this is meant for just what it says... i am bored, i am wanting to write a confessional...

have nothing to say :(

like i said... this thread will be for ME.

MY fun. not yours. MINE!

and with that... enter the crazy poetry phase. lmao! literally i NEED to have atleast one of my psycho poems in here before i die, so i'll do one now, maybe even two, we'll see how i feel. and then even if i get blind-sided in round two... i will have had some infinitely small amount of fun :)

this probably won't be very good, considering i am writing it on the spot. but read it or don't read it, totally your choice. boredom only beckons me, afterall. if you let me beckon you into my own boredom... well then you are just silly.

:)





"there's bugs everywhere"

have you ever set an ant down in some sugar?
and watched it's reaction?
it's like an insect getting high
they stand up on their hind legs and sort of start dancing
i'm not even kidding
you should try it sometime

stupid stone sober insects

it's like there's bugs everywhere
but on a different note...

you should never start a conversation by saying "goodbye"
so for this one i will end with "you should fuck off and die"

it's like there's bugs everywhere
there's bugs fucking everywhere!

and there's one little bug i keep seeing crawl by
it's the same little bug taking the same little line
it reaches the same point then disappears everytime
then i see it crawl by again just a few seconds later

i'm so fucking stone sober

there's no better anchor
there's no better anchor
there's no better anchor than irrational anger

there's no better halucinatory substance than delusion

and there's really realistic looking bugs fucking everywhere!
there's giant fucking bugs everywhere!
there's bugs fucking everywhere!

you should never go backwards before you start off
but for this one i'm going to jerk off while it's soft

you should never say anything that begins with the point
or ever gets to the point, or even has a fucking point

there's goddamn blood red anger painted everywhere

and i know in a linear timeline i'm still young
but there's only so much you really can come back from

you should never start off with me by saying "goodbye"
and so for that you and all these fucking bugs can fuck off and die

wow... can you tell i have a bit of annoyance in me at the moment?

let me do one more, one that i have already written most of... just to calm down... before i take a beautiful, deep... loooooong sleep :)

and then i shall wake up sometime tomorrow afternoon with what i hope will be a smile on my face :)

by the way this one actually has to do with the way i usually play... or well, the way i usually feel at the end of a game i play, to be precise.

so in that way it actually does kind of... KIND of... belong here.

barely.


story of my life.





apology tree

for a little, fleeting moment
somewhere out in space
i lost myself again
in some foreign place
for a tiny, waning moment
somewhere in the stars
i forgot what i am now
and i forgot what you still are

well, i just had myself a real blast
as much of a laugh as the ocean is vast
i went a bit crazy or a little bit past
and i kind of made myself into an ass

i tend to spend my days a little too fast
and i have displayed that in exceptional mass
at this stage i'd say i'd be as opaque as glass

but i am amazed for what i've been cast
still i've had no faith that i would last

my mistakes are what complicate you
your distaste is what makes me hate you
wasteful behavior makes you play through
and you will leave me behind again

i am strange and so i'll obey you
then by accident betray you
or just simply alienate you
while i'm leaving myself behind again

there's just something self destructive in me
and something about this seems to set this something free
and i could not get far enough away
to shut this thing up for just one more day
so what the fuck am i supposed to say?
i'm sorry? i'm sorry. i'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

well, yesterday i was having a great time
and i must say i felt an innate state of sublime
it was all congregating into a straight line
and things were just right ("rate") fine...

...yeah, things were fine

but i somehow seem to have this unflinching grip
that just tightens over anything i can clench in my fist
and just squeezes like a motherfucker till the fucking thing rips
with the tendons in my wrist it just splits
and then it's gone
and they're gone

and all that's wrong is really interrelated
gravitating around my dilated pupils
and it's not been long since this was predated
hell, i did it on our first fucking date to be truthful

you all should kind have just predicted from day one
i'm kind of just as much a dick as i play one

there's really no big difference between a prick and an a-hole
if i may say so

and i say so

i say a lot of weird shit 'cause i'm crazy

i am strange and so i'll obey you
then by "accident" i'll betray you
or just simply alienate you
while i'm leaving myself behind again

there's just something self destructive in me
and something about this seems to set this something free
and i just could not get far enough away
to shut this thing up for just one more day
so what the fuck am i supposed to say?
i'm sorry? i'm sorry. it's an "i'm sorry" spree.

yesterday i planted, and i watered the seed
and tomorrow i'll grow a great big amazing apology tree

.. is it weird in here? or is it just me?


:duh: