i am as scared as always, even being seemingly in no danger. i think i feel more nervous when i haven't heard that i'm in danger, to be honest, because of my dear sweet friend paranoia.

i feel like the girls should vote me. eventually, i think... i am going to break down and either decide forever that i will not vote them at any cost, or just go ahead and get it over with and get them out. so that is just a volatile situation that it would beb est to avoid. and therefore i could very well be the vote and if that were the case, the best way to do it would be to never let me know.

:/

in my mind, my screwy overactive mind, we are both up to something, talking to eachother and trying to appease as eachother as we work out some... silly plan.

silly on my end, atleast...

the thing is, if he does have something up his sleeve, I.E. if he got an idol in order to take one of us out over here, which i still admit is far fetched but you never know... if he is up to something, he really has no reason to feel bad about it.

i, on the other hand, have a good reason to feel terrible about what i am up to.


Tate Yuuchi 8:39 pm
back :) h

sierra 8:40 pm
back
sorta
i'm on and off at the moment :-P

Tate Yuuchi 8:41 pm
welcome back hun :) h
haha yeah dishes :-/ h

sierra 8:41 pm
it's so fun
you have no idea :-P

Tate Yuuchi 8:42 pm
Haha yeah I am singing when I am doing it :-P h
or making bubbles
:D h
lol






if he in fact is that innocent, and in fact likes me as much as he is saying he does, out of the blue, without even knowing me... and if he is in fact as depressed from his day yesterday, finding out about... well, that's personal, but having to say an important goodbye, to sum it up...

then i am the worst person ever for doing what i am doing. especially since it isn't necessarily needed.




and no one knows, yet, except for jay. i told becky that i think aras is more on the side of voting jay, and the only way i could save jay was by using an idol on him, and that i am not sure that is worth it... i'd be more inclined if it was beckky that was being targetted...

and then just now i let becky know i am pretty sure i'm voting jay, just wondering what she'll do in that case, if she'd vote jay too or vote someone like kim.



i feel like complete crap. and this is going to not be good... it's almost best if i don't stick around after this.

literally i am the worst. he is going to feel like... what was the point? just vote him out, don't fuck with his emotions and shit too...


but to me, it feels like i have to, like if i dont try to make sure i am covering my bases then i am asking for it.

like the title says...

