes him. (And I’m dead inside.) Inception? (Two layers does not an inception make.) That...was that even English? (You tell me.) Regardless, everyone adores Bobdawg. (And rightly so.) Guy is a social BEAST, and it’s like - how can you dislike the guy? It also means no one will take him anything resembling close to the end. Except myself, of course. (Oh really?) Well yeah - I have tons of options, so if I play them right, I can drag him forward as like...literally my only shield. Misty too I guess, to some extent. (God, get out of the fucking spotlight.) This face was made for showbiz, sorry bud.

Physical, for lack of other options, is Aubry. She rocked Oasis, she’ll probs rock Individual challenges. (Not a ton to write here?) Not a ton to right here.

3. Who do you want out next?

For me, I’d like to see Tina out. I think she’s the only one who is outright TARGETING me, and she’s apt to float deep into the game if she isn’t dealt with soon. (Floaters grab their lifevests?) No, that’s stupid. I want them to drown. (Dark.) Yet true. She’s probably not gonna go this round, though. Seems to be between Ibrehim and Aubry at the moment, leaning Aubry. I’m sorta ambivalent between those two.

4. What's your strategy from here on out? Will it differ from how you've played so far?

I’ve been playing more aggressively than I’d like, so I need my shields, which at this point is basically just Misty and Bobdawg. Which is cool, since I like both of them a bunch. (Ahh, an alignment of strategic and personal interests - so nice.) For sure. So I wanna take out the people who are apt to slip by - which would be like Tina, Ibrehim, etcetera. Ideally the ones that aren’t super loyal to me.

So I’m probably gonna go on a bit of a goat slaughter, as horrifying as the idea of second place sounds. (*Shivers*) At this point I just gotta roll with the punches - hence me going for the idol clue in the auction. It’s known I got one idol - why wouldn’t I go for another? (Steer into the snake-y-ness.) Well, slither into it. (BOOOOOO) But yeah, pretty much, kind of like Spencer in Twisted. Except (hopefully) a BIT more nuanced.

I have good positioning within Chikorita at the moment, but I’m gonna need to shift around a bit to make it through the mid-game. Not ENTIRELY sure how I’m planning on doing that, but I have options.

5. Which cast members do you think deserve to make All Stars? Why?

At the moment? I guess myself, Misty, Bobdawg...uhh...Shane? Aubry? Debbie? Honestly there’s a lot of game left to be played, where All Stars will be made or broken.

6. If you had to give yourself a title based on your gameplay until this point, what would it be?

That Selfish Asshole. (Apt.) I can be reflective sometimes, ya’ know. (Not so apt.)

SERIOUSLY? And yes, besides Misty all those away's are, in fact, away. (WE'RE GOING INTO A MERGE VOTE PEOPLE!)

So, a lot of shit has been going down, and it's five hours til deadline. (4:45 as your typing this actually.) Thanks, inner clock. (No problem, outer prick.) And, right now? The vote's a goddamn mess.

So, like, I wanted to work with Ifbith. I was 100% OK with booting Tina over them, and I play the middle - it's kinda my thing - so they were FINE, unless their name was Ibrehem. Since, you know - how should I put it? (He's an inactive piece of shit?) Ahhhh yes, that. Thanks for the reminder. (Anytime, pal.)

Chris actually came up to me - seemingly outta NOWHERE - and was like, hey, we should do me-you-Shane-Misty-Tina-Dawg-Deb. And I was like, sure - Tina's a bit of an odd choice, but I'll survive. And he's really hyping up an Aubry boot for this round, even if he tries to present as Aubry vs. Ibrehem - and Bobdawg was doing the same thing. (Huh, a bit odd, no?) That was MY reaction - why not kick the inactive out right before jury starts? All their arguments we're kinda half-assed "kill two birds with one stones" kind of things, and Debbie wasn't around, as per usual.



Uhhh...OK Chris. (His new title is "Dickbag Extraordinaire.") How apt.

LIKE, WHO DOES THIS? There is an inactive RIGHT. FUCKING. THERE. It's insulting to us, and it's playing with production by being like "Oh, he'll be removed anyway, who cares." How about the viewers lounge? Or the people who are trying to have fun socializing? (Nah, but vote splits, strategy strategy, the numbers, BLOOD ON MY HANDS.) All VASTLY more important than this.

Fuck Chris. We weren't tight, but he and his monosyllabic answers can head right the fuck out of those doors. There's a lot of scrambling going on for the votes right now, and we're not entirely sure who we have, but we're fighting. I have an idol, Jenn got the merge idol, and we all have a metric shit ton of anger - let's fucking go.

Shane is pissing me off. I have no idea if he's with us, and he's barely fucking responding. (And when we call him on it?) I'M SICK. I'M NOT INTO THIS SHIT. Like, sorry dude? I have goddamn pneumonia, I'm still here, trying to figure this out. It's just FRUSTRATING.

Oh, and now he's going to bed with Nyquil. (Perfect.) This fucking game.