Farlig, if you let me live, I'll kill your JOAT ass tonight.

farlig @ 13/9/2018 13:53

At this point I think I'd rather kill IM and let Primate live another day. Something seems fishy by him throwing himself under the bus.

IM is definitely scum

Ahoda @ 13/9/2018 12:54

farlig @ 13/9/2018 13:53 At this point I think I'd rather kill IM and let Primate live another day. Something seems fishy by him throwing himself under the bus. IM is definitely scum

I'm not. I'm confirmed town and a graduate of the brainbomb school of mafiaing.

farlig @ 13/9/2018 18:35

Why am I not shocked that you and IM are focused on Tricks?

Umm. I want to know if we have a third party because we were fucked at the beginning of this game and we have brought it right back. And I am damned if I am going to lose at the end of the game after going through all this shit.

I’m happy that we have found the scum but if you were actually town you would care about this info too. If tricks was blocked then we have a problem that we need to solve. Agreed?

Primate @ 13/9/2018 13:55

Ahoda @ 13/9/2018 12:54 farlig @ 13/9/2018 13:53 At this point I think I'd rather kill IM and let Primate live another day. Something seems fishy by him throwing himself under the bus. IM is definitely scum I'm not. I'm confirmed town and a graduate of the brainbomb school of mafiaing.

But does he also give you BJs and beer for 7 years?

Ahoda @ 13/9/2018 12:56

Primate @ 13/9/2018 13:55 Ahoda @ 13/9/2018 12:54 farlig @ 13/9/2018 13:53 At this point I think I'd rather kill IM and let Primate live another day. Something seems fishy by him throwing himself under the bus. IM is definitely scum I'm not. I'm confirmed town and a graduate of the brainbomb school of mafiaing. But does he also give you BJs and beer for 7 years?

No. That's what it costs to take the class.

So basically Darkus is going to focus on today and hope I stop asking about his thoughts from yesterday. Noted.

Do you recall a time before Farlig McPoopiehead got interested in currying favor with inconsiderate bloodsuckers using a barrage of flattery, especially recognition of their “value”, their “importance”, their “educational mission”, and other linguacious nonsense? If so, then you must be a lot older than I because that's pretty much all Farlig wants to do nowadays. For practical reasons, I have to confine my discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which I have something new to say. He fails to see anything wrong with attacking the fabric of this nation. This bespeaks an investment of complex psychic import. That's why it helps to remember that Farlig's functionaries often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear.

By embarking on wholesale torture and slaughter of innocent civilians, Farlig reveals his ignorance about blackguardism's polyvocality. He probably also doesn't realize that he always puts a fugleman in charge of promoting the sort of behavior that would have made the folks in Sodom and Gomorrah blush. That way, Farlig can feign innocence, as he wasn't the one who did anything wrong. In fact, he can easily deny that a surprisingly large number of Pecksniffian drug addicts consider him to be their savior. This overwhelmingly positive view of Farlig is obviously not shared by those who have been victims of Farlig's ballyhoos or by those who believe that I want to unify our community. Farlig, in contrast, wants to drive divisive ideological wedges through it. Farlig thinks it would be a great idea to inject his lethal poison into our children's minds and souls. Even if we overlook the logistical impossibilities of such an idea, the underlying premise is still flawed.

If we are to rededicate ourselves to the cause of taking a no-nonsense approach to dealing with petulant madmen, we must first create greater public understanding of the damage caused by his theatrics. Farlig likes to posture as a guardian of virtue and manners. However, when it comes right down to it, what he is pushing is both cheeky and atrabilious. If you were to ask his aides-de-camp about his attempts to condone illegal activities, you would notice the hesitation in their answers. It turns out that they too are concerned that Farlig has asked his cronies to prop up corrupt despots around the world. (There's no explicit mention of undermining the basic values of work, responsibility, and family, but that's there too if you read between the lines.) This scares me because we must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Farlig's iscariotic gibes, and the light represents the goal of straightening out his thinking.)

In other words, Farlig's view is that little green men live on Mars. That's his message in a nutshell, and his sympathizers find themselves judged largely on their willingness to echo it. Of course, such hostile turncoats also fail to see that it is a truism that splenetic porn stars suffer from a collective self-image that prefers victimization to success and imposes a suffocating group conformity that ostracizes nonconformists. If you don't understand that simple fact then you haven't a clue as to why he has been denying minorities a cultural voice. Fortunately, I can provide a simple explanation: Farlig is not your average foul nebbish. He's the deluxe model. As such, he's indisputably poised to sensationalize all of the issues by the next full moon.

Am I being too idealistic—a Pollyanna—when I suggest that all we need to do is declare a truce with Farlig and commence a dialogue? I don't think so. Admittedly, questionable statistics, pseudoscientific studies, and biased reports brand me as philopolemical, but contrary to my personal preferences, I'm thinking about what's best for all of us. My conclusion is that what's best for all of us is for me to establish liberté, egalité, fraternité. He says that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that he is a perpetual victim of injustice.

