vladykins @ 31/8/2017 12:11

Mittens @ 31/8/2017 11:38 If I'm going for a long bike ride for exercise then I will for sure wear my padded shorts - but if I'm biking around town to bars, etc. then I don't. Fuck that shit- I'll take the added "weight" of my comfy padded seat over feeling that shit in my pants all the time. ;)

You realize you're talking to Mittens right?

Dadd @ 31/8/2017 9:21

Maddie @ 30/8/2017 22:27 I was walking home from a bar just now and a construction working was like "How you doin'?" and I replied, "Hi thanks, how are you?" Just because he's dressed like a construction worker doesn't mean he is?

He was hopping off of a construction truck--it was some sort of night job on the main road by my house.

ANYWAY the point is, the way I answered, or really didn't answer his question made it sound like I said "I'm high, thanks." He seemed like a kind man and didn't ask in a creepy way. I'm just awkward and forgot to answer his question! Like at the movies when the ticket salesperson says "Enjoy the film!" And I say "You too!" every goddamn time.

OK, for the "must haves" accessories:

Stand up bike pump (roughly $20-40): Tires will slowly lose air over time. In addition, the bike shop likely didn't pump enough air in your tires. As the tires lose pressure, biking become *way* tougher. You are going to want to be able to pump air in quickly, which is why the stand up pump is best for this. You just hook up, pump until you are at the level listed on your tires (I tend to go about 5 PSI under max or so, depending on the weather) and you'll be good to go.

You'll see you can also get little pumps you can carry around. Don't make the mistake of thinking the little pump will be useful outside of emergencies- those things have a tiny air capacity and thus take *forever* to pump your tires up, leaving you exhausted and annoyed before you even get on your bike. So ignore those as a necessity. Get the bike stand up pump.

https://www.google.com/search?q=stand+up+bike+pump&oq=stand+up+bike+pump&gs_l=psy-ab.3..0j0i22i30k1l2.599293.602064.0.602279.18.16.0.0.0.0.318.2308.0j4j6j1.11.0....0...1.1.64.psy-ab..7.11.2301...0i67k1j0i20k1j0i131k1.rT1nQAg_KZ4



Helmet (as cheap as $20 or so to unbelievably expensive): You are just starting off, but you need a helmet. A cheapo one for now is great as long as it fits your head and does annoy the fuck out of you. As you spend more time biking, you may decide to spend a bit more on a helmet- the more expensive ones offer protection with more air passage (thus keeping your head from becoming a hot mess while biking in summer heat waves). So again, like the bike, start cheaper, get used to it, then upgrade later on.

And don't think you "don't need a helmet". I know people who have literally been saved by their helmets- pro bikers who destroyed their helmets but lived to talk about it. I haven't had an accident where my helmet has been helpful. But I have had encounters like when the guard at JBMHH dropped the gate too quick and it bounced off my helmet instead of flattening me out. Shit happens- wear a helmet.


Good bike lock ($ varies all over): People will likely encourage you to get a U lock. They are the strongest things out there. OTOH, if you are like me and not parking a multi-thousand dollar bike out there, you may be looking for more flexibility in locking up that a ulock requires you to have an additional lock for- for example, I'm more concerned someone will run off with my tire just to be a dick than I am someone stealing my whole bike. So I carry a cable lock that is light, flexible, and long. This way I can go through the tire and frame, then lock to a rack. It's easier to cut through a cable lock than a U lock, but if someone wants my bike that bad they are likely gonna get it no matter what.


These are the absolute bare essentials you should get IMO. Next up I'll throw in the "Very fucking nice to haves" which make a big difference.

Also:

That is the best gif I've seen in a long time.

Vlady I'm going to tell Sugar you're posting about you and your bike shorts. he will come looking for pics.

That pizza conversation lasted a very long time.

My personal favorite

Spoiler	+
Costco pizza. Nothing better.

OK, the really fucking nice to haves (of which I'll start some here and likely end up having to post more than once as I think of more):


Armadillos ($40 or more, depending): These aren't the cute little animal, these are rubber/kevlar tires. I love these things since I bike commute all the time, sometimes in bad road conditions. Before I learned about these, I had one winter where I started going through a inner tube like once a week- the snow plows pushed a lot of crap from the street up on the sides where I was biking and all that shit in the road went right through the tires and punctured them. The armadillos only failed me when I finally wore them down- that was about 10,000 miles after I had them put on. These things are beasts and worth every penny. There are other similar brands (like GatorSkins) but I like the Armadillos better.


Comfy bike seat ($40-50): Your bike is likely to come with a bike seat that is designed to be lighter weight but not be all that comfortable. As noted above, I don't want to wear biker shorts with the diaper shit in them- feels like you shit a pair of spandex and then stuck a bunch of TP in there to compensate. Fuck that- get a padded seat or, even better, the padded seat with the little shocks on it. Yeah, this is lightweight:

https://www.probikekit.com/bicycle-saddles-seatposts/selle-italia-slr-superflow-130-bicycle-saddle/10775959.html?affil=thggpsad&switchcurrency=USD&shippingcountry=US&thg_ppc_campaign=71700000008665119&gclid=Cj0KCQjw557NBRC9ARIsAHJvVVN63phoafb0-cels0_MxoGGYKt6ytVUJtxi_2GDyU8wW3bitsIDVugaAm-lEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&dclid=CPrkxbOCgtYCFURJDAodozgIjw&variation=10775962

but that shit is gonna be uncomfortable from the moment you sit on it, requiring you to wear big ass diaper pants. Now tell me this gel seat doesn't look sooooo much better:

https://www.rei.com/product/794376/serfas-e-gel-hybrid-with-cutout-saddle?CAWELAID=120217890000774072&CAGPSPN=pla&CAAGID=15877513960&CATCI=pla-284458677586&cm_mmc=PLA_Google|404_34202|7943760012|none|e9eb4313-cb75-4648-8a06-1206583aa7fd|pla-284458677586&lsft=cm_mmc:PLA_Google_LIA|404_34202|7943760012|none|e9eb4313-cb75-4648-8a06-1206583aa7fd|pla-284458677586&gclid=Cj0KCQjw557NBRC9ARIsAHJvVVNoo4zHPeCCCN0Nh92RE-9WV0BkZ_0EJnru3tYRUGpiH_MLeL9HQMcaAq5_EALw_wcB


My ass feels better just looking at that second picture.


Lights ($30-$100+): If you are going to be biking at night, this moves up to necessity. Otherwise, you might want them to help make you a little more visible in rainstorms and the like. The key thing to keep in mind with lights are what you are going to do with them. If you are going to be riding at night on a trail with no real light on it, you are going to want a stronger headlamp to make it so you can see the trail. If at night you are riding mostly on lit streets, you are more concerned with increasing your visibility to cars than you are increasing your visibility of the road, so a less powerful headlamp works. The rear light is for car visibility only.

In most cases, you can buy these as a set and they have all kinds of great features (the ones I just bought are rechargeable with a USB cable, meaning I don't have to purchase and swap out batteries anymore).


Bike computer: This will tell you stuff like speed, time, and mileage. I like the wireless jobbers myself and they are fairly cheap. They mount easily and use a magnet on the wheel and a little electromagnet box to track things. It's pretty cool. knowing the time by glancing down is great, especially if you need to be somewhere at a certain time. The speed is totally a penis thing, but it's nice to be downhilling at 35+ MPH and going "Fuck yeah!" Same with the mileage- I know when I'd put 10K miles on my old bike specifically because the little compy showed I had.

more coming later.

Ahoda @ 31/8/2017 12:39

Vlady I'm going to tell Sugar you're posting about you and your bike shorts. he will come looking for pics.

LOL- He still says "neon bike shorts" despite the fact that I said they were neon baggy bike pants and sent him an actual picture. I think he was just disappointed he couldn't see my tight biker butt in them.

shiiit my man vlady coming in clutch with the sage wisdom
i'll read over this soon

Igor @ 31/8/2017 13:00

shiiit my man vlady coming in clutch with the sage wisdom i'll read over this soon

When have you ever seen Vlady not post thoroughly when asked his opinion?






(the answer is never)

Maddie @ 31/8/2017 12:28

Dadd @ 31/8/2017 9:21 Maddie @ 30/8/2017 22:27 I was walking home from a bar just now and a construction working was like "How you doin'?" and I replied, "Hi thanks, how are you?" Just because he's dressed like a construction worker doesn't mean he is? He was hopping off of a construction truck--it was some sort of night job on the main road by my house. ANYWAY the point is, the way I answered, or really didn't answer his question made it sound like I said "I'm high, thanks." He seemed like a kind man and didn't ask in a creepy way. I'm just awkward and forgot to answer his question! Like at the movies when the ticket salesperson says "Enjoy the film!" And I say "You too!" every goddamn time.

OH

I didn't realize you were high

that is funny

vladykins @ 31/8/2017 12:29

I'm more concerned someone will run off with my tire just to be a dick than I am someone stealing my whole bike.

:yay:

I never got it until I was about 12 and I wiped my ass with it. now I get it easy as hell. I don't think I've ever had the sumac. Just ivy and oak.

I was too rmbarassed to tell my mom for about 3 weeks. By then it was like something out of some kind of horrorporn. I finally told my mom because my baseball coach was ready to kick me off the team because I was running the bases "like some kind of pussy"

Dadd @ 31/8/2017 11:02

Maddie @ 31/8/2017 12:28 Dadd @ 31/8/2017 9:21 Maddie @ 30/8/2017 22:27 I was walking home from a bar just now and a construction working was like "How you doin'?" and I replied, "Hi thanks, how are you?" Just because he's dressed like a construction worker doesn't mean he is? He was hopping off of a construction truck--it was some sort of night job on the main road by my house. ANYWAY the point is, the way I answered, or really didn't answer his question made it sound like I said "I'm high, thanks." He seemed like a kind man and didn't ask in a creepy way. I'm just awkward and forgot to answer his question! Like at the movies when the ticket salesperson says "Enjoy the film!" And I say "You too!" every goddamn time. OH I didn't realize you were high that is funny

I wasn't!