Tate Yuuchi (2:46:39 PM): I want to ask...if I am going this round
Tate Yuuchi (2:46:46 PM): You can be completely honest with me :)
sierra (2:47:27 PM): i am thinking of whether or not to keep you safe
sierra (2:47:39 PM): and vote out kim
Tate Yuuchi (2:47:49 PM): Awww thank youuuu <3
Tate Yuuchi (2:47:55 PM): Thanks for hope <3
Tate Yuuchi (2:48:07 PM): What can I do for safetly?
sierra (2:48:25 PM): well i have a plan but you just need to give me a few minutes
sierra (2:48:32 PM): i need to be sure before i open my mouth
Tate Yuuchi (2:48:59 PM): As I said you can trust me and you can be honets with me. Everything what you said to me is just between us :)
Tate Yuuchi (2:49:06 PM): And I can help you with everything
sierra (2:52:12 PM): do u know if becky is loyal to dave 100%?
Tate Yuuchi (2:52:41 PM): I really dont know but I know that she was 100% loyal to charlie
Tate Yuuchi (2:52:55 PM): I dont know about Dave honestly but I can ask her if she will be here
sierra (2:57:34 PM): k well...
sierra (2:57:38 PM): i'll keep you safe
sierra (2:57:44 PM): immune
sierra (2:57:51 PM): but i dont want to be the one responsible for voting kim out
Tate Yuuchi (2:58:04 PM): Ok just tell me what to do :)
sierra (2:58:09 PM): just vote kim i guess
Tate Yuuchi (2:58:57 PM): OMG Michael :( I LOVE YOU! Thank you so much. You will not regret!! I am and I still will be loyal just to you!
sierra (2:59:38 PM): i can either give you an idol to use
sierra (2:59:42 PM): and i could vote you
sierra (2:59:48 PM): and keep the blood off my hands entirely
sierra (2:59:50 PM): ...
sierra (2:59:59 PM): or i can take responsibility and use the idol on you and vote kim myself
sierra (3:00:05 PM): which would be better
sierra (3:00:09 PM): for the end game :-\
Tate Yuuchi (3:00:37 PM): If you will give me idol. And you will be in end. I will say that you gived me that idol
Tate Yuuchi (3:00:52 PM): So they will see you did moves!
Tate Yuuchi (3:00:56 PM): And you are great player
sierra (3:02:04 PM): hmmmmm...
Tate Yuuchi (3:02:27 PM): Do what you think can be better for you
sierra (3:02:40 PM): it's just
sierra (3:02:43 PM): this idol thing
sierra (3:02:50 PM): is putting a huge target on my back
sierra (3:02:54 PM): if i use it myself
sierra (3:02:58 PM): everyone will know that it's gone
sierra (3:03:05 PM): and maybe tat target will go away, a know?
Tate Yuuchi (3:03:37 PM): Yeah I understand to you! You are not my target with idol or without idol :-P
Tate Yuuchi (3:04:10 PM): I just...
Tate Yuuchi (3:04:13 PM): Michael
Tate Yuuchi (3:04:24 PM): I really likes you most from the people here
Tate Yuuchi (3:04:32 PM): and I will be always with you
sierra (3:04:33 PM): well thank you
Tate Yuuchi (3:04:41 PM): No no..
Tate Yuuchi (3:04:48 PM): I thank you that I find someone like you
sierra (3:06:02 PM): :-)
sierra (3:06:08 PM): i dont think we should tell anyone tho
sierra (3:06:10 PM): like not even becky
Tate Yuuchi (3:06:19 PM): Ok I will not tell her
sierra (3:06:19 PM): cause if word gets out that i'm using it on you
sierra (3:06:23 PM): and i'm no longer "immune"
sierra (3:06:30 PM): i dont want ppl jumping at the chance to vote me
Tate Yuuchi (3:06:32 PM): Yes I understand to you
Tate Yuuchi (3:07:00 PM): I will not tell to noone you can trust me as I said :-P So pleas just trust me! :)
sierra (3:07:55 PM): i do :-)
Tate Yuuchi (3:07:58 PM): and you told it to Aras? :)
Tate Yuuchi (3:08:11 PM): Thank you for trusting me I iwll not disappointed you in this
sierra (3:09:29 PM): no i didn't tell aras
sierra (3:09:42 PM): it's gonna be a surprise for everyone
sierra (3:10:00 PM): i probly should tell aras actually
