I've met someone I knew online in person

Not only have i met someone i knew online but i FUCKED her, suck on that bitches.

I am registered to a political party

I am a registered Demorat, gay rights, abortions for all, blah blah all that.

I've been kicked out of a public building

Im honestly shocked this has never happened to me before

I have owned Pokemon cards

I think i just missed the boat on this fad

I can lick my own nose

No, but my tongue can do all sorts of other fancy tricks, eh Rose?

Something on my body really hurts right now

Sheeet, im fine and dandy like sour candy

I have smoked a cigarette

Tried it once, gross as fuck

I have won a contest

I won the 5th grade geography bee or in Matt's case the geography bee Matt hopes to compete in next year

I've stayed awake for over 48 hours before

35 in a posting challenge once, but never 48

I wish I lived in a different country

FUCK THE REST OF THE WORLD!!! USA USA USA