Malions Pokemon FE inspired me to look for other games to play starring the good folk here at FE.

Crusader Kings 2 is an immensely nerdy game where you play as a medieval ruler and try to make a name for your family over several generations.

The game offers plenty of customization and tons of interesting stories can arise out of playing. I figure this game is asking for an FE style adventure, so here it is!



In 1066, The Kingdom of England was embroiled in war.



Edward the Confessor died in 1065, naming Harold Godwinson the protector of the realm. But there was some very naughty people who didn't like this one bit. Harald Hardrada, some douche from Norway, totally wanted the throne. So did William The Bastard from France.

This led to a war between the three kings. Harald invaded the North of England in 1066, whilst William sailed across the channel in the south. Harold beat the Norwegians at Stamford Bridge, but the victory was short lived. Word reached him that William had landed in the south with a large host, and planned to crown himself king in London. He rushed his army south, and met William in battle. But his army was beaten by the uncool tactic of pretending to retreat. Harold got an arrow in the eye for his trouble and the game was over.

With no opponents left, William became King, and was nicknamed "The Conqueror."

Then he died in a yachting accident. Without producing an heir. Who would rule now?!



Enter Von Paulus, a commoner from the Black Country, and his wife, Cheryl Cole.

"I will lead the good people of England" he said triumphantly.

And so Von Paulus established his dynasty, intending to rule for many years.



Despite his low birth, Paulus possessed some of the most important qualities desired in a king. He was brave, diligent and ambitious. He valued all his subjects and was not interested in searching for glory. His main goals were to maintain peace in the realm, and unite the British Isles under one banner.

To help him meet these goals, he required a council. He needed a chancellor, a general, a treasurer, and a spymaster.

For his Chancellor Paulus chose Duke Boc of Lancaster.



With a reputation for being a just and content man, he was an ideal choice.

He chose Earl Henry of Kent for his spymaster.



It was his job to uncover conspiracies against the King. Von Paulus was aware that Henry was a paranoid schizophrenic with an interest in mysticism, but he decided it would be safer to have an incompetent spymaster than one who could plot against him behind the scenes. He had no time for such games.

For his treasurer the King chose Earl Jeffrey Fernandez of Oxford.



Jeffrey was a bit slow, and his stutter made him the laughing stock of the court. He also knew very little about looking after the economy, but Paulus chose him for his kindness and loyalty as opposed to his skills.

Finally, a general was required to maintain the discipline of the armies which protected the realm. Unlike the other choices for council, Paulus placed more emphasis on ability than loyalty. He needed a ruthless, efficient killer, who could lead men into battle...



Duke Curtis of York was a dangerous man. He was cruel and deceitful; a flamboyant schemer who would betray anyone to move up in the world. He played the part of the courteous and loyal subject well, but deep down he wanted the Kingdom of England for himself.

To the North of England was another independent realm. One which would have to be conquered if Paul was ever to unite Britain.



A mad king sat upon this throne...A cruel hunchback who was paranoid and greedy, and was known to have brutally murdered his own kin...



King Vernon Of Scotland was hated by almost all of his subjects. The imbecile murdered one of his Dukes so he could marry the mans widow, Natalie. Scotland was on the brink of civil war. A perfect opportunity seemed to be on the horizon for Von Paulus to invade.

To the west was a another country which would need to be conquered if Britain was to be united.



Ireland was a mess of squabbling minor houses with no King to keep them in check. The only chance of stability lay in the hands of two Dukes...



Malion was one. Being the youngest member of his family, he was never meant to rule. His two older brothers were destined to inherit their fathers titles. So Malion pursued a different life. He became a very accomplished poet, and when he was 18 he planned to travel to Italy to make a name for himself. But before he could make this dream a reality, all of his brothers died along with his father in battle against the other Duke of Ireland, Leos of Connacht.

Malion suddenly had the sole responsibility of keeping his family name alive, and he wasn't sure he was ready for it. He had no experience of ruling, and worse still, he was homosexual.

His first goal was to marry and have children, despite how little the prospect thrilled him.

Then he needed to work out how to solve the problems he had with Duke Leos.



Leos, ever the cynic, didn't believe Malion was as kind and trusting as he appeared, insisting it was a ruse.

Leos was an angry and violent drunkard. He was an experienced fighter, and bore many scars from many battles. He had no interest in a peaceful solution to the problems he had with Duke Malion. He wanted to be rid of him by any means possible and unite Ireland against the inevitable invasion from the powerful Kings of England and Scotland. Every time he drank he came a little closer to gathering his armies for war.

Other struggles were arising across Europe. North of the British Isles was Iceland, where the natives (affectionately named snowmen), were nearing war.



Duke Mercator was the ruler of this free country.



Despite been poorly suited for the role, few challenged him. For years he had lazed around in his castle, living the good life. He was a complete coward, and had never so much as swung a sword.

There was only one person in Ireland who gave a shit about this.



Count Ari was the second in command to Mercator. He was unfortunate enough to have been born a dwarf, a curse which had made him very insecure.

He possessed an extraordinary amount of arrogance and was prone to temper tantrums when things didn't go his way. He was desperate to prove his worth to the people of Iceland...but he felt Mercator stood in his way. He wanted to be a Duke, not a shitty Count! Then everybody would love him!

At the other side of Europe is another King....the greatest king ever!



King Hupu of House Hupu was quite content with his lot in life! He was the humble and charitable ruler of Ethiopia.



He was very strong, and made for an imposing figure to his enemies.

If he were a common man, he would have been considered blessed. But Hupu was not a common man. Good kings needed to be smart...and Hupu was an imbecile! He knew nothing of diplomacy, war or stewardship. Like literally nothing...look...he got zeros on nearly everything!

The King of Ethiopia had enemies everywhere too. To the north were great muslim empires.



Hupu was going to have to work hard to keep his Kingdom safe. Would brute strength be enough?

Feefiaggizady @ 25/2/2013 17:58

Why the fuck am I married to Cheryl Cole?

"I would like to kill my wife"

Malion @ 26/2/2013 15:21

I dunno, enlighten me what all these numbers mean Wikes

From top left down:

Diplomacy
Military
Financial
Blackmailing
Learning

From top right down:

Cash
Prestige
Piety
Not sure

Everything below that is character traits. I had to add and take away to them to build Henrys character so he will behave the way I want him to in the game.

Tonight hopefully. It will cover the first month of 1067. A lot has happened already.

People will notice some odd decisions on my part.

Vernon been married to Natalie, for example, was the only way to bring her character into the game. It is quite heavily biased against female characters due to the setting.

But new characters are coming into it in the first update. Expect to see Bryce, Robert, Wikey and DR.

Rob @ 27/2/2013 20:25

Is Robert me or Dylan? I always get that confused.

I meant Dylan. My bad. You are going to be in this Robert, but I have something else in mind for you.

Lab characters might also have to start making an entry eventually.

Henry_42 @ 27/2/2013 21:38

Tom Brady @ 27/2/2013 8:53 Malion @ 26/2/2013 15:21 I dunno, enlighten me what all these numbers mean Wikes Everything below that is character traits. I had to add and take away to them to build Henrys character so he will behave the way I want him to in the game. Say WHAAAT?! You can't restrain him son, he' un-fuckin-tamable. Urrrbody know (: Speaking of those traits, can ya break down my traits right there?! That shit right there nigga that shit right there?!...Hmmmhmmmm. What's my trait. Hoping to hear LONG CON, and WISDOM and shit...

Some of your traits up there are: Paranoid, Mystic, Just, Honest, Wroth

Cruel is up there too, but I couldn't get rid of that one :(

It was January 11th, 1067, and the Kingdom of England was enjoying it's first real period of stability since the "War of the three kings." Everyone seemed happy under the rule of Von Paulus, a commoner from the Black Country.

But times of peace are always short lived. How long could the King maintain this one?

Paulus called the first council meeting of the new year to assess the priorities of the realm. All four of his councillors (Boc, Curtis, Henry, Jeff) attended.

Paulus informed them that he was pleased with progress, and was confident that Scotland could be conquered within the year. He was sure that war was on the horizon for the mad king.
"We are going to march in and take the throne for ourselves!" Curtis said, grinning slyly.
A prouder man than Paulus might have taken offence at the words "for ourselves." After all, the throne belonged to him alone. But he wasn't concerned. He was sure the remark was innocent enough.
"An interesting plan, your grace," Boc said. "But...as soon as we get ourselves involved in such a war, our territory in Northern France will be under threat."
He had overlooked this. Paulus decided to send Chancellor Boc on a diplomatic mission to Paris to improve relations with the French lords.



To conclude the meeting, Paulus promised to promote Earl Henry and Jeffrey to Dukes, on the condition that they started doing their jobs properly. Jeffrey was told to actually learn something about economics, whilst Henry was sent to Scotland to build a spy network.



Perhaps the promise of promotion would inspire them to do something useful. If not, nothing would be lost by trying.

News was starting to reach the court that King Harald Hardrada of Norway was dead, along with his claim to England.



It would be premature to celebrate however, because his replacement proved to be a dangerous man.



King Bryce of Norway! A confident young warrior searching for glory.

On the other side of Europe in Ethiopia, King Hupu's Kingdom was receiving disturbing reports. The Egyptian empire had amassed its armies to march south on Hupu's Northern neighbour.



And how many could his neighbour muster to defend themselves?



Oh boy. Looks like Hupu was going to be in trouble soon. But he didn't have time to worry about the future of his entire kingdom. He was busy looking for a wife.

He was looking for a kind hearted lady who wad fun.

And Hupu thought he had found his perfect match! A Norwegian princess called DR! It was love at first sight for Hupu, even though he had only seen her portrait, and so he sent a marriage proposal straight away.



He even added a clause offering matrilineal marriage.



Gee Hupu, way to go put your dynasty in jeopardy!

In Scotland, the mad king Vernon sat upon his throne nervously.

He was alone except for a lowly courtier, who stood before him.
"Your grace," the man murmured timidly. "I bring terrible news! Your brothers plot against you! They wish to depose you and install one of themselves as the king!



His brothers, Wikey and Dylan, were indeed each plotting to overthrow him.
"This is treason! I am the rightful king! I want them arrested immediately!" He let out a violent scream and cursed at nobody in particular. Natalie calmly entered the throne room.
"What is the matter?" she asked.
Vernon was busy having a fit, so the courtier had to tell her. Natalie listened, and found herself smiling when he was finished. Vernon was evil. She despised him. She had even written a list of all the reasons she hated him!



It seemed Natalie really hated gluttony, having listed it twice. But despite all of this, she was in a position of great power as the Queen of Scotland. She stood to lose a lot if Vernon was overthrown. If she had a son with the mad king, her child would be heir to the realm. She needed a son from Vernon before she could help end his tyranny.
"My brave husband, might I suggest a course of action?"
Vernon looked at her erratically. "What do you know of war, woman?"
"Both your brothers plot against you...but only one can take the throne. Perhaps we can turn them against each other?"
Vernon narrowed his eyes. "That is so stupid...I am Vernon...I am the scum killer!" He pointed at the courtier angrily.
"Arrest my brothers at once and throw them in a dungeon! I will not tolerate treason!"
Natalie sighed.

Earl Wikey was arrested as he lay asleep in his castle.



Wikey was a drunkard who inherited some of the same madness that plagued his brother. He had a reputation for random violent outbursts. Many people claimed he was possessed by demons.

Vernons simple plan seemed to be going well. All he had to do was arrest his other brother Dylan, and the crisis would be over before it had even begun.



Dylan anticipated what Wikey hadn't. He managed to escape, fleeing south to England.

Meanwhile, Curtis was keeping himself busy in court.



He started a faction, the goal of which was to place himself on the throne. In an effort to build alliances, he sent a marriage proposal to DR, King Bryce of Norway's half sister. Oh dear.



Who would DR marry? Hupu or Curtis?

In Ireland Leos sat alone in a tavern, brooding. Drinking with the peasants was usually his favourite way to pass time, but he was distracted on this night. He was thinking about the war he had fought against Duke Malion's father and brothers. He had won, but the cost had been immense. An unruly subject had used the war as an opportunity to raise his flag in rebellion, declaring independence.

After Leos killed Malion's father and brothers, his army was in ruin, and he had to surrender half of his realm to the rebels. If Malion was as war like as his father, he could crush Leos with ease any time. Malions kingdom was larger and stronger. But Malion would not fight Leos on the battlefield. He would gather support from the other Irish lords before even thinking about making a move.

Leos decided it was time to take action. To begin staking his claim for Ireland, rather than drinking in local taverns. And what better way to start, than reclaiming his lands from the rebel scum.
"Asssemmble the armyy!" Leos shouted drunkenly, taking a big swig of wine.



That night Leos began marching East to war. Duke Malion received word in the morning. The war for Ireland had begun.

The news came at a really bad time for Malion, who had internal problems. His subject the Earl of Ormond was seeking independence.



He needed allies. The easiest way would to get them would be marriage. However, any marriage would be expected to be consummated straight away, something Malion didn't think he was ready for.

So he considered betrothal instead.



He sent a proposal to King Von Paulus, proposing marriage to his 13 year old daughter Cheryl Junior when she came of age.

If Paulus was to accept, he would have a powerful ally, and he wouldn't even have to meet the girl until the was 16. That was three years away.

In Iceland a message had arrived from Norway. Mercator was called out of bed in the afternoon to read it. The letter was from King Bryce.



The young ruler Bryce was hoping to incorporate Iceland into his kingdom. Mercator was curious about the offer, simply because it gave him less to do if he accepted. Ari made a stand on the issue though.
"We must maintain our independence!" he said sternly.
Mercator reluctantly declined the offer. But would Bryce allow them to stay independent?

Curtis recieved a reply from DR. Grinning, he began opening it.
"I knew she wouldn't be able to resist me!"



Curtis was surprised. Why would DR turn him down?

The reason was that DR had no interest in being a queen. She wanted to be THE queen.



Such a cute couple! Too bad DR was using the marriage to gather an army!

To be continued...

It was the 1st of February, 1067. Leos had marched his army across Ireland to the city of Cavan, home of the traitor count who split his kingdom up years ago. The defending army met him in battle on the fields outside of the city.



As this battle was been fought, Malion received word that his marriage proposal to King Paulus of England's daughter had been accepted.



Malion was relieved. With a king as an ally, he felt much safer. Regardless of this, he still hoped to avoid a war with his own subjects. He sent a handsome sum of money to his unruly count in a bid to win his favour and stop him from plotting rebellion.



Only time would tell if it would work.

In Scotland the mad king Vernon was visiting the dungeons. His brother Wikey was locked in a bird cage, living in his own shit.



"Brother?" Wikey said faintly, squinting at Vernon in the darkness.
"YOU ARE NOT MY BROTHER TRAITOR SCUM!!" Vernon bellowed. Wikey looked dazed.
"Why are you here?" he asked uncertainly. Vernon smiled.
"I am glad you asked!" he replied, putting his hands in his pockets and pulling out a piece of parchment. "Read this!"
Wikey reached through the bars of his cell and took the paper.



Wikey read it slowly, trembling with fear.
"I ordered Natalie to write this up," Vernon said, smirking. "All I have to do is sign it brother!"
"Your wife is smart. She was kind enough to remind you how tyrannical killing me will look to your subjects!"
Vernon shrugged. "Your head will be the first of many to roll if my subjects continue to foolishly plot against me!"
Wikey glared. "So you are going to kill me like you killed Nenna?"
Vernon was taken aback. "DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT NAME! NEVER EVER!"
"You are no brother of mine," Wikey said darkly. "Do what you like, I will be glad to-"
Wikey stopped suddenly, his expression pained and confused. Then he began writhing around on the floor. When he stopped, he turned to Vernon and started yelling in an unearthly voice.
"Malum consilium quod mutari non potest!"
Wikey was having one of his fits. Vernon looked uneasy as he left the dungeons.
"I will deal with you later," he muttered, as Wikey screamed at him in Latin.

In Iceland, the snowman Ari had decided enough was enough. He really hated Mercator.



He had to go. Ari could do his job ten times better, he was certain. So he started a faction to stake his claim.



Back in England, Chancellor Boc had successfully married a Danish princess.



Curtis, still looking for a match after Hupu stole DR away from him, decided to follow Boc's lead. The Danish King Ninefingers would make just as good an ally as King Bryce.



Curtis was also contemplating approaching Boc for help claiming the throne. Despite being Duke of Lancaster, Boc only controlled half of his duchy. Counts and earls that should have served him answered to King Paulus instead. If Curtis could make Boc see that, he might join him.

In Ireland, the battle of Cavan still raged on.



Both sides were evenly matched, with nobody really having the upper hand. That was until a vital turning point.



Leos and his personal guard slayed a prominent commander, causing the enemy to panic. From that point, there was only going to be one victor.





The enemy army routed. Leos decided to rest a while before giving chase. During a wild party to celebrate the victory, he was approached by messengers from two different Irish lords. Leos opened each in turn.





Marriage proposals! It seemed everybody wanted to be Leo's friend now that he was on the war path. He considered each of the maidens offered to him.
"If I was a Muslim I could marry both and be done with it!" Leos said, sighing. He could only choose one.

Not too far South of Cavan, Duke Malion was in despair. During the night, his unruly count had ambushed his castle, and now his men were fighting outside the walls.



The battle was not going well. His only hope was King Paulus. He sent riders out to request military aid from the English king.

In Scotland, Vernon was in his throne room, shouting and bawling. Terrible news had reached him. The loyalists to his brother Dylan had raised their flag in rebellion, and had already defeated the few who had rallied to the Kings army.



Worse still, King Paulus of England was using the rebellion as an opportunity to invade, having raised his banners for war.



Vernon sat on the floor and sobbed. "Why can't they just let me rule in peace!"
Natalie looked down at her husband with contempt.
"Get up," she said bluntly.
"You don't command me," Vernon said petulantly. "I can sit on the floor and sob if I like...I am the king!"
"If you don't get up, then I can't save your kingdom," Natalie said sternly. Vernon looked at her curiously, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"How can you do that?"
"You have a lot of money, your grace," Natalie said. "Enough money to buy a vast army to contend with our enemies."
Vernon gaped and started laughing hysterically.
"Oh my god!" he said, standing to his feet abruptly. "I will buy the greatest army ever!"



