Ironically enough, I think I did this over on FI as well back in the day. Just created a thread to rant about a romantic relationship break-up. For those who might find it a little weird to read about someones break-up with not having met me, completely fine if you don't want to read it.

Story

The only girl I've ever been unconditionally in love with broke up with me 2.5 years ago. It's been a strange road ever since. None of my relationships since have ever seemed as serious. Almost as if I'm guarded in a way.

I met this girl, Pam, a few months back. She was nice, but not really my physical or emotional type. That's not to say she wasn't a lovely person, she was outstanding, just not for me. I like to have deep, intellectual conversations about things and that's not really for her. I like longer hair, she has super short hair, etc. Instead of not seeing each other again, we decided to date "short-term" aka until I was done with graduate school and moved away. Mutually exclusive, but not "dating" in the traditional sense of what it means to date.

That put us at about 14 months of a relationship that was designed, by its starters, to at some point fail / not work out. Most people don't agree with this, which is fine. Hopefully, just understanding it will be enough for now.

I met another girl a few weeks ago. She's more my type and my feelings started to grow. I barely know the new girl. She's just more of what I look for in terms of a first impression.

I broke up with Pam who, per what we talked about a few months ago, was blindsided. She knew we were temporary, but thought it would be longer than it was. This was the first real time I broke up with someone for a reason I had to come to terms with (e.g. previous girlfriend cheated, which made it easy). So I'm just jotting down my thoughts, on a public forum, because I'm hurting. I'm hurting because I hurt someone. I know right now, at this very moment, that person is just crying a river of tears because she lost me. It's very sad to think that someone who cares that much for you just couldn't be someone I had just a little more in common with.

And all this for what? Some girl who may or may not like me back anyway? It's going to be a long night. A tough decision was made and now the second guessing has begun to take its toll. Few more hours of work to go...

I think the rational part of me knows it's for the best. It's, you know, using different outlets as a means of letting my emotions (e.g. currently sadness, being upset about hurting her) out.

She wasn't for me. First experience with a breakup initiated by me really. It's not fun.