Tate Yuuchi (3:10:11 PM): Waau THANK YOU! Omg I dont know what to say I am gonna cry again haha <3
sierra (3:10:16 PM): buti dont wanna risk him not agreeing with my plan
sierra (3:10:19 PM): and then he'd know it
sierra (3:10:22 PM): and not want to do it
sierra (3:10:27 PM): and that could be bad obviously :-P
Tate Yuuchi (3:10:37 PM): Yeah I understand
Tate Yuuchi (3:10:49 PM): Remember yetsterday when we were talking?
sierra (3:10:54 PM): well dotn cry
sierra (3:10:58 PM): yep
Tate Yuuchi (3:11:41 PM): and I said this-
Tate Yuuchi (3:11:47 PM):
me-
Yes today was very emotional day and I just really dont cae about this challenge right now
Tate Yuuchi (3:12:34 PM): I really cared about the challenge I just...maybe I just forgot to double check my time because yetserday was really horrible for me..and I odnt know...
sierra (3:15:08 PM): what happened yesterday?
Tate Yuuchi (3:15:41 PM): Umm IDK if it is good idea to tell you because you will think that I am lying just for my safetly :-P
sierra (3:17:22 PM): oh
sierra (3:17:24 PM): ...
sierra (3:17:33 PM): i dont htink you have to worry abt that
sierra (3:17:41 PM): i just put my vote in and used the idol on you
sierra (3:17:46 PM): what's done is done
Tate Yuuchi (3:17:55 PM): Well ok then
Tate Yuuchi (3:18:06 PM): My best friend
Tate Yuuchi (3:18:11 PM): is going to work on austria
Tate Yuuchi (3:18:24 PM): And we dont know if we will see each other again
sierra (3:18:28 PM): awwwwwww
sierra (3:18:33 PM): that is terrible when that happens
sierra (3:18:42 PM): well that makes sense why ur midn wasn't into the game!
Tate Yuuchi (3:18:44 PM): I am just.. Oh I know that it is good for him but it is really hard to say goodbye
sierra (3:18:44 PM): i'm sorry :-(
sierra (3:18:55 PM): yeah i know what u mean
sierra (3:19:05 PM): i've moved across canada few different times
sierra (3:19:08 PM): a loto f different places
sierra (3:19:13 PM): and said a lot of goodbyes
sierra (3:19:14 PM): it sucks
Tate Yuuchi (3:19:39 PM): I was thinking about it today too We just had a greta time together everytime and now..he will just leave :( Oh argh thats just really sad
Tate Yuuchi (3:19:51 PM): Yea so you know what I mean. You always understand to me <3
Tate Yuuchi (3:20:27 PM): And I am sorry for your friends too. It is really hard to say goodbye yeah
sierra (3:20:46 PM): i gotused to it over awhile
sierra (3:20:49 PM): or well more used to it
sierra (3:21:10 PM): ...omg
sierra (3:21:19 PM): the girls are gonna be soooo mad at me :-\
Tate Yuuchi (3:21:25 PM): Haaha stop because we will be crying together here !
sierra (3:21:27 PM): sorry, sorry to change the subject
sierra (3:21:41 PM): i wish there was something i could do to help you say goodbye :-(
sierra (3:22:03 PM): btw
Tate Yuuchi (3:22:08 PM): You cant help me. I will never forgot about him and about time what we had together
sierra (3:22:08 PM): i didn't have the idol before
sierra (3:22:21 PM): i got it this round with myn ew clues
Tate Yuuchi (3:22:23 PM): Oh really? O_o
sierra (3:22:26 PM): and am already ditching it :-P
Tate Yuuchi (3:22:30 PM): OMG you are awesome!
sierra (3:22:42 PM): i was just worried it was going to be me last round
sierra (3:22:47 PM): so i said i had one and was gonna use it etc
sierra (3:22:49 PM): sorry abt that
Tate Yuuchi (3:22:49 PM): Because of me. You are really bets perosn what I meet here! THANK YOU!
sierra (3:23:01 PM): well tb
sierra (3:23:03 PM): tbh
Tate Yuuchi (3:23:06 PM): It is ok. It was your strategy and it was good strategy!
sierra (3:23:07 PM): if i hold onto it
sierra (3:23:11 PM): it's going to get me voted out