Just under 10,000 mercenaries were hired. They would demand a lot of money, but if they kept Vernon on the throne, they would be more than worth the cost.

To be continued...

It was early March. King Paulus was attending the war counsel he had arranged to oversee the invasion of Scotland. General Curtis was explaining the situation.
"It will take some time for our levies to get organised your grace."
"How long?" The King asked.
"A few months I expect," Curtis replied. "We must be patient, your grace. King Vernon has no allies, and the rebellion against him is getting stronger. Our army outnumbers his massively."
Henry laughed. "That is where you are wrong Mr Page!"
Curtis sighed. "Spare us one of your drug induced stories please Henry."
Henry shook his head. "I admit, whilst in Scotland I did deviate from my mission and went off into the forest to sample some of the local fungi, famed for its insightful properties and recommended to all you guys...like seriously. But I also did some spy stuff too!"
Curtis glared at Henry. Paulus was skeptical. "Are you saying you actually did something useful over there Henry?"
"Indeed I am bro. The mad king is rich, and he has hired a huge mercenary army to defend his throne."
There was a long silence as the King considered this. Boc was the first to speak up. "Your grace, Earl Henry is not the most reliable of sources. It is possible he is lying." Curtis voiced his agreement with that. Jeffrey yawned.
"We have nothing to lose by trusting him," Paulus said, "But everything to lose by ignoring him. If Vernon has hired a mercenary army, let him exhaust them fighting his civil war, whilst we wait for the perfect moment to strike."
Everyone agreed with that. Paulus looked at Henry. "Henry, you have done well. Before I sent you to Scotland I promised you would be rewarded if your mission was a success."
"Hooray!" Henry said, beaming.
"Since you lack the wits to have falsified this intel for personal gain, I hereby name you Duke of Kent. All lands and titles under the Duchy belong to you now."
"Jeffrey," Paulus contined, turning.
"Yes?" Jeff said uncertainly.
"You have done absolutely nothing, so you get nothing."
"Ok."
After this, the council was brought to a close. When outside, Curtis collared Chancellor Boc. "The king seems to take comfort in giving power to halfwits, don't you agree?"
Boc smiled wearily. "If that is so, what does it say about you and I General Curtis?"
Curtis grinned slyly. "Make no mistake, the king only tolerates us. He needs at the moment, but the day will come when people like Jeffrey and Henry will replace us!"
Boc wasn't convinced. "Paulus is an honorable man. Under his rule we shall all prosper."
Curtis sighed. "If you really believe that, you should pay more attention. Henry is now more powerful than you!"
"That is a lie," Boc said uncertainly.
"It is a fact. You are the Duke of Lancaster Boc. But half of the lords that should rightfully serve you serve the king. If you don't believe me check it out for yourself!"
Without waiting for a reply, Curtis strode off.



In Denmark, King Ninefingers was sat down in his study reading. At 48 years old, Ninefingers was a content ruler who only wanted to see out the rest of his days in peace.



In his younger days he might have been tempted to go to war when news reached him that King Paulus was preparing to invade Scotland. He had a strong claim on the English throne. But that was before he learnt the hard way that prestige and power were not worth the trouble. War was unpredictable and costly. All the king wanted to do was keep the realm prosperous during the last years of his reign. But political situations were developing which weren't going to allow it.

To the north, the young Norwegian king Bryce had married a Hungarian princess, securing an alliance along with his bride.



The Norwegian king was like Ninefingers in his younger days. Ambitious and looking for glory. Unfortunately for Ninefingers, Bryce had a claim on his throne.

The young king was a brave warrior, and posed a very real threat. But Ninefingers, with the benefit of experience, had found a possible diplomatic solution to this problem.



The Hungarian king had many daughters, and Ninefingers quickly made the arrangements for his own wedding. He had married before, but his wife had died of disease years ago.

He had vowed never to marry again since, but he didn't have any other options. If it came to war with the ambitious Norwegian king, at least the Hungarians would now have to choose whose side to take.

In Ethiopia, things were changing fast. Hupu's foreign Queen was making her presence felt. DR had barely got off the boat when she started putting her new found power to use.
"My lovely wife!" Hupu said, greeting DR with open arms. "I heard it's unrealistic for a baby to appear out of nowhere! Why don't we go and find out!"
DR waved him off. "Wonderful husband, I am tired from my long trip here! Perhaps later!"
Hupu hesitated before nodding. "Of course my queen! Take your time!"
"I aren't too tired to help you change the succession laws though!" DR said happily. Hupu looked confused.
"What is that?"
"Nothing you need to know about," she replied, handing Hupu a piece of parchment. "If you could just sign this for me husband, I would be thrilled!"
Hupu looked at it.



"I don't understand...but ok!"
Hupu signed it, smiling away.
"Thank you!" DR said, giving her husband a peck on the cheek. Hupu beamed.
"Maybe I can sign my name on more pieces of paper!" Hupu suggested. DR laughed.
"In time my husband! In time!"



DR was there five minutes and already she was a countess. She joined a handful of women across Europe with a title to their name. But she had only just started. At home in Norway there was a greater prize waiting for her.

In Scotland, the rebellion had gone from bad to worse to catastrophic.



Vernon had shut himself away in his chambers days ago, only allowing servants to enter with food and drink. Natalie had been ruling in his stead.
"What news do you bring of the war good sir?" Natalie asked the general of Vernon's army, one of his few supporters.
"I answer to the King, not his whore!" the man spat. Natalie laughed.
"The king is indisposed. I could have you fired from your seat on the council and banished if I so wished sir. You would do well to remember that."
The general blushed and bowed. "Sorry...my queen...the war goes...badly. The entire realm is up in arms."
Natalie looked at him calmly. "Our mercenaries will make short work of these traitors. We just have to find the money to pay for them."
"Your grace," the treasurer piped up. "About that...The few lords of the realm left who aren't rebelling have approved the harsh tax laws."



