‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through FE

Not an RPG was stirring, except for Lab 3.

The Lab 2.5-ers checked their forum with care,

In hopes that the rankings soon would be there;

Vernon was tossing and turning in his bed,

While visions of Frosti danced in his head;

And Natalie with her Snow White av, and me with Abed,

Had resigned ourselves to the fact that our characters were dead.

When out in the Finale Board there arose such a clatter,

I immediately clicked over to see what was the matter.

But before it would load I had to update Adobe Flash,

But once that was finished, to the board I did dash.

The glorious glow of the “New-Post” icon

Made the rest of the forums look pale and wan,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a complaint that rankings still weren’t here,

From a weird Asian kid who said “This ain’t Bito!”

I knew in a moment it must have been Rito.

More rapid than eagles the others they browsed,

To post speculations on who’d ranked where and how;

"First, Henry! Then Dutchiee! Then Vespis and Ari!

Then Dylan! Then Curtis! Then Rito Kanakiri!

To the top of the rankings! To the top of the list!

Now hurry up and post them, we’re all getting pissed!"

But the rankings were absent, for what felt like years,

And, like “Waiting for Godot,” it bored us to tears.

So to General Discussion the players they flew,

And posted in “Last song you listened to.”

And then, in a twinkling, I saw in the cbox

That Paulus himself was posting some talks.

As I scrolled down to the bottom, and typed my username,

There on the Active Users list, was the host of the game.

His picture was a small frog, black with red eyes,

And he called himself Frostius, a name I despise;

Any further attempt to describe his physical characteristics,

Would exhaust both the humor and potential linguistics.

So I’m skipping this entire part of the poem.

If you don’t like it, screw you, go home.

I don’t have to write this stuff for you, you know,

There are many different places I could go;

I could go be involved in gainful employment,

Instead, I’m writing this for your enjoyment;

I honestly wish that this section were cleverer,

I suppose that’s the curse of every endeavourer.

The poem takes forever to describe Santa Claus,

And when you rewrite it, you have to take pause;

Because if you don’t have a way to fill all those places,

You’ll have to do what I did, and waste all those spaces;

Describing Paul for those lines would be tedious work,

So I broke the fourth wall and acted like a jerk,

But that just how Rob do, I suppose,

If you don’t believe me, just ask Drr/Rose;

Paul sprang to the forum, and I saw he was viewing,

And my hopes of rankings were just now renewing.

Then I saw the posts and exclaimed, ere I logged off that night.

“Vernon got seventeenth! I knew I was right!”

Kana @ 18/12/2012 17:03

Flow was a bit awkward in some places 9/10 good effort

Yeah, I spent the last four months in a senior-level prosody course learning how to manipulate syllables to maximize flow and pacing. When I sat down to write this I said to myself, "F#$% THAT, it's a poem for the internet."