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A Short Story I wrote (Seriously!)
 
Rob of 2015
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Post #1: 15th May 2013 4:22 PM 
"Harrison Timmons"?
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"If Rebekah could keep doing this, she could gain favor and become a ruthless dictator."

Best player on the losing team two Labs running.
   
Rob of 2015
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Post #2: 15th May 2013 4:25 PM 
Anyway, if you actually want a serious critique I can give you one (I can also do a grammar sweep, etc).
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"If Rebekah could keep doing this, she could gain favor and become a ruthless dictator."

Best player on the losing team two Labs running.
   
Rob of 2015
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Post #3: 20th May 2013 9:45 PM 
Sorry. I was at my bachelor party, and I've been waffling over what to say in my criticism, since a lot of what I have to say is stylistic critique - things that aren't necessarily wrong, but that would be good to clean up if you want to do anything official with it.

Post Edited by Rob of 2015 @ 20th May 2013 9:46 PM
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"If Rebekah could keep doing this, she could gain favor and become a ruthless dictator."

Best player on the losing team two Labs running.
   
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