Natalie was surprised by this. "I don't recall ordering such a law to be put into action!"
The treasurer shook his head. "It was the king who ordered the law be passed."
That surprised Natalie even more. Her husband had made an uncharacteristically smart decision. The mercenaries weren't going to pay for themselves.
"Are you sure the king ordered this?"
"Certain, your grace. He ordered the law be passed before your marriage."
Before the marriage...and before the war. That was more like the mad king she knew. Imposing harsh taxes for no reason. No wonder half the realm was up in arms!

In Ireland, Leos was celebrating once more. His army won another decisive battle and were marching home.



With no army left to defend himself, the Count of Breifine surrendered.





Leos accepted. Usually, he preferred to completely annihilate his enemies, but in this case he didn't have the time. A bigger war was left to be fought. This was just the first step.

He had been so caught up in the fighting that he forgot about his marriage proposals. Leos had received two. Sophia and Kendra were there names. Both could have been his dream girl!

But the choice had been too difficult and he hadn't chosen either of them. Leos kept telling himself that there was too many wars left to fight to take a wife just now. He vowed to become the king as quickly as possible to rectify this.

Back in England, Paulus was sat having his supper. Cheryl Cole, his wife, walked in.
"Hello husband!"
Paulus sighed. "What do you want?"
"I know you are busy and you have a war to fight, but I was hoping you could help me with a project of mine!"
"A project?" Paulus asked, grimacing.
"Yes! I want to start a talent show for all the singers in the land!"
The King facepalmed. "No, I will not allow it!"
Cheryl glared. "You never let me do anything! I am a queen!"
"Leave me alone," Paulus said impatiently. "I can't stand been in your company."
"You can't talk to me like that! I am the mother of your children!"
"That's what you think!" Paulus snapped. Cheryl looked bewildered.
"I...I don't understand."
"My lovely wife, I cannot think of a single redeeming quality about you. Do you really think I would ever have had children with you? And so many too?"
"But...those nights we spent together?"
"I had a half wit from the stables visit you now and then. With the lights out you never knew the difference."
"But...the children...I gave birth to them!"
"You did give birth, but every time you got pregnant I got my mistress pregnant to account for it. Then I swapped the babies at birth..."
Cheryl gasped. "You wouldn't!"
"Well I did...I am just amazed I had to tell you. I thought you would have figured it out by now."
The queen was lost for words.
"Now get out of here," Paulus said coldly. She stormed off crying. The king frowned, then grabbed an ink quill and began writing.



Paulus had had enough. He would kill himself if he had to put up with Cheryl any longer. He sent letters out to those stupid and loyal enough, asking if they would back his plot to kill his wife. A few days later Henry replied.



Jeffrey followed shortly after, and Paulus made him Duke of Oxford as a reward. Other lords began to back him too. He would soon be rid of her.

Elsewhere in the court, Boc was still thinking about what Curtis had told him. Reading up on the subject, it seemed that past holders of the Duke of Lancaster had a lot more power than he currently had. Counts which traditionally served past Dukes were serving the king now instead. It made Boc uneasy. If Curtis was telling the truth, Paulus may not be the perfect king he had hoped for. When he learnt that Jeffrey was made Duke of Oxford later that night, it was enough to convince him that Curtis was right. He visited Curtis. Curtis greeted him with a grin on his face.
"Hello Boc! I have been expecting you!"
"You were right...the king is up to something."
Curtis patted Boc on the shoulder. "Don't worry! Together we can fix this."
"How?" Boc asked curiously.
"A king is only king so long as those who serve him allow him to be."
Boc gasped. "You are talking treason!"
"So? Who knows other than you?"
"But if we depose the king...who will replace him."
Curtis thought about that. "Somebody just...somebody brave, charming, handsome. Somebody who knows how to rule fairly and peacefully."
Then he laughed.
"What is so funny?" Boc asked.
"Oh nothing," Curtis replied. "I just listed all my best qualities that's all!"

Shortly after this visit, Curtis had his first supporter for his claim on the throne...



To be continued...

Bryce @ 5/3/2013 19:13

And why am I Rose's heir??

Rose doesn't have any children at the minute so her closest relative is heir to her titles. That is you at the moment.

The season finale...a two parter. Coming in about an hour!

Ratings are good. Quite possibly!

Part 4

Malion sat on the floor of the hall in his castle, looking grim. Outside, the sounds of battle were fading. The enemy had the upper hand last he checked. Soon they would be besieging the castle. Things had gone bad quickly for Malion, since abandoning his dreams of been a famous poet and trying to keep his families name alive. He felt angry at his father and brothers for dying on him.

Malion had considered leaving his lands for someone better qualified. Someone who was into women preferably. But he could never bring himself to insult his fathers honour so greatly. The father that always had time for war but never for his poems. The father who had put him in this mess.

But now it seemed his short reign was over, and his family name along with it. There was no point in prolonging this battle by letting it turn to a siege. Malion stood up. He walked to the great wooden doors and pushed them open.

He looked around at the battlefield. Bodies were everywhere. Hundreds. His courage was fading fast, so he would have to do this quickly. The clang of swords and shields were further away than they had been. Malion headed towards them. They were coming from beyond a steep hill up ahead. When he clambered to the top he was shocked by what he saw. His banners were everywhere. Cavalry were mowing down terrified enemy soldiers. The commander of his cavalry saw him and broke off from some retreating foot soldiers.
"We have won my lord! We have won!"
Malion was lost for words. His commander patted him on the back and he started laughing uncontrollably. He couldn't believe it.

When the battle was well and truly over his army gathered around him. He was so full of gratitude for them. Something took hold of him and he began speaking.

"Men! You have fought well this day!"

There was a slight cheer of appreciation. Malion continued.

"After today, the enemy should be in no doubt that we are his nemesis and that we will soon bring about his rightful destruction!"

There was a louder cheer. This was like poetry...he could do poetry. Malion went on to deliver the most epic speech in history, but we can't show it because its too awesome.

The next day, he set off with his army to chase the routing enemy.



In Iceland, the tension had finally erupted into civil war.



