*Greaseface thought to himself* Hmm they enjoyed the poem so much last time, I must do one again!!

*A small, toothless grin came across GF's face as he rushed to the center of Langdale's town square*

"AHEM!"

*black flem came out of his mouth and spilled onto the cobblestone, burning a small hole into the masonry*

The Assblasters are tasked with a quest
Once again to try their best
at finding the gold
or a handy key mold
to try and catch up to the rest

For Akmong Sus has great expectations
We're not in Langdale for hugs and salutations
With six keen eyes
We'll find those sketchy guys
Who broke into the King's habitations

So why must I declare this in prose?
Plain English is fine, you suppose
Well this limerick is good luck!
and I don't give a fuck
unless it angers the crows

"Get on with your choice", you say
Well fine- have it your way
The Assblasters speak to the cops
So pick up your mops
and go wipe your sorry ass away

##main Quest 1: B. Pay a local official five gold from your parties pot for information.

The seven parties quickly went their separate ways in an attempt to beat each other for a lead on the thief. The Northerners decided to hit the streets of Langdale, asking the eclectic locals if they had seen or heard of anything suspicious lately. Most townsfolk greeted them with a wide, cheerful smile, but informed them that nothing out of the ordinary ever happens in Langdale. Furthermore, a local merchant informed The Northerners that they were the only newcomers in the town for quite some time. Priggat, Booberella, and a drunk Tuuluuwaq found the information odd. Even more strange was when the merchant paid them for their trouble. "pjthats not usually how tsih wrworks but thank you", said Tuuluuwaq.

Across town, The Assblasters headed to the Townmaster's Hall and introduced themselves to Mayor Salris, a blue tiefling wearing elegant robes. After slipping him five gold, The Assblasters learned from Salris that he had heard about the King's misfortune but that if anyone suspicious had entered his town lately, he would have heard of it. Ahron, Greaseface, and Malus left mostly empty handed. "THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME." Malus shouted as he shook Mayor Salris' hand goodbye.

Three trios had the same idea. The Pack, Ying Yang Yang, and The Keepers of the Woods went straight for the local tavern. If anyone was good at spreading information, it was the drunkards in town. The nine adventurers fed as much drink as they could afford to the patrons, but as the day wore on even the drunks caught onto their schemes. Realizing they were being taken advantage of, the tavern goers waved the three parties off and headed to their homes one by one, leaving the parties short on gold and with no information.

It was down to two parties, Get Ready to Rok an Hells Belles. With the other groups empty handed, the six moved their way up to a nearby rooftop that overlooked the town square. If no one would spill any secrets in this town, maybe they could just spot something strange. The six watched as Tuuluuwaq stumbled across the town square and passed out in the fountain, but besides that and a small cache of hidden gold on the rooftop, it was an uneventful evening.

The tight lipped town of Langdale frustrated the seven parties, who each decided to take the evening off and split up. Malus visited a local magic shop where a whacky wizard used him as a test subject, he learned a bit, but took some licks in the process. Greaseface made his way to the stables where he rifled through the horses leafy feed - Lantana, fine for horses, poisonous to most others. Ahron decided now was a great time for a bath in the town square fountain, and after the robot harmlessly filled his circuitry with water, he also found a shiny key in the fountain.

Cyrillus, meanwhile, also decided to bathe. He headed to a bathhouse and enjoyed a good soak, while also enjoying the ten gold someone left beside their pile of clothing. Rara decided to go to the local blacksmith to repair some of her armor. The blacksmith, a former sorcerer, parted Rara with some knowledge on the cantrip Mage Hand. Randall, always ready to help, went to the town square and helped various vendors remove their tents as the sun began to set. For his troubles, he was gifted some healing potions for him and his entire party. The three made a toast and chugged them down.

Hells Belles decided to be scoundrel's. Canassa casually strutted through town and made small talk among the common folks, who were unknowingly being freed of gold by Canassa as they went. Lavina was similarly up to no good. She crept into the back of the local church and cast some powerful illusionary spells, making it look as if a demon had descended down from the steeple. When the church goers scattered, Lavina cleaned up any gold they had left behind. Faerora found a few dwarves playing cards and throwing dice in a nearby alleyway. As an elf, she couldnt resist the temptation to best some dwarves at their own game. A few hours later, Faerora was a few gold lighter.

After witnessing the Moonberry Massacre but not getting to partake, Murder Bunny wanted to fight. So that's what he did! The bunny headed to general store, locked the door behind him, and started an all out brawl with everyone unfortunate enough to be shopping there at that moment. As he exited, proud of his work, he spotted a healing potion on an unguarded market stand and decided now was a good time to snag it. Pastor Sandor saw a drunk, half naked man in aid. This was his calling. He parted the crowd and approached the man, placing five gold flat in his palm. The ungrateful drunk bit one of Sandor's arms and stole five more gold from him for his troubles. Calius just wanted to drink. He passed by Tuuluuwaq and Khanarak as they were kicked out of the local tavern and asked the barkeep to give him what Tuuluuwaq had. When a fellow patron passed out drunk beside him, Calius lifted some gold and a key from his pocket.

Tuuluuwaq, Priggat, and Booberella stuck together and entered a tavern. Tuuluuwaq bought some food to help sober himself up, and the barkeep added an antitoxin on the house to see if it may help him. Priggat saw a drinking contest being started in the corner of the bar. The ratfolk slithered his way over and got in on the action, winning twenty gold but losing all of his items through various wagers. Booberella saw a different contest. An arm wrestling contest. Never one to shy away from showing off her...physicality, she jumped at the chance to join. When her gigantic minotaur opponent defeated her handily, Booberella left the tavern feeling a bit uninspired.

Marnu had had quite the day! The frogfolk wasn't used to such action and was feeling particularly cheeky because of it. The innocent Marnu hopped from townsfolk to townsfolk, spreading a wicked rumor about Akmong, who promptly caught him. Marnu, feeling guilty, offered some coin to Akmong as payment. On the other hand, Vandal was a very good boy. The giggle dog stood guard of Akmongs carriage. Loyal. Strong. Unwavering. He felt a sense of inspiration when Akmong relived him of his duties later on that evening. Hustus was relieved in a different way as he spent the second half of his day in the local brothel. After exiting late on with a strange rash, he was given some moonberries by the head mistress as an apology.

Rok was tired. Sneaking around on the rooftop didn't pan out the way she had hoped. No need to rent a room, she simply crashed in a rubbish bin at the end of an alleyway and woke later feeling rejuvenated. After Akmong left Vandal and retired to a room he had rented, Ordella trailed him. Something about the guide didn't sit right with her. As she peered through his keyhole, she witnessed Akmong yelp as his crow bit him on his hand. Aside from that, nothing interesting went own. But she did pinch a handful of gold from the pack he had left outside his door. Khanarak just wanted to make friends. The armor clad minotaur headed for a guard tower as two sets of guards were switching shifts. After chatting with them for a few and asking them further information about the Kings thief, two of the friendlier guards walked with their arms around Khanarak's shoulders.

''Sure! We'll tell you about the thief. A beast entered town just two weeks ago. We've had 'em locked up behind an iron door awaiting his trial, he won't be getting out anytime soon!'' the guard said as he laughed.

''Here, we'll take you to 'em. Just this way, friend.''



Meanwhile, across town, Ahron, Faerora, and Hustus watched as two other guards moved away from the iron door they were meant to be guarding. Now was their chance. The three crept over with Ahron making it there first. As he brandished his key and moved it towards the lock, the key suddenly came to life, sporting sharp fangs and a wicked laugh. The mimikey crushed down on Ahrons hand, causing him to drop it and curse as he moved aside for Faerora and Hustus. The two nodded at each other as they opened the large iron door and peered inside. Darkness, nothing but darkne--

The two were hurled aside by a gigantic force, losing a bit of gold in the process. The beast dented the iron door outward and freed it of its hinges. Hustus, Faerora, and Ahron looked upwards as a shadow was cast over them...



































































The giant, well over five times their size, tore a nearby tree from the earth and swung it at a pair of guards who tried to secure him. The giant roared out and ran across the townsquare, cracking the cobblestone beneath each of his heavy steps. ''Uh. Whoops.'' the three of you say with a shrug before running off.

Some time later, the twenty of you meet back at the inn where you had decided to spend your night. Rok and Ordella scanned the crowd. ''Has anyone seen Khanarak?'' Ordella asked. After a head count, the minotaur was no where to be found.

Khanarak was missing.





Main Quest #1: Find a Lead

A. Ask around, see if anyone's seen suspicious newcomers lately.
ADD TEN GOLD TO YOUR PARTY POT
B. Pay a local official five gold from your parties pot for information.
MINUS FIVE GOLD EACH, BUT PLUS TWO INSPIRATION EACH
C. Head to the local tavern. Maybe some loose lips will spill information.
LOSE 15 GOLD
D. Post up on a rooftop overlooking the town square, see if you can spot anything.
ADD FIVE GOLD EACH BUT LOSE ONE INSPIRATION EACH



Main Quest #2: Downtime

Spoiler

+

A. Buy some food ADD ONE ANTITOXIN B. Join a drinking contest FIND TWENTY GOLD BUT LOSE ALL ITEMS C. Visit a magic shop TAKE ONE DAMAGE D. Start a fight ADD ONE HEALING POTION E. Guard Akmong's carriage GAIN TWO INSPIRATION F. Go to sleep HEAL ONE HARM G. Pickpocket whoever you can FIND TEN GOLD H. Play pranks on townsfolk FIND FIFTEEN GOLD I. Give five gold to a beggar LOSE FIVE GOLD. LOSE FIVE MORE GOLD. J. Visit the stables YOU ARE POISONED K. Visit a blacksmith ADD ONE MAGEHAND L. Start a rumor LOSE TEN GOLD M. Get drunk in a tavern FIND FIVE GOLD AND ONE KEY N. Join an arm wrestling match LOSE ONE INSPIRATION O. Bathe in the fountain FIND ONE KEY P. Chat with the town's guards GO MISSING Q. Visit the brothel ADD MOONBERRIES R. Try your hand at cards LOSE FIVE GOLD S. Help where you can FULL PARTY HEAL T. Visit a bathhouse FIND TEN GOLD U. Spy on Akmong ADD 15 GOLD TO PARTY POT

Side Quest #1: Iron Door

MINUS FIVE GOLD

Current Standings