I've sent a postcard
Yep

I garden
Damn straight. It’s very fulfilling. I like all kinds of it.

I've recently gotten a promotion or new job
Nope, but probably soon.

A relative of mine is in prison
Nope, could be any time tho. I have some shady ones.

I've kissed a stranger
More times than I remember. 6 years in the USAF. Korea, Philippines.

I have wind chimes
No fuck those, exactly.

I recycle
When it’s convienient, sure.

I've sung "Happy Birthday" to somebody in the last year
Nope

I've been to a concert in the last six months
Nope, chasing Eagles tickets now tho.

I own a dishwasher
Who the hell don’t?

I've been to Walmart in the last 7 days
Yep unfortunately

I keep old/expired picture IDs
Nope

I actively watch music videos
I wouldn't say I do

I have Amazon Prime
The wife does

I have at least five credit cards
Hell no!

My last name is featured somewhere visible outside my home
Hell no again.