Mercator was laying in bed when he got the news. His servant rushed in to his chambers.
"My lord! Count Ari is rebelling. He intends to take your throne!"
"Oh," Mercator said, yawning.
"My lord please! He has at least 100 more men than we do. We need to do something!"
Mercator grew irritated. "I am too tired to concern myself with petty squabbles!"
His servant stared at him in astonishment. He decided to try a different tactic.
"My lord...Ari intends to end your days of contentment and put you to work in a mine if he wins."
Mercator shot up. The thought of having to do something made him ill.
"That asshole! Take me to the war room!"
"At once my lord!"
It was true. Mercator was in big trouble. Ari's army would take a while to cross the country, but once it did, they would outnumber him greatly.
"Ideas?" Mercator asked sharply.
"Well...you could marry."
"A wife would be very time consuming!" Mercator said irritably. His servant frowned.
"It is up to you...but it could be the difference between victory and defeat."
Mercator sighed. "Fine...set it up."
The servant obliged, and the next day a proposal was sent to a Spanish princess.



Meanwhile, far away in Ethiopia, King Hupu sat upon his throne, drawing with crayons. Queen DR strode in.
"My lovely wife!" Hupu said when he saw her, his eyes lighting up.
"Husband!" DR replied. "I have brought you more paper to sign!"
Hupu smiled. "Will I get another kiss?" he asked hopefully.
"That depends on if you sign!"
Hupu snatched the paper from DR's hands and signed it without so much as a glance.
"There we go, now come here!" he said, holding his arms out to embrace her.
"Actually husband, you better call your army!"
"Why?" Hupu asked, puzzled.
"Because that was a declaration of war you just signed!"
Hupu gaped. "I don't want to fight!"
DR patted him on the head. "Don't worry Hupu, that is what armies are for! I better go and send this,"
DR gently grabbed the declaration and walked off. The War for Harer had begun.



DR saw the invasion as a safe bet. Their Eastern neighbor had just under 600 men.



Whereas Hupu's army was twice the size.



The war also had religious justification, and that easily stirred men up. DR smiled. So far so good.



Dylan had been riding for weeks. He had just managed to escape his brothers henchmen back in Scotland. He had seen it coming. His brother Vernon had always been unstable, and Dylan figured he would still be in this perilous position even if he hadn't plotted against his brother. The mad king was paranoid.

Since then he had traveled south, looking for any English lord that would harbour him. None had accepted him so far. He didn't blame them. He was on the run from one of the most powerful and batshit insane men in the entire British Isles. It would be an unnecessary risk. But now Dylan's patience was wearing thin. He was approaching the walls of Northampton.



When he finally reached the gates, exhausted, a guard came to greet him.
"What is your business here," he asked.
"I am Prince Dylan of Scotland. I wish to speak with your lord."
A smirk creeped across the guards face for half a second, but when Dylan maintained eye contact with the man, he thought twice.
"I shall go wake him."
Dylan nodded. He waited for half an hour, when finally the lord of Northampton arrived.
"Hello. My name is Lord Robert."
"Did your guard tell you who I am?" Dylan asked.
"He did...you are a long way from home."
Dylan nodded. "It was too dangerous to stay. I am at your mercy, Lord Robert."
Robert rubbed his chin and thought. "It would be quite dangerous to harbour a traitor, don't you agree. No doubt that is why you travelled this far. No other lord would take you, am I right?"
Dylan sighed. "Correct."
"I aren't like most other lords though. I would be willing to hide you here."
"Thank you so much!" Dylan said with relief. Robert held up his hand.
"However, there is a price."
Dylan nodded. "I have plenty of gold friend! You are welcome to-"
"I don't want your gold," Robert broke him off. "I don't know if you are aware but right now half of your realm is rebelling against your brother in your name."
"I was not aware," Dylan said, surprised.
"Yes...you might be a king soon enough," Robert continued. "And because of that it would be criminal of me NOT to take advantage of your current peril."
Dylan grimaced. He did not like where this was going.
"The price of my hospitality and protection is an alliance with you, prince Dylan. If you become king, you must promise to help me whenever I need your assistance."
Dylan nodded. "Sure, whatever!"
"And you must swear this in front of all my bannermen later on today."
Dylan hesitated this time. There would be no going back if he agreed to that. "Fine. Will you let me in now?"
Robert smiled. "A king does not have to ask, your grace! I am yours to command!"
The gates opened and Dylan entered the town.

In Westminster, Jeffrey was walking around the court, whistling tunelessly. Being the state treasurer was easy peasy. All he did all day was walk around asking people how they thought the economy was going, writing their responses down on a piece of parchment. He didn't know if his job involved other duties, but neither did he care.

Jeffrey found himself in an unfamiliar hallway, dark and abandoned. He walked down the narrow hall, his footsteps echoing. He could hear muffled voices coming from further down. He walked towards their source, approaching a heavy wooden door. The voices were coming from the other side. He pushed it open gently.
"As soon as the Kings army march on the Mad king, we strike!"
Jeffrey cleared his throat and General Curtis turned sharply to look at him. Chancellor Boc was with him. They both looked surprised.
"How long have you been standing there Jeffrey!" Curtis said, smiling. Boc looked worried.
"I just got here. What are you doing in this part of the castle?"
Curtis grinned. "It is very naughty to eavesdrop Jeffrey!"
"I...I am sorry. I didn't know your conversation was private." Jeffrey pulled out his parchment and quill. "Let me just ask you both how you think the economy is going and I will be off."
Curtis laughed. "I think it is going swimmingly Jeffrey. What about you Boc?"
"Oh...oh yeah...great," Boc stammered.
"Great guys! Well, that will be all!"
Jeffrey turned to leave but stopped at the door. He looked back round at them. Boc gritted his teeth.
"Wait a minute..."
"What is it buddy?" Curtis asked innocently.
"Are you guys in a secret club together?!" Jeffrey asked excitedly.
"Well Jeffrey, I think you-"
"I love secret clubs!" Jeffrey interrupted. "Can I join?"
Boc gaped at him. Curtis laughed.
"You sure can buddy!"



And so Jeffrey unwittingly joined Curtis's treasonous faction, pledging the support of all the power of Oxford.

In Scotland, Natalie sat on the throne, deep in thought. The mercenary army she had hired for Vernon might not be enough to beat back both the rebels and the English army. Defeat was a distinct possibility. And if she stood by the mad kings side until the bitter end, some might take it the wrong way. She could be banished for her apparent loyalty to such an evil man, perhaps even executed.

