Hell or High Water

Absolute modern day gem, I loved this. These 2 white Texas bros rob banks, only they do it all smart like. They only hit crappy "Texas Midlands" branches first thing in the morning and they only take the cash from the tills (UNTRACEABLE). They are only making out with a few thousand dollars per robbery but they have no shame in hitting multiple banks in a single day. One brother, from that awful Dont Worry Darling movie is all sad and brooding but the OTHER bro is a fucken loose cannon ginger and rocks his clit. I guess he was military and jailed and all that

They launder the cash through an Indian Casino, which is a pretty good idea for all future bank robbers out there. Loose Cannon ginger man becomes more and more unhinged and is a bloodthirsty gun nut. At the big final bank robbery he shoots 2 or 3 people bc Texas be shootin at him

Eventually it's shown we're ROBBIN BANKS, specifically Texas Midlands Banks, bc "Mom" died and the bank (also Texas Midlands) is going to seize Mom's property bc of her reverse mortgage and back taxes. OH and there is oil on the property that was recently found, so the land is now worth a jillion dollars but the brothers are broke as asf and always have been, hence robbing the banks

Also Chris Pine has an exhausted ex wife and some kids. That's the whole thing,,,,,he robs the banks to keep the family land which is now actually worth something so his kids will actually grow up rich.....it's supposed to be Hawthornian I think

Ginger bro also does these wild ass Grand Theft Auto moves and kills a bunch of cops that chase them after the last robbery. He holes up with a rifle on top of a mountain and Brings The Pain. But then THE DUDE shoots him in the fucken head. THE DUDE is a Texas Ranger who has been chasing the bros the whole time btw. At the end THE DUDE talks to Chris Pine and is like I know you did this and got away with it I just want to know how (he was CLEAN and LE had a long suspect list of known felons who might have done the robbin with ginger bro). Oh also THE DUDE is "2 weeks from retirement" and ginger bro shot his partner through the brain in the sniper shootout

This is my worst review but 4real check this one out, hidden gem. Not a 5 star movie but 4STURE memorable and one of my faves

4/5 cactus

Tombstone

Was Wyatt Earp really like that? Why was the beginning and very end of this movie so *fruity*? I always thought of the Earps and Doc Holliday as stereotypical tobacco spittin wild ass cowboys, but they were...so...clean in this movie. It seemed like they smelled really good and were well manicured

Wyatt Earp is just trying to go into business for himself bc he's tired of all the c*wboy shit and his wife is addicted to opium so he moves to Tombstone (1993) with that man who narrates for THE DUDE and has a moostache. By *coincidence* this is where old friend Doc Holliday is living now, with his wife & tuberculosis

Eventually the trio gets roped into being the new lawmen bc they are the toughest sons of bitches around, turns out this movie was a slightly fictionalized but mostly accurate retelling of "The O.K Corral Shootout", I didn't really know that was coming. I didn't really know anything about this going in, it's a pretty good and accurate movie about Wyatt Earp. I just dont understand why he was so *fruity* at times

Sex and the City Aidan was in this for awhile, Wyatt Earp shoots him though. lots of other famous hoes in this too

Wyatt Earp's bros get killed by guys with red sashes (lol) and then Wyatt Earp, who is a US Marshal at this point, leads a Vendetta Charge and murders all the red sashes. I always thought Wyatt Earp was ACAB, I guess you really never stop learning heh

Standout performance is 100p "Doc Holliday" though. There is no way he was eccentric like that but it was a really fun portrayal. Reminded me a lot Handsome Blonde Boy from 3:10 to Yuma (2007). He actually is the one to kill the final boss red sash, he does a lot of killing and funny gun tricks. But then he does in fact DIE, from the toughest gunfight of all, the dreaded tuberculosis

But before that he tells Wyatt to pursue/marry this theater braud??? And it gets really *fruity* and sappy again at the end? It started and ended weird but this was really good and I enjoyed it,,,,,I just,,,,,,was Wyatt Earp REALLY like that?

4/5 cactus John Locke from Lost was in this for awhile I LIKED it

MrsAliceKramden @ 22/4/2024 7:09

Hell or High Water Absolute modern day gem, I loved this. These 2 white Texas bros rob banks, only they do it all smart like. They only hit crappy "Texas Midlands" branches first thing in the morning and they only take the cash from the tills (UNTRACEABLE). They are only making out with a few thousand dollars per robbery but they have no shame in hitting multiple banks in a single day. One brother, from that awful Dont Worry Darling movie is all sad and brooding but the OTHER bro is a fucken loose cannon ginger and rocks his clit. I guess he was military and jailed and all that They launder the cash through an Indian Casino, which is a pretty good idea for all future bank robbers out there. Loose Cannon ginger man becomes more and more unhinged and is a bloodthirsty gun nut. At the big final bank robbery he shoots 2 or 3 people bc Texas be shootin at him Eventually it's shown we're ROBBIN BANKS, specifically Texas Midlands Banks, bc "Mom" died and the bank (also Texas Midlands) is going to seize Mom's property bc of her reverse mortgage and back taxes. OH and there is oil on the property that was recently found, so the land is now worth a jillion dollars but the brothers are broke as asf and always have been, hence robbing the banks Also Chris Pine has an exhausted ex wife and some kids. That's the whole thing,,,,,he robs the banks to keep the family land which is now actually worth something so his kids will actually grow up rich.....it's supposed to be Hawthornian I think Ginger bro also does these wild ass Grand Theft Auto moves and kills a bunch of cops that chase them after the last robbery. He holes up with a rifle on top of a mountain and Brings The Pain. But then THE DUDE shoots him in the fucken head. THE DUDE is a Texas Ranger who has been chasing the bros the whole time btw. At the end THE DUDE talks to Chris Pine and is like I know you did this and got away with it I just want to know how (he was CLEAN and LE had a long suspect list of known felons who might have done the robbin with ginger bro). Oh also THE DUDE is "2 weeks from retirement" and ginger bro shot his partner through the brain in the sniper shootout This is my worst review but 4real check this one out, hidden gem. Not a 5 star movie but 4STURE memorable and one of my faves 4/5 cactus