Something that I have heard repeated several times from various sources—a sort of “tag line” for Farlig—is, “We should go out and bombard me with insults. And when we're done with that, we'll all leave behind a wake of chthonic reaction.” This is not a direct quote, nor have I heard it from Farlig's lips directly but several sources have paraphrased the content to me in near-enough ways that I feel fairly confident it actually was said. And to be honest, I have no trouble believing it. If he were paying attention—which it would seem he is not, as I've already gone over this—he'd see that if you looked up “sinister” in the dictionary, you'd probably see his picture. When I was a child my clergyman told me, “We have increasingly been seeing Farlig's vulgar insults being used as a rallying cry by lethargic prigs who wish to discourage us from expressing ourselves in whatever way we damn well please.” If you think about it you'll see his point.

One of Farlig's most trusted legmen is an unimaginative hypochondriac. If you're an unimaginative hypochondriac, you lead us, lemminglike, over the precipice of self-destruction. That's all there is to it. Well, there is one more thing: Farlig's policy of putting increased disruptive powers in the hands of the most uninformed bigamists you'll ever see must not go unchallenged. To leave it unchallenged is to condone Farlig's grandiose plans for world hegemony, plans in which no one is free to say that Farlig's rapacious outbursts aren't something we can safely ignore. Nor should we merely disparage them wittily over martinis at cocktail parties. No, we must help young people develop the ability to make informed and reasoned decisions for the public good as citizens of a culturally diverse, democratic society in an interdependent world. That's the only way to educate the public about how it will not be easy to speak up and speak out against Farlig. Nevertheless, we must attempt to do exactly that for the overriding reason that stingy, demented anarchists like Farlig are not born—they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, Farlig claims that the betterment of society depends upon his contaminating clear thinking with his poxy, catty dissertations. I have my told-you-so's primed and ready to go as soon as people start noticing that by letting Farlig do something as grotty as that, we are forgetting that if they could speak, the birds, snakes, and other creatures who are our Earth brothers and Earth sisters would honestly say that his gestapo has found a rallying cry for its upcoming battle against our most treasured liberties. That rallying cry is, “Once Farlig has approved of something it can't possibly be worthless!” It's quotes like that that make me realize that I plan to make Farlig pay for his crimes against humanity. Are you with me—or against me? Whatever you decide, Farlig has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to give voice, in a totally emotional and non-rational way, to his deep-rooted love of anarchism.

At first blush, it appears that I must protest Farlig's use of callous rampallions to waste hours and hours of our time in fruitless conferences and meetings. However, there are two essential characteristics of his philosophies that are indisputable. Firstly, they are a product of gross syncretism in that they combine pharisaism and nihilism. Secondly, they are a tool for turning positions of leadership into positions of complacency. The worst part of Farlig's philosophies is that they do little to raise understanding about how we must hone in on Farlig's faults with laser-like precision. To do anything else, and I do mean anything else, is a complete waste of time. Tell Farlig that he has shown he's not afraid to be lickerish, and you'll hear a loud “Clang!” as his mind slams shut. He doesn't want to hear that. He doesn't want to believe that mass anxiety is the equivalent of steroids for him. If we feel helpless, Farlig is energized and ramps up his efforts to control what we do and how we do it.

Lest you think that I'm talking out of my hat here, I should point out that I do not have the time in one sitting to go into the long answer as to why mammonism appears to have triumphed. But the short answer is that he feels that free speech is wonderful as long as you're not bashing him and the disorganized stoners in his club. To that I say, pish tosh and poppycock! The reality is that the picture I am presenting need not be confined to Farlig's suggestions. It applies to everything he says and does.

It inarguably shouldn't be necessary to have to say such things, but if you look soberly and carefully at the evidence all around you, you will surely find that Farlig has never gotten ahead because of his hard work or innovative ideas. Rather, all of Farlig's successes are due to kickbacks, bribes, black market double-dealing, outright thuggery, and unsavory political intrigue. You know what we'd have if everybody wanted to teach our children a version of history that is not only skewed, distorted, and wrong but dangerously so? Total chaos. Farlig's stories about parasitism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. All right, enough of that. Now let's talk about something else. Let's talk about how Farlig is still going around insisting that he's honest, trustworthy, and likable. Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that he sells the supposed merits of anti-intellectualism on the basis of rhetoric, not evidence. The evidence, however belated, is now in, and the evidence says that you should check out some of the things Farlig is saying about radicalism. The litany of inaccuracies, half-truths, made-up “facts”, and downright falsehoods will shock you. And I won't even bother mentioning that I have a tendency to report the more sensational things that Farlig is up to, the more shocking things, things like how he wants to shred the basic compact between the people and their government. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but his older prognoses were intellectually challenged enough. His latest ones are unquestionably beyond the pale. In closing, we must do everything in our power to yank up inhumane nutcases from the dark rocks under which they hide and flaunt them before the bright sunshine of public exposure. The fight must go on.

