Depression and society anxiety disorder to absolutely nobody's surprise. Both diagnosed. On medication but I don't take it.

Also suffer from absolutely terrible exploding head syndrome which gives me horrible sleep problems on top of my anxiety.

:kc:

Christian @ 23/10/2017 20:19

A bit of the social anxiety as well I suppose. And I'm super awkward socially sometimes, for example when I run into someone I haven't seen in a long time, and I don't know what to say/talk about. I'm not good at making small talk. And the whole time I'm thinking to myself, This is awkward. I'm sure they're thinking that this is awkward. Am I showing the appropriate amount of interest? Is this person bored? Am I looking around too much? I should make some eye contact. I wonder if a sufficient amount of time has passed to end this conversation? How do I end this conversation? Is my face red? I feel like my face is red. Yep, it's likely very red right now. Oh good, I think they're making like they need to get going... "Yes, it was good to see you too!" I also don't know how I made it through kindergarten, because I would never talk to my teacher. I'd talk to one or two classmates, once in a while. My parents would have to have meetings with the teacher and the principal about it. I remember when I was in grade one, my teacher asked me to read a story to her after class, and I did. She bribed me with some gum in her desk drawer. Then she walked me down the hall to my old kindergarten room to read to my old teacher. Starting high school was kind of the same thing, I became known as the 'kid who doesn't say hi'. :P I wouldn't. But I'd at least try to smile at them so they'd hopefully know I didn't hate everyone's guts. But then with some people, it was always easy to talk to them and become friends. I've definitely gotten a lot better about it. I even surprise myself sometimes. I just have to give myself a pep talk --- that it's all in my head, which it usually is, and that I'm an adult, I should be able to do these sorts of things. :P

You definitely had it. Social anxiety causes your brain to analyze literally every single thing you do in a social situation and the perception that others are doing the exact same thing to you and judging you for it. From eye contact, to what to do with your hands, to what you're wearing, to how to greet someone, everything. It was fucking awful in school and I was very much the same way as a kid who didn't greet anyone and rarely greeted anyone back because it took too long to think about how to respond to "what's up?" without thinking I would sound like a goof.

Wikey @ 24/10/2017 6:23

But srsly, there has to be a better way to combat mental illness right? I'm no expert of course, just my opinion. Based on my own experience, I believe I may have had social anxiety up until I was around 20. The way I beat it was to throw myself in at he deep end. Which I did by working behind a bar and performing on stage. Both those things forced me to face it. Honestly though, I sometimes wonder how much of it was just standard shyness which I grew out of, and how much could be attributed to an actual condition. I just know I've read the symptoms before, and it describes me 5 years ago to a tee. Is it something you're even supposed to be able to beat if it's a mental condition? I dunno..

I'm iffy on this man. I had the same belief for many, many years. One of my exes (Yes, Footsies) also suffers from SAD and a handful of other mental illnesses and has a purse full of meds, so she use to urge me all the time to see a doctor. And for years I was always of the belief that I could just fight it and end it one day. Then I had a total mental breakdown after my last breakup a few months ago. I saw a therapist and I got medicated. I have a pill bottle sitting in my room from April that I've barely put a dent in. The fact that they didn't do anything is my fault as I didn't stick to the regime. Would it have? I have no idea. My anxiety has gotten way better over the years, not from a doctor, but from working at a huge retail store for 6 years and the biggest job requirement being interaction with other humans. But I definitely still struggle with it. The thing is, I know what I have. I know what I perceive and I know none of it is really true. I know nobody really gives a shit or pays attention to hardly any of the shit I worry about. But my brain is so conditioned to feel the way I do that I can't help but feel it every day.

Wikey @ 24/10/2017 11:23

I remember in school I literally couldn't walk from one end of the classroom without feeling like all eyes were on me. I hated it when the teacher asked me questions. I was incapable of making phone calls, and talking to strangers was impossible. In College I studied music, and when the time came for the end of year performance in front of a live crowd, I pulled out all the stops to get myself out of it, even thought it should have resulted in an automatic fail for the course. I had to see the college counselor over that actually (: I ended up getting talked into doing the performance in the end, but it took a lot of convincing, and I may have had a few whiskeys before hand to help me out. (The show wasn't good either, I was shaking horribly throughout and my guitar playing was shit) One of the reasons I dropped out of Uni was that I couldn't stand a particular lesson I had to attend which involved speaking in a group. Probably a bigger factor than I'd like to admit in fact (still glad I dropped out tho). Maybe I had a disorder, maybe not. I certainly didn't seem to share these problems with many other kids my age.

Quite honestly Wikey, my therapist flat out told me that my medication will HELP suppress my anxiety to a certain degree but the only real cure is for me to tackle it myself and that the sessions with him and letting out all the stuff I bottled up (and besides Footsies, a very select few friends and Shadow! -- I never opened up to anybody about it for years) would be a good first step. But just popping a pill does not magically fix social anxiety, absolutely not. Personal experiences need to help get rid of those terrible mental blocks. Performing in front of a live crowd would definitely do that.

Same.