sierra (3:23:16 PM): so... it does me no good at this point :-P
Tate Yuuchi (3:23:30 PM): what mean tbh? :D
sierra (3:26:16 PM): well everyone suspects that i have one
sierra (3:26:29 PM): so it's just going to make them vote me out to flush out the idol if i do have it
sierra (3:26:39 PM): so it's best to just show everyone it's gone :-)
Tate Yuuchi (3:27:02 PM): I understand what you mean.
Tate Yuuchi (3:27:15 PM): So you will use it on me? O_o
Tate Yuuchi (3:27:19 PM): Really? :-O
sierra (3:30:34 PM): yeah i already did
Tate Yuuchi (3:30:44 PM): Michael :(
Tate Yuuchi (3:30:51 PM): Noone did it for me in this games
Tate Yuuchi (3:30:54 PM): It is like
Tate Yuuchi (3:30:58 PM): WAU for me
Tate Yuuchi (3:31:03 PM): OMG
Tate Yuuchi (3:31:18 PM): I just love you really :D
sierra (3:31:26 PM): no one has used an idol on you?
Tate Yuuchi (3:31:37 PM): Hahaha noone :D
sierra (3:31:42 PM): ever? really?!
Tate Yuuchi (3:32:06 PM): Really only me on myself thats all :D
sierra (3:32:28 PM): wow
sierra (3:32:34 PM): i've had a couple used on me
sierra (3:32:42 PM): tbh i rarely use my own idols on myself
sierra (3:32:54 PM): i usually use them on others because it's more strategic
sierra (3:33:04 PM): use them to do a big game move and gain allies :-)
Tate Yuuchi (3:33:12 PM): Wau thats really very nice from you
Tate Yuuchi (3:33:22 PM): OMG you will be in my history of this games!
Tate Yuuchi (3:33:24 PM): Haha
Tate Yuuchi (3:33:26 PM): <3
sierra (3:34:11 PM): i kind of hinted at it to becky, too
sierra (3:34:18 PM): but then i said i am not sure if i should
sierra (3:34:22 PM): and asked what she thinks
sierra (3:34:28 PM): i dont know if i want her to know or not
sierra (3:34:37 PM): so... i'm not oging to tell her for sure, one way or the other
sierra (3:34:39 PM): i hope that's okay
Tate Yuuchi (3:34:43 PM): Yes we dont know if she is with Dave or not
sierra (3:34:44 PM): she knows there's a chance :-P
Tate Yuuchi (3:34:49 PM): I mena if she trust him 100%
sierra (3:34:58 PM): ya, i know
Tate Yuuchi (3:35:46 PM): Sierra I am like really dancing now you make smile on my face today! I am so THANK YOU
sierra (3:37:02 PM): awwwwww
sierra (3:37:10 PM): just dont make me regret it :-P
Tate Yuuchi (3:37:27 PM): YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!
Tate Yuuchi (3:37:35 PM): I swear
Tate Yuuchi (3:37:45 PM): I know that this is survivor and it is hard to trust to someone
sierra (3:37:55 PM): here
sierra (3:37:58 PM): i'm gonna give you something
sierra (3:38:04 PM): but make sure no one ever sees it :-)
Tate Yuuchi (3:38:14 PM): Yes never ! Noone! :)
sierra (3:38:42 PM): wait
sierra (3:38:48 PM): i have to see if this is against the rules or not first :-P
sierra (3:38:51 PM): give me a sec
Tate Yuuchi (3:38:57 PM): okay :)
sierra (3:40:17 PM): it's all good
sierra (3:40:21 PM): k let me upload the pic
sierra (3:40:24 PM): BY THE WAY
sierra (3:40:28 PM): while i was reading the rules just now
sierra (3:40:30 PM): i saw this:
sierra (3:40:38 PM): 6. Inactivity won't be tolerated. In this series, confessionals and challenge performance are MANDATORY( at a minimal level, you just cant do absolutely nothing). You must write a confessional at least once per round. Telling the hosts about what going on in the game on AIM does not count in place of a confessional. At minimum, confessionals must be 1-2 sentences for the round. They can be as simple as "I am voting Joe out because he is an asshole". Doing the bare minimum just to avoid getting a strike though will be noticed and you won't receive all-stars placing with minimal confessionals, even if you win the game.

