Three Word Story IV

“With great power, and slightly retarded abilities, comes great responsibility and very ineffective Superheroes.” said Curtis, the leader of The Averagers.

Crime had become an issue in the city of Fart Eagle, where The Averagers’ nemesis, Fartin' Fred Allen (FFA for short), commanded a horde of Primate clones.

Primate Primate Primate

Wikey, whose superpower allowed him to breastfeed in public, was just finishing a nice, hot shit, then removed -

KAPOW!

Suddenly, Wikey whipped out his weapon: his trusty breast milk, and gave it a taste.

Elsewhere, Rose ironed her new cape. Her ability, not being sarcastic, rivaled only by her inane sense of doom and peeing her pants. Suddenly a rogue elbow owned by Christian, the evil Conchairto Master, landed as Herm sheepishly watched.

BAM!

Rose urinated all over Jamie's homework before he was able to think about his alter ego: Captain Canuck. Instinctively, Jamie quickly apologized for Ahoda's grammar.

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The Averagers recruited Boc’s black friend, Hupu AKA The Token. His ability was throwing paperclips at his students with average accuracy.

click!

The Token met with the undercover FFA spy known only as Fat First Finger. FFF was a real mean son of a nun. One time, FFF jaywalked during rush week. He immediately drop kicked a lad named Bryce.

Bryce gingerly massaged his arm before praying to God for world peace.

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Shadow, whose power is contingent upon Hupu meeting FFF, leapt into action!

"Stoooop it" he demanded. "u r a big poopy love puff.”

Suddenly, KC appeared! "Hey! Who drop-kicked Bryce?! A primate clone can't jump like that...”

KC’s superpower of orgasm on command was useless, but admired by Dickless Dadd Douchebag. Dadd’s power of tying unlaced shoelaces made it so KC didn't trip during his climax. Buffy creepily huddles Ahoda's porn collection into the trash. Ahoda’s power of poor grammar enabled Professor Spin to lick 3 lollipops, drawing a crowd.

"Grammar is a lie!" shouted Vlady, triumphantly. Vlady's superpower of singing in a boy band was discovered when he was overheard auditioning for NKOTB.

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Elsewhere, the villainous Cat Darkus Sanders kidnapped Curtis. They tickled him for hours, until finally he came. Suddenly, the wonder twins, Josh and Zach, used their secret handshake to signal backup.

WHAM!

The Maddie, whose power to duplicate gumdrops and feed them to Zach/Josh using her toes, met the wonder of none; however, once they'd chewed on her toes, they vomited and Maddie's power was no more.

Buffy's wine glass fell. Buffy panicked until Chris appeared in his costume: a Human Being. "Hahahahaha," JJ cackled as Chris cried. He used his ability and stole Buffy's wine fridge. Angered, Buffy called up her trusted dog 'Lil Bitch DS'

DS wagged his labia to and fro, but Chris bit him on the thumb because of rabies. DS yelped for Vlady, who is deaf, dumb and blind. Vlady's caretaker, Brian, left years ago to fulfill his dreams.

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Meanwhile, Nofo was guessing screencaps while Zersch started his pink moped. Igor watched as people laughed at the size of Igor’s tiny hands. Igor’s ability enabled interesting fashion sense.

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The final battle, which consisted of