"Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays!" he said to me.

His name was Curtis and he was wearing this awful-looking black tophat and a leather jacket that clearly hadn't fit him in over five years. His hair was the exact color of the cheese puffs he was shoveling into his mouth. While he ate the cheese puffs he reached over trying to grab the remote before a sound began to form in his lower intestines. "Oh shit," he shouted, "I"m about to queef!"