Challenge performance is mandatory in that you at least must do something, even if its very little. This is only for immunity challenges. Not participating at all in a challenge will give you a strike. If you intend to throw a challenge for a strategic reason, you still need to do something.
sierra (3:40:45 PM): i'm going to bring that up too the hosts :-P
sierra (3:41:00 PM): see if they'll strike anthony and jenn some :-P

Tate Yuuchi (3:41:14 PM): Yes And jenn wasnt here looong time
Tate Yuuchi (3:41:25 PM): But I think that we will still be in tribal :(
sierra (3:41:43 PM): oh yeah we will
sierra (3:41:57 PM): but i'm gonna remind them of their own rules anyway
sierra (3:42:00 PM): just for the fun of it :-P
Tate Yuuchi (3:42:24 PM): Yes I agree! :) Inactives dont deserve to be here
sierra (3:42:26 PM):
sierra (3:42:30 PM): oops
sierra (3:42:38 PM): http://i.imgur.com/NucGalT.png
sierra (3:42:40 PM): there ya go
Tate Yuuchi (3:43:49 PM): AWWWWWWW <3 I will never forget it!
Tate Yuuchi (3:45:05 PM): btw. what was corretc clue if I can ask
sierra (3:48:14 PM): would u tell anyone?
Tate Yuuchi (3:48:37 PM): Nope :)
sierra (3:51:51 PM): well no, the clue i got from dave was incorrect. the real clues were: "a thing, 8 letters, starts with a G, is a mineral, and found in greenland"
sierra (3:51:55 PM): so yeah, dave lied
sierra (3:51:55 PM): :-P
sierra (3:52:02 PM): i gotta be back i na few, my dad just got home
sierra (3:52:03 PM): ttys!
Tate Yuuchi (3:53:13 PM): Oh O_o damn with DAVE!
Tate Yuuchi (4:07:16 PM): Hun I will be here later <3 see ya
sierra (4:24:24 PM): i'll be on later as well :-)
sierra (4:24:29 PM): talk to you then :-)
sierra (7:53:10 PM): hey i like ur new aim pic
Tate Yuuchi (7:53:20 PM): Heyyyy <3
Tate Yuuchi (7:53:23 PM): Thank youu
Tate Yuuchi (7:53:29 PM): You know who is it? :-P
sierra (7:54:56 PM): the girl from Xmen
sierra (7:55:00 PM): forget her name...
sierra (7:55:03 PM): storm?
Tate Yuuchi (7:55:14 PM): Haha yea it is girl from x-men
Tate Yuuchi (7:55:16 PM): Rogue :)
sierra (7:55:27 PM): ph ya rogue
sierra (7:55:28 PM): lol
sierra (7:55:35 PM): been a long time since i seen it :-P
Tate Yuuchi (7:55:52 PM): Really? haha I love x-men :-P
sierra (7:56:17 PM): :-)
Tate Yuuchi (7:56:45 PM): So how are you Michael? :-P
sierra (7:56:57 PM): i'm all right
sierra (7:57:02 PM): have to do dishes in a few :-(
sierra (7:57:06 PM): fun friday lol
sierra (7:57:13 PM): how r u?
Tate Yuuchi (7:57:49 PM): I am fine :) Just talking with mum all day :) Now she is totally tired and she is sleeping here..or maybe... she is not sleeping she just dont want tlak with me lol :D
sierra (7:58:46 PM): lol
sierra (7:58:54 PM): i am tired too :-P
Tate Yuuchi (7:58:58 PM): Because I am very talkative my mouth just cant stop :D
sierra (7:59:11 PM): that sounds like me lol
Tate Yuuchi (7:59:34 PM): Haha yeah I told you already that in real life we should be really good friends :-P
Tate Yuuchi (7:59:40 PM): If we know each other lol
sierra (8:00:21 PM): hopefully :-)
sierra (8:00:31 PM): i'm still nervous abt this TC
sierra (8:00:38 PM): btw i told becky i think the vote is for you
sierra (8:00:42 PM): just... keeping it hush hush
sierra (8:00:48 PM): it doesn't matter if she thinks the vote is for you
Tate Yuuchi (8:01:13 PM): Yeah I told her too that I think the votes will be for me
sierra (8:01:16 PM): our two votes are enough regardless, but i asked her if she'd vote you or do someone else
sierra (8:01:27 PM): k well we'll see how it goes
sierra (8:01:33 PM): god i hope ppl aren't actually voting me =-O
Tate Yuuchi (8:01:49 PM): Katie told me that she is very sorry but she is voting me
Tate Yuuchi (8:01:55 PM): I told her that I understand
sierra (8:02:16 PM): well that's nice of her to be honest
Tate Yuuchi (8:02:29 PM): Haha yeah I understand :)
sierra (8:02:46 PM): gotta love the honest ppl in the game
Tate Yuuchi (8:02:47 PM): I just really cant believe that someone is using idol on me
sierra (8:02:49 PM): katie is good that way
sierra (8:02:56 PM): it's easy to see what she's up to
Tate Yuuchi (8:02:58 PM): Yes I agree :)
sierra (8:02:59 PM): she is against dave
sierra (8:03:04 PM): and doesn't hide abt her opinions :-)
Tate Yuuchi (8:03:11 PM): yes she told me this too :_D
sierra (8:03:21 PM): and what you see is what you get
sierra (8:03:24 PM): hehehe
Tate Yuuchi (8:03:36 PM): <3
Tate Yuuchi (8:03:39 PM): Michael
