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Rob of 2015
-1,000 karma or bust!
| Reputation: -33 | Group: | Veteran | Posts: | 2,230 | Joined: | Jun 26, 2012 |
| Post #1: 15th May 2013 4:22 PM | |
"Harrison Timmons"? |
"If Rebekah could keep doing this, she could gain favor and become a ruthless dictator."
Best player on the losing team two Labs running. |
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Rob of 2015
-1,000 karma or bust!
| Reputation: -33 | Group: | Veteran | Posts: | 2,230 | Joined: | Jun 26, 2012 |
| Post #2: 15th May 2013 4:25 PM | |
Anyway, if you actually want a serious critique I can give you one (I can also do a grammar sweep, etc). |
"If Rebekah could keep doing this, she could gain favor and become a ruthless dictator."
Best player on the losing team two Labs running. |
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Rob of 2015
-1,000 karma or bust!
| Reputation: -33 | Group: | Veteran | Posts: | 2,230 | Joined: | Jun 26, 2012 |
| Post #3: 20th May 2013 9:45 PM | |
Sorry. I was at my bachelor party, and I've been waffling over what to say in my criticism, since a lot of what I have to say is stylistic critique - things that aren't necessarily wrong, but that would be good to clean up if you want to do anything official with it.
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"If Rebekah could keep doing this, she could gain favor and become a ruthless dictator."
Best player on the losing team two Labs running. |
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