i can't believe i won again. i'm already "a social butterfly" and i keep winning immunities? and my net sucks, worse than most of the people here i garantee it, and my computer almost froze up entirely while doing that running/swimming... there's no excuse for ppl not beating me, in my opinion. but never the less katie refered to me as "a beast". soooo not what i had the intention of being.

i wonder if i've won the most stuff, on an individual level... and yet i don't have an idol to show for it cause someone is a totaly liar. good chance it's dave.

or david, or erinn or kim. none the less i blame it on jen because she already hates me. i actually tried talking to her, with dave there with us, and i just couldn't do it, i ended up just getting annoyed with her again, and vise-versa. to the point that she told me straight out she was going to vote me out so she doesn't have to speak with me anymore.

and dave pretends it's nothing and keeps pushing that i have to vote katie first. it's like, dude, if you can't prove to me that i am not jenn's first target, or second target ATLEAST, and that she doesn't have her whole group (AKA. dave's whole group) on her side, why would i want to knock out somebody who hasn't ever said they want me gone? or not to my face, anyway. i mean i don't trust katie, but it's kind of like not stepping out of the way of a train because you're afraid their MAY be a car coming.


in fact...

igotsomethingonmymind 11:52 pm
i sent you a pm saying i want katie gone
well you work :}

sierra 11:52 pm
ya i saw it, and replied
ya, stupid work :-P

igotsomethingonmymind 11:53 pm
dontya worry about jenn really
she's not that pissed
of course she'd work with youif she hadthat opportunity
i mean if you get on the same tribes

sierra 11:54 pm
really?
but she said straight out she wants to vote me out so she doesn't have to talk to me anymore :-(

igotsomethingonmymind 11:54 pm
wtf no

sierra 11:54 pm
how could i not worry :-P

igotsomethingonmymind 11:54 pm
voting you out?

sierra 11:54 pm
ya

igotsomethingonmymind 11:55 pm
there are plenty more people she wants out lol

sierra 11:55 pm
you were i nthe chat

sierra 11:56 pm
[Georg Dave Dall Cruser, Jenn Lyons and more] (12:48:24 AM):I am going to vote you out just so I never have to speak to you again

igotsomethingonmymind 11:56 pm
haha
i hope she did notmean that for real lol
it doesnt seem so

sierra 11:57 pm
hmmm
well i hope not

igotsomethingonmymind 11:57 pm
we'll see
i hope youre not on the same tribe though xD

sierra 11:57 pm
i asked david to try and keep me away from her if he gets like a tribe captain thing
ya she'll target me first if we are
i guess...

igotsomethingonmymind 11:57 pm
id love david you me on the same tribe

sierra 11:58 pm
if she promises you up and down that she'll vote katie
and IF voting katie doesn't leave her the numbers to get me out next
then i would be okay
but we haven't talked forever, other than fighting that night
so i really dont have any reason to trust her and every reason to think she is after me, ya know?
i would like that tribe too!

igotsomethingonmymind 11:59 pm
yeah
i understand
it just sucks to be me xDD

sierra 11:59 pm
ya i kno,w sorry

igotsomethingonmymind 11:59 pm
np :P h

sierra 12:00 am
i feel the same
i
'm like not able to like...
talk to anyone on her side except you
because i know they'll all just be coming after me
and ur probably going to have to choose one of us at some point

igotsomethingonmymind 12:00 am
yeah i know

sierra 12:00 am
and since you've been around her longer

igotsomethingonmymind 12:00 am
i think im pretty much decided

sierra 12:00 am
i dont know that that would be me :-P
especially if you stay on her tribe without me for a long time :-\

igotsomethingonmymind 12:01 am
hey it cannot be for a long time in no way
since merge is at 12
probs

sierra 12:01 am
ya i guess ur right :-P
it's gonna like final 14 soon right?