Tate Yuuchi (8:03:46 PM): I cant believe that you dont have girlfriend
Tate Yuuchi (8:03:55 PM): You are just awesome person
sierra (8:04:06 PM): you are too nice
sierra (8:04:07 PM): :-P
Tate Yuuchi (8:04:43 PM): haha thank you <3 but I still cant find noone :(
sierra (8:04:58 PM): well we both will eventually
sierra (8:05:01 PM): when it's time
sierra (8:05:09 PM): ur still young
sierra (8:05:12 PM): you have LOTS of time
Tate Yuuchi (8:05:15 PM): :) Maybe in same time lol :-P
Tate Yuuchi (8:05:26 PM): Thank you. But I am like...weird in this think
Tate Yuuchi (8:05:40 PM): because I want just 1 person... and now! :D
Tate Yuuchi (8:05:52 PM): forever
sierra (8:07:15 PM): awwwww
sierra (8:07:18 PM): you're a romantic :-)
Tate Yuuchi (8:07:54 PM): Wau you are first one who said that haha <3
sierra (8:10:15 PM): really?
sierra (8:10:21 PM): well there you go!
sierra (8:10:21 PM): brb
Tate Yuuchi (8:10:36 PM): yes
Tate Yuuchi (8:10:39 PM): okay :)
Tate Yuuchi (8:28:39 PM): brb too :)
Tate Yuuchi (8:39:58 PM): back :)
sierra (8:40:54 PM): back
sierra (8:40:56 PM): sorta
sierra (8:41:00 PM): i'm on and off at the moment :-P
Tate Yuuchi (8:41:03 PM): welcome back hun :)
Tate Yuuchi (8:41:15 PM): haha yeah dishes :-/
sierra (8:41:43 PM): it's so fun
sierra (8:41:47 PM): you have no idea :-P
Tate Yuuchi (8:42:04 PM): Haha yeah I am singing when I am doing it :-P
Tate Yuuchi (8:42:15 PM): or making bubbles
Tate Yuuchi (8:42:16 PM): :D
Tate Yuuchi (8:42:17 PM): lol
sierra (8:47:01 PM): lmao
sierra (8:47:07 PM): making bubbles?
Tate Yuuchi (8:47:15 PM): lol yeah
Tate Yuuchi (8:50:28 PM): what was you doing today? :-P
sierra (8:50:48 PM): i worked for awhile
sierra (8:50:53 PM): then went and delivered furniture
sierra (8:51:01 PM): got paid, just barely made it to the bank on time
sierra (8:51:03 PM): lol, you?
Tate Yuuchi (8:51:39 PM): ou are going to bank very often lol
Tate Yuuchi (8:52:09 PM): I was just writting with my bets friend then talking with mum, then was shopping,, then again talked with mum
Tate Yuuchi (8:52:11 PM): haha
sierra (8:53:57 PM): sounds like fun
sierra (8:53:59 PM): :-)
sierra (8:54:15 PM): funenr than my day anyway
Tate Yuuchi (8:54:42 PM): Yes I love talking with mum (and drinking coffee lol) she can give me positive energy every day :)
Tate Yuuchi (8:55:04 PM): what means funenr?
sierra (8:56:09 PM): oops
sierra (8:56:16 PM): that was supposed to be funner
sierra (8:56:21 PM): more fun than my day :-P
sierra (8:56:25 PM): lol sorry abt that
Tate Yuuchi (8:56:39 PM): it is okay :-P Haha
Tate Yuuchi (8:56:53 PM): Well your day is not over yet :-P
sierra (8:58:30 PM): no it's not
sierra (8:58:33 PM): results are still coming
sierra (8:58:36 PM): and i am soooo nervous
sierra (8:58:47 PM): i should have just used it on myself :-P
Tate Yuuchi (8:59:53 PM): Haha omg
Tate Yuuchi (9:00:05 PM): result ar ealready on?
Tate Yuuchi (9:00:39 PM): I am so nervous Michael :(
sierra (9:01:02 PM): no
sierra (9:01:14 PM): not till 10: est
sierra (9:01:16 PM): i have to brb
sierra (9:01:20 PM): gotta eat fries
sierra (9:01:23 PM): ttys
Tate Yuuchi (9:01:28 PM): So hoew much hours left?
sierra (9:01:31 PM): 2 hours
sierra (9:01:35 PM): and you dont need to be nervous
sierra (9:01:36 PM): i do :-P
sierra (9:01:38 PM): brb
Tate Yuuchi (9:01:51 PM): Haha okay thank you again for idol <3 I will not forgot it!
Tate Yuuchi (9:02:03 PM): Ttyl byeee <3
sierra (9:12:11 PM): no worries hun
sierra (9:12:21 PM): stick with me and we'll be awesome
sierra (9:12:25 PM): i will be back in an hour or so

and that was me talking to him, making him feel like i was his everything, just about right up until the moment we would find out differently. and after the news he got yesterday, this could break his little heart.

i really really hope he didn't truly feel i was his everything. because my paranoia will always be my everything... and everyone around me just causes it.






and now to explain to people why he will be so upset and hurt by me. i took it upon myself to make sure he did not use some random idol given to him by someone who wanted us out. it was the only possible way our plan could go wrong so i did what i felt i had to, to make sure we were safe. even though it proved unnecessary, you can count on me to always be looking at every possible angle so that we hopefully will not be caught off gaurd.


or something.


while i bury my head in shame. :(