whoever wrote me calling me a d*mbfuck for calling a Best Picture Nominee a "hidden gem" is an unlovable dork. I wasn't allowed to watch good movies in 2016/17 so this one slipped off my radar. Cry about it

Herm @ 20/4/2024 21:31

Please watch Brokeback Mountain for me.

I' m only reviewing Westerens I haven't already seen :eyeroll emoji:

Last note on Hell or High Water, soundtrack by Nick Cave hell yea

I like how your review of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is just a review of yourself and your ex.

I haven't seen it, but I know it's a movie I'm supposed to watch.

If I like the Fistful of Dollars films, I'm sure I'm gonna like this.

MrsAliceKramden @ 19/4/2024 21:58

guy who keeps PMing me NEXT WESTERN PLS,,,,,,,,,,, Can. honestly get fuck*d I have a backlog of westerns I'm dumping on ur asses this weekend

Name names

The Revenant

Another one I wasn't allowed to watch in 2015. Pretty good ig, was expecting to like it more. Big Leo guy over here but I thought Tom Hardy was way better in this

Bear attack part was funny/gratuitous. I think maybe I remember hearing "discourse" over it at the time. Leo, the ultimate woodsman who whispers in the forest sees bear cubs and his instinct is...to not immediately 36o degree start looking out for a mother bear? It was strange that he kept looking through his rifle at the cubs when rule #1 of bear country is if you see cubs and no mama to uh, evacuate lmao

Also it was all (obv) CGI so it looked ridiculous

Arikara attack in the beginning was also gratuitously violent but pretty cool too

I kind of didn't care too much about this Western despite being excited for it. Some other sh*t happens and OF COURSE Leo's Pawnee kid was murdered and then the protagonist made friends with more Pawnees

Oh I think Leo has a drug flashback about his dead wife too and Tom Hardy left him to die after the bear attack so he comes back for revenge and kills that handsome man and then floats him down river so the Arikara can scalp him but they are cool with Leo now because he stopped a rape. So much raping in the Western genre someone should do something about that

3/5 Cactus unfortunately didn't do too much for me

Also how come people dont just f***ing die from hypothermia when they go in these snowy and icy rivers and then continue living outdoors for days/weeks on end. The movie "The Gray" is really bad about that too

For a Few Dollars More

YOOOOOoooooo I could not follow anything that was happening but this fucking SLAPPED. I was skeptical on the first one but I'm all in on the Dollars Trilogy now

Also why TFUCK is he called The Man with No Name in "pop culture" when he was named Joe in the first one and explicitly stated he is named "Manco" in this one? lmao. Perhaps the third leg will shine light on this,,,,,,,,,,

Clint Eastwood was actually kind of a pussy in this one, the other guy "Mortimer" was a wayyyyy cooler and funnier character

I literally understood nothing about the pocket watch that played music. I think "Indio" raped a woman who shot herself during the rape (guys please stop raping in these movies) after Indio killed some other man and the woman was...Mortimer's sister? I think? Where did the pocket watch even come from...I guess he stole it from her corpse and Mortimer had like the matching pair?

It's mostly about stealing and opening a safe by Indio and his merry band of Lollipop Guild Badasses. "Manco" and Mortimer team up after they have a contest where they shoot each others hats off......but they are contentious and it's unclear if they're working together or not,,,,Morty shoots CE to prove to Indio he's a fighter or somethign

Mortimer pretends to be some ass drifter so he can open the safe and they rob him...obv they all gunfight and the good guys win...last part is Mortimer and Indio dueling over the musical pocket watches ?

5/5 cactus honestly it was a slow start but the second half of this was really really fun.

Clint Eastwood insanely rugged and handsome I totally "get it" @the guys who got hard over this man in the 60s

Just learned that Handsome Blonde Boy in 3:10 to Yuma (2007) is the same ginger fella that steals Hell or High Water and also that other boring Christian bale one





truly earth shattering revelation I guess this dude is my fave actor

I *have* been accused of being colour blind for many years for those playing along at home

I forgort about this I've mostly just been really into counting rivets and criticizing for accuracy the 1997 James Cameron award winning romantic thriller Titanic lately

I did watch High Plains Drifter and maybe some more good westerns tho
That one was about a ghost