igotsomethingonmymind 12:02 am
plus we were in separate tribes last time and managed to stay together :) h

igotsomethingonmymind 12:02 am
yup

sierra 12:02 am
well good
cause i'll be pretty well screwed if you choose her :-P

igotsomethingonmymind 12:03 am
haha
i thought you had plenty more allies :P h

sierra 12:03 am
only ppl i've just recently gotten in with
so i cant honestly expect to be anything but on the bottom

igotsomethingonmymind 12:03 am
yeah

sierra 12:04 am
i wish jenn had trusted me when we made an alliance together

sierra 12:04 am
apparently i was always crazy so she never wanted to tell me anything or be honest

igotsomethingonmymind 12:04 am
:/ h

sierra 12:04 am
and i really don't know what i ever did, i mean before fighting with her
to make her think i am a pyscho or whatever :-(

igotsomethingonmymind 12:05 am
she's the only one who thinks that

sierra 12:06 am
that is good
it'd probly help if i talked to some of ur other allies
sometime
i feel like... your whole side would be against me
just cause she is

igotsomethingonmymind 12:06 am
my other allies?
xD

sierra 12:07 am
and that's probly just in my head :-P
well like the other ppl on ur tribe

igotsomethingonmymind 12:07 am
ugh i hate that people think that :( h
we arent really aligned

sierra 12:07 am
or the people who are with jenn and you, you know, like charlie and stuff
i've never talked to penner or charlie or any of them
so that'd probly be a good idea for me :-P

igotsomethingonmymind 12:07 am
we just happened to share the enemies :P h

sierra 12:08 am
i dont know if ppl think that
just the way jenn was originally talking abt it makes ME think that :-P

igotsomethingonmymind 12:09 am
yeah, she's REALLY close with them

sierra 12:09 am
in her own words, "she controls them"
and "it's actually really easy"
LMAO
sorry lol that's my favorite thing she said so far :-P

igotsomethingonmymind 12:10 am
looool

sierra 12:11 am
if she does do what i expect and just automatically targets me
can u let me know?

igotsomethingonmymind 12:11 am
absolutely
i cannot afford to lose you
so calmdown, youll know

sierra 12:13 am
thanks
oh i hope i dont seem super paranoid or anything

sierra 12:13 am
jus tbeing safe :-)

igotsomethingonmymind 12:13 am
;) h its cool

sierra 12:15 am
thanks for feeling liek you cant afford to lose me!
it's nice when the feeling is mutual
lmao!

igotsomethingonmymind 12:15 am
haha :D h
its time for me to go now

igotsomethingonmymind 12:15 am
getting pretty early

sierra 12:15 am
may i ask, are you still solid with david?

igotsomethingonmymind 12:15 am
yeah we are

sierra 12:15 am
cause i like him and you
that's what i want

igotsomethingonmymind 12:16 am
i mean

sierra 12:16 am
good good

igotsomethingonmymind 12:16 am
i dont talk to him as much as i talk to you
and i dont tell him what you tell me

sierra 12:16 am
oh sorry i missed ur message abt having to go :-P

igotsomethingonmymind 12:16 am
lol

sierra 12:16 am
oh i know
i just mean, glad you like him :-)

igotsomethingonmymind 12:16 am
i gotta clear some things uup
and now
I GO :D h
see ya tomorrow ;**

sierra 12:17 am
thanks for the chat
yep have a good sleep!
:-)

igotsomethingonmymind 12:17 am
thank you too

it's a weird situation... i'm not with any of his group, atleast some of his group is vehemently against me, i'm almost 100% he won't vote against his group, even those who are against me, i'm also pretty certain he's been helping them out with things like idols and stuff to my disadvantage, and yet i can't stop atleast sort of pretending to work with him, and actually beyond pretending because i really am working with him to a degree.

and it sucks. but my other alternative is to just shut it down like i did already with jenn and you can only burn so many bridges before you're just surrounded by fire.


i wish i had kept my cool with jenn. having her not trust me, be leery of me, not tell me the truth, and walk me slowly into the execution chamber would be better than going straight to the firing squad. and if our tribes get mixed up again and david cannot or just simply does not keep me away from jenn then there's a very good chance i'll be dead before merge.

or she'll be dead.


one of us will be dead.

wow jay just said hi on AIM to me...

i guess i will engage him in a conversation and see how it goes. if he is eliminated i won't have to vote him after this meeting him, so really it can only be a positive thing for me.

if he stays, i'll keep talking to him.


*imagines penner leaving instead of david or jay...* omg i wish. but that's not going to happen. but oh my god i wish!!!!