But if she joined the rebellion, and lost, what would her beloved husband do to her? Natalie flipped a coin in her head. She made a decision. She stood up and adressed her guards.
"Get me a horse," she commanded. "I am leaving."



Natalie left to join the growing rebel army.

Back in Northampton, Dylan was attending a feast hosted in his honour. Robert was explaining the political situation to him. Vernon's war with the rebels was indecisive, but King Paulus of England was assembling his army to press his own claim to the throne. Robert said that Paulus posed the biggest threat.
"Hopefully, the mad king and my own liege can fight it out with each other whilst the rebels bide their time."
"There are a lot of variables to consider," Dylan said in frustration. "Anything could happen."
"War is always unpredictable," Robert said. "Anyway, I have it on good authority that the king will have bigger problems soon."
Dylan smiled darkly. "Please elaborate!"
"In time. If you will excuse me, your grace." Robert rose abruptly and walked off. Dylan watched him curiously.



Earl Robert was a smart and cunning man, with a strong sense of pride. He was serving under his new liege Duke Jeffrey of Oxford, a title he felt should have been given to him. Jeffrey was an imbecile, and nowhere near worthy of the honour. Hopefully that was soon to change though. Robert walked away from the feast, up to his study.



Since Jeffrey had received his undeserved power, Earl Robert had been plotting against him. Nobody had pledged their support yet, but that was hopefully that too was about to change. Robert sat at his desk and started writing a message.



General Curtis was a very dangerous individual, but he hoped he could enlist the help of the man.

In Ireland, Malion's army had chased down the enemy back to their own castle, and won yet another victory.





As the enemy lord routed yet again with his dwindling army, Malion allowed himself and his men a proper celebration.
"To our good lord Malion!" one of his soldiers cried out, before they all returned the chant. Malion had underestimated the power of speech. It had inspired his soldiers more than picking up a sword ever could.
"No!" his commander bellowed. "Not our lord...our king!"
There was a long silence.
"King Malion of Ireland!" his commander cried out. In seconds the new chant was picked up on. Malion gaped. HIm? A king?

In Westminster, Paulus was brooding in his study. His plot to kill his wife had garnered an extraordinary amount of support.



In fact, practically the whole realm was united behind his cause. It was too bad they couldn't unite behind anything else huh? The hate for his wife probably stemmed from the fact that she had no personality. Things were speeding up with so many backers. Plans were coming in to kill his wife on a regular basis.

Duke Jeffrey proposed a plan involving the queens carriage and an "unfortunate accident."



But the king preferred Henrys plan.



Poison would be perfect. Sure, he would have to watch her die, but it was despicable enough that he was seeing through with it in the first place. Hiding away from what he had done was not proper behavior for a king.

The banquet was going to be tonight. Paulus poured a glass of wine, gulping it down quickly before pouring another. It was easy to make the order. But now the murder was becoming a reality. The mother of his children! (as far as the children knew anyway).

But he couldn't live with her any longer. She had to go...

Paulus staggered to his feet. He was drunk. When he arrived in the hall, the food was been served.
"Your grace!" Duke Curtis approached him, grinning. Paulus didn't like his smile.
"General Curtis, I thought you had a war to fight!"
Curtis frowned. "The troops are still getting ready Paulus."
Paulus glared at him. "What did you say?"
"Your grace...my apologies!"
Curtis looked at him a long time. "Are you having second thoughts, your grace?"
Paulus was surprised. "I didn't know you knew," he hissed.
Curtis laughed. "Almost everyone important knows!"
Paulus sighed and strode off, his head swimming. He took his place at the head of the long table and stared at his empty wine glass. Cheryl walked in and sat by his side.
"My husband," she said in a strained voice, taking the seat next to him. The children took there places around them. Shit. The children.
"What are they doing here?" Paulus demanded.
"Please Paulus. It is still early!" Cheryl said innocently.
Paulus could not let them watch their mother apparent die.
"To bed with you!"
They all began complaining at once.
"What is wrong with you?" Cheryl asked incredulously.
"They cannot be here!" Paulus shouted. People were looking over.
"Why on earth not?" Cheryl asked defensively. Paulus thought of something fast. He lent in and whispered in Cheryl's ear.
"This banquet was called for a reason...we are discussing matters of war. The children are not ready for such talk."
Cheryl frowned but she bought it. She wasn't smart enough to see through his ruse. Reluctantly, she told the children to go to bed. They did. Paulus started shaking. Then he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder. He looked round to see Henry walking past him, smirking. He winked at the king as he sat next to Cheryl.
"My lord, is that your seat?" Cheryl asked curiously.
"It is now, my lady," Henry replied casually. A servant rushed over and began pouring wine into Paulus's glass. He stared at it.
"Your grace," Chancellor Boc said, grabbing the glass. "Allow me to be your cupbearer."
Paulus nodded faintly. Boc took a sip and waited.
"It is safe to drink, your grace."
The servant moved over to Cheryl and poured a glass for her. Paulus watched as she took a sip. She put her glass down and Henry began fumbling in his pockets. He nodded at the king expectantly. Paulus tried speaking but he had lost his voice. He cleared his throat.
"Lovely wife..." he said distantly, keeping one eye on Henry.
"Yes," Cheryl looked at him.
"I...I am sorry."
Henry poured a small vial of colourless liquid into the wine.
"Sorry for what?" Cheryl asked hesitantly. Paulus wiped the sweat off his brow.
"Erm...sorry for getting angry just now."
"Oh that is ok," Cheryl said. "The children are too young to listen to talk of war. She raised her glass to her lips. Paulus held his breath. Then out of nowhere Jeffrey stumbled on her and knocked the glass out of her hand. It went flying across the room and landed on the floor with a crash. Jeffrey belched.
"Ohhh m good!" he said. He was absolutely wasted. He gasped and pointed at the glass. "OOOPs! Was that ttthe poisson?!"
Cheryl's eyes grew wide. She wheeled round to face Jeffrey.
"What did you say?" she demanded.
"Nothin," Jeffrey replied, belching again. Paulus facepalmed. Cheryl looked at him.
"You tried to kill me?" She murmured. Her face went dark. "YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!" She began hitting the king in rage. Paulus sat defenceless, bowing his head. A guard came over and wrestled the Queen to her feet. She screamed as he dragged her from the room. When Paulus looked up, everybody in the room was staring at him. He saw expressions of guilt mostly, but some were fearful, and some were angry. Curtis was grinning as he always was.
"Who is up for desert?"