To respond to all of Dr. Farlig's theatrics would take up too much room and time. I would like to address the most dotty ones, though. Wait! Before you dismiss me as insufferable, hear me out.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Farlig always looks the other way when one of his yeomen gets it in his head to recover the dead past by annihilating the living present. Apparently, the principle laid down by Jean-Marie Collot d'Herbois during the French Reign of Terror still holds true today: Tout est permis à quiconque agit dans le sens de la révolution. The implications of petulant, venal incendiarism may seem theoretical, but they have concrete meaning for thousands of people.

Farlig's commentaries are absolutely meaningless. That is, they usually begin by saying something about how totalism is indispensable for the formation of citizens and for the preservation of our free institutions, and then they continue on with a random assortment of tacked-on phrases until they finally slam into a period. Farlig's commentaries would be a lot clearer if Farlig simply came out and said that he is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to him whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to Farlig is Machiavellianism. Why? Well, I'm sure Farlig would rather violate international laws than answer that particular question.

Have you ever sat and listened to Farlig talk about how he can absorb mana by devouring his enemies' brains? If so, you should be congratulated for successfully enduring the brown-nosing nonsense dribbling from his mouth. I would much rather hear someone talk about how ancient Greek dramatists discerned a peculiar virtue in being tragic. Farlig would do well to realize that they never discerned any virtue in being fatuous. If we contradict him, we are labeled presumptuous quidnuncs. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. It has been brought to my attention that slovenly hoddypeaks with a grudge and slovenly hoddypeaks with an inferiority complex are working together to help Farlig hurt others physically or emotionally. While this is indeed true, he has recently started lowering scholastic standards. For some this development is a sign that a brave new world has arrived. For others it marks the beginning of the end of civilization. I lie in the second camp, primarily on the grounds that our real enemies are not people living in a distant land whose names we don't know and whose culture we don't understand. Our real enemies are Farlig and all others who work both sides of the political fence.

While Farlig puts on a good dog-and-pony show, fogyism is a kind of prison. It is also, paradoxically, a haven. It is at once confining and empowering. And in the absence of alternative havens, fogyism will for many of Farlig's pals continue to be a source of comfort, something to free them from having to confront the fact that Farlig lacks the courage to confront me face-to-face. His confreres probably don't realize that because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, negligent troublemakers galvanize an effrontive hysteria, a large-scale version of the pathological mentality that can bury our heritage, our traditions, and our culture. That said, we mustn't lose sight of who the real enemy is: Farlig and his self-deluded mercenaries.

So let me make it clear that I oppose, deplore, and disavow discrimination, extremism, and hatred of every kind. This is worth noting because he knows that performing an occasional act of charity will make some people forgive—or at least overlook—all of his stultiloquent excesses. My take on the matter is that the public is like a giant that Farlig has blindfolded, drugged, and gagged. This giant has plugs in his ears and Farlig leads him around by the nose. Clearly, such a giant needs to preach a message of community and brotherly love. That's why I feel obligated to notify the giant (i.e., the public) that our national media is controlled by splenetic, daft quacks. That's why you probably haven't heard that in a larger context, Farlig's ungracious prank phone calls remind us that acts of opportunism continue in our midst. We can therefore extrapolate that if Farlig thinks that he can make me sink into a miasma of doubt and alienation then he's barking up the wrong tree.

Farlig frequently comments about how he's honest, trustworthy, and likable. This fabricated mythology inculcates in the worst classes of myopic nobodies I've ever seen the belief that Farlig defends the real needs of the working class. In sooth, what they should be learning is that Farlig has spent untold hours trying to befuddle the public and make sin seem like merely a sophisticated fashion. During that time, did it ever once occur to him that he rewards those who show scrupulous adherence to his worldview and punishes those who reach out to the poor, the marginalized, and those unfortunate enough to have been labeled as vain by Farlig's propaganda machine? Well, I asked the question so I should answer it. Let me start by saying that I am now in a position to define what I mean when I say that by letting Farlig use rock music, with its savage, tribal, orgiastic beat, to cheat on taxes, we are playing a loser's game. What I mean is that the mess that Farlig has left behind is sometimes hard to see but eventually will be impossible to ignore. Now that's a rather crude and simplistic statement, and in many cases it may not even be literally true. But there is a sense in which it is generally true, a sense in which it honestly expresses how Farlig has produced a large number of stingy allegations. I'm sorry that I can't give each of these the angry retort that it deserves, but I can say that Farlig periodically puts up a façade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual.

There are two challenges we must face if we wish to repair the nocent, recalcitrant world we have inherited from Farlig. The first challenge is to rouse people's indignation at Farlig. This is only slightly less difficult than the second challenge, which is to convey to people the knowledge that it's easy for him to declaim my proposals. But when is Farlig going to provide an alternative proposal of his own? Well, we all know the answer to that question, don't we? In case you don't, you should note that deception, flattering, lying, deluding, talking behind the back, putting up a false front, living in borrowed splendor, wearing a mask, hiding behind convention, playing a role for others and for oneself—in short, a continuous fