little piece of me worried that Jenn's gonna fuck me over lol it would be deserved as fuck

this is a love letter to bob dawg

you are my son, shine
not my only son, shine
you make me happy
when votes are grey
youll never know dear
how much youve pulled me along thru this game when i realy didnt wanna continue
but now im sending my son, shine, to boarding school bc im tired of you and need to live my own life

lol so apparently jenn is voting jerry too which means.... jerry goes and i officially have no shot at winning again and my insane move to take out nick was for nothing WOOHOO!

lol final four?? cut two of my biggest allies back to back??? hoping to cut my last ally ASAP???? who am I

tho TBH I'd rather misty win immunity this round and we vote out useless Jenn and then I swoop in and destroy misty in final immunity and get to decapitate my younger self on my own, kinda poetic yeah? and that way the final juror isn't Jenn LOL how boring would that be.

jerry tells me tonight he loves me

misty tells me if she wins immunity shes probably giving it to me

jenn logs on aim. she doesnt talk, but she logs on

what is happening in this goddamn game

i took 4 xanax and now im abt to do this challenge lets see if this helps or hinders me

i love misty so much i told her stranger things have happened three times today and she used it in her tribal council answer just for me.

im tying the vote with her on jenn. i told her i would before she even asked. that way she will beat jenn in the tiebreaker and move on to f3 with me and jerry. jenn asked to be voted out earlier today. she changed her mind, but its too late for that. you dont waste space in this game for rounds on end only to ask to be voted out at f4 and then randomly change your mind to get out the nicest player in the game. nah. she can go.

f3 of me jerry and misty is a win win win for me because they hate each other and will vote the other out no matter what if they win immunity. i will have lied to jerry again this round but.. guess what.... he would be an IDIOT to take it out on me at f3 bc he would lose to misty so easily. he would have to suck it up and bring me. and misty would bring me for being her ally and helping her stay this round when i could kill her.

and if i win i vote misty out and handily defeat jerry.

<3

it's so weird how I went from pretty much coasting on early Ifbith bc death team controlled everything and the outsiders thoufht I was with them so I was never in any danger.... to being a background presence while the big names tried to plan and scheme and wanted to use me to their advantage... to sliding through until I could get power for myself and make the game go in the direction I wanted it to go. who would've thought Debbie would be in this position.

but hey. stranger things have happened.

Jerry fussed at me but really I'm not pressed. I didn't want Jenn around wasting more space and if it's not me winning id rather it be misty. I don't regret for a minute what I did

UNLESS misty loses the tiebreaker in which case I regret it heavily

I REGRET NOTHING.

since i made the finale and also am making f2, here is my finale montage:

*debbie steps off the helicopter and onto the oasian sands while 212 by azealia banks plays in the background*

debbie: buy e mo tion on itunes!

*sequence of debbie smiling behind her tribemates during their confessionals*

debbie: hello, it's me, debbie wanner trump gates roosevelt maiorano!

*closeup on debbie staring down coach*

debbie: coach has already asked me to look out for him if he looks out for me, so i've basically already won.

*sequence of debbie sitting back in challenges watching her tribe do the work and smiling*

Joanna Ward
Yeah it's the first day people tend to play it safe

Debbie Maiorano
not me I already have my path to victory

Joanna Ward
Just be careful lol, you know what they say, you can't win on day one but you sure can lose on day 1

Debbie Maiorano
I've never heard that who says that

Joanna Ward
I think Rob Cesternino says that

Debbie Maiorano
who

Joanna Ward
Rob Cesternino, 3rd placer of survivor amazon (in a season with a final 2 to clear), once dubbed "Best player to never win" by jeff probst, hosts a podcast about survivor call Rob has a podcast

Debbie Maiorano
never heard of her

Joanna Ward
How long have you been watching?

Debbie Maiorano
watching what
I've been watching my neighbor with my binoculars for about an hour now, but don't worry I'm being paid

Joanna Ward
I meant Survivor

Debbie Maiorano
oh since episode one

*debbie smiles at the camera*

*montage of debbie asking everyone to give her their coins*

Coach: this should be our tribe name!
Debbie: Ifbith
Coach: what about this
Debbie: Ifbith
Sandra: how about this
Debbie: Ifbith
Yul: Ifbith
Death Team: Ifbith

debbie: i'm coming into this game mostly having fun with the experience, but that's not gonna limit me from pulling out my vast strategic chops when need be.

*sequence of debbie doing karate chops overlayed with the term "strategic chops"*

*clip of tribemates saying debbie is silly/weak*

debbie: thats not to say im not still here to play and have fun and also obviously win bc a bitch is gonna win. i know it already. know how? because i already played this season as misty about 60 years ago and i just time traveled back to watch me win again. what a dream.

*montage of debbie asking where nellie is*

debbie: they r gonna idol jenn
the boys: nahhhh
them: *idols jenn*
the boys: damn debbie

yul: last vote.... jenn. it's a tie
nick: DEBBIE WTF
jerry: DEBBIE WTF
misty: DEBBIE U R GENIUS
bob dawg: HI MOM
jenn:
yul: please draw a rock
nick: debbie i am so disappointed in you i cant believe you'd do this
jenn:
yul: nick the tribe has spoken
debbie: *smiling watching him leave* time to flip this shit

*clip of debbie lying to jerry repeatedly and generally causing chaos*

yul: next person voted out... bob dawg
yul: jenn, please bring me your torch
jerry: wtf debbie
misty: debbie <3
debbie: debbie <3
america: debbie <3
brad pitt probably: debbie <3
maya angelou's corpse: debbie <3
god himself: thanks for creating me, debbie <3

debbie: i've got this in the bag, just like the 8 pairs of underwear i stole from goodwill. they had calvin kleins! thats the underwear of winners.

clearly i shouldnt be allowed access to my iphones safari browser when sleep deprived and talking to nellie on aim about spiders and total drama island

well, the final immunity challenge is tonight and it's very critical that i or jerry outperform misty. preferably me, because being the one to take out my former self/biggest jury threat would be #iconic. however, it depends on what the challenge is if i can do well. live challenges are 80% of the time suited towards my victory - in a survivor states game i won, i was basically last place in every challenge except the three live challenges which i won. so, unless its a "do a puzzle the fasted!" or a "spam post and solve this riddle" type challenge, i should have a little but of an edge over someone like misty who needs time to plan her moves and strategies for challenges.

jerry winning would be okay too but i'd just prefer it being me, which is something i had genuinely not cared about all game. i probably have one of the worst challenge track records imaginable at this point. but i've done more with less, so what's stopping me now?

i'd just like to, one last time, apologize to yul and LJ for sucking for a large part of the season. i signed up with the intention of being fun and providing excitement all game, but i wasn't really capable of doing that for several rounds and i am genuinely sorry to have wasted a space in your cast. i tried to make up for it in the last few rounds but i wish i had been able to be that debbie the entire way through. it is partially my laptop's fault for breaking in round two but i could've made the extra effort to type up confessionals on my phone or at least have tried updating more than just voting. ill be a more active PW for season 3 i promise!! :P

and lastlyyyyy thanks to the PWs (mainly nellie) for being such a huge supporter of this random disaster of a human. <3

when the 4 most recent ppl on the board are the f3 and ... Sandra lol