To be continued...

Boc @ 9/3/2013 20:33

lol why did I test Paul's wine if I want him dead?

You don't want Paulus dead, you want him off the throne. He doesn't have to die to be deposed.

Real Talk Ice Teos @ 9/3/2013 20:39

So am I dead?

Nope. Leos is resting, waiting for his armies to replenish.

Just so you know, you aren't fighting Malion. The two of you are at peace at the moment.

Rob @ 9/3/2013 21:14

Also... umm... Jeffrey is my heir? Awkward.

Titles pass on to your liege until you have children.

Traits and current position

I am going to go through each character in turn, listing their traits and a brief bit about how they are faring so far.



Trickster, brilliant strategist, ambitious, diligent, cynical, brave, temperate, patient

Paulus was doing well until his plot to kill Cheryl was exposed. Now his reputation is ruined and his subjects are going to be more likely to plot against him. His army is on its way to Scotland. This might not be the best time to fight a foreign war with trouble brewing at home.



Underhanded Rogue, scholar, genius, quick, deceitful, envious, diligent

Earl Robert is way down the pecking order. He answers to Jeffrey, his liege, and he doesn't like this one bit. He will find it easy to make friends though, so he might just be able to usurp Jeff and become the duke of oxford himself.



Dutiful Cleric, imbecile, hunchback, kinslayer, wroth, deceitful, cruel, paranoid, gluttonous, greedy

Vernon's power is rapidly slipping away from him. His mercenaries are all that stands between him and defeat.



Scholarly Theologian, impaler, slow, proud, deceitful, trusting, drunkard, possessed

Wikey is a fool but he knows how to kill people. But at the moment he finds himself locked in his brothers dungeon. How much longer can he bear been locked in a bird cage? He could pledge his allegiance to Vernon, and renounce his claim on the throne.



Thrifty Clerk, duelist, trusting, arbitrary, gregarious

Bryce isn't doing much at all yet! There are factions in the kingdom preparing to rise up against him for whatever reasons. He can't press his claims on Denmark until they are quelled.



Bastard, trusting, slothful, content, craven

Mercator is in danger. His only subject, Ari, has risen against him, with a larger army. Mercators only chance will most likely be outside assistance.



Homosexual, poet, trusting, kind, diligent, honest, humble

Malion started off in a pretty shitty position, and I was sure he was going to lose his war. But he has beaten the odds and turned it around, and now is in almost as good a position as Leos. Almost...



Skilled tactician, scarred, wroth, chaste, cynical, arbitrary, brave, lustful, drunkard

Leos is resting his troops to prepare for war again. He isn't sure who to choose yet. Malion could make a good choice whilst distracted with his civil war, but it could easily go wrong for him.



Stutter, slow, kind, craven, content, trusting

For some reason Jeffrey started as a lowly earl and ended as a powerful Duke. It seems Paulus was wrong to trust him though. Jeffrey has unwittingly backed Curtis's claim to the throne, and also completely ruined his lieges reputation by exposing a plot to kill his wife. Will he be punished for this?



Imbecile, slow, strong, charitable, humble, content

Hupu started off loved by all his subjects. He might be simple, but he had a natural charm to him which inspired loyalty. When DR came along, she started a war to expand the kingdom of Ethiopia, and whilst she might have her own agenda, this will benefit Hupu if the war is successful.



Mystic, wroth, cruel, paranoid, honest, just

Henry might be paranoid, but he makes a half decent spymaster. Discovering the mad king's mercenary army was invaluable to Paulus. Henry is quite loyal to his king, but how easily could he be swayed. He has managed to avoid been implicated in Cheryl's assassination attempt.



Elusive shadow, quick, trusting, deceitful, ambitious

DR is a long way off been ready to conquer Norway, but she has made a good start. The more powerful she becomes, the bigger the army she can gather. Invading the kingdom to the east of Ethiopia is a good way to increase the armies levies.



Skilled tactician, cynical, craven, just, patient

Dylan has finally found safety after escaping his brother Vernons grasp, but he is pretty much helpless in the quest to win his rightful throne. It all depends on the rebels.



Flamboyant schemer, quick, hunter, scholar, arbitrary, brave, ambitious, proud, cruel, deceitful, gregarious

Curtis is a total dick, but he is making progress fast. He has almost gathered enough allies and is simply waiting for the right opportunity to strike.



Charismatic negotiator, quick, hunter, brave, content, just, temperate

Boc is missing out on a lot of land that should rightfully be his. It is a dangerous game he is playing, backing Curtis's claim to the throne, but if successful it may pay off greatly.



Midas touched, quick, temperate, diligent, patient, brave, content

Niney has no reason to be worried at the moment. Bryce is busy with internal problems, and he doesn't really have any other enemies. But he should plan long term for a potential invasion.



Dwarf, greedy, arbitrary, proud, ambitious, wroth, zealous

Ari is on the road to become the new ruler of Iceland. The sooner he can beat Mercator's army the better.



Charismatic negotiator, quick, trusting, content, humble, diligent, kind, temperate, just

Natalie is trying to play both sides now. She has joined the rebels after buying a mercenary army to fight them. She hopes that she has guaranteed her safety this war, no matter who wins.

PROLOGUE



Rome was a city with a long and proud heritage. A thousand years previously, it was the center of one of the greatest empires in the world.

In 1067, it was the center of the spiritual world...for Christians at least.

The head of this religion was the most powerful man in the western world. He was above Kings and Queens.

The pope...



And this was the new one...

Pope Roth was an ambitious man. He dreamed of liberating the holy city of Jerusalem from the evil infidels to the East. As pope he had a real chance of making this dream a reality. Roth had devoted followers in the tens of thousands, all across Europe.



Would the armies of Christendom respond if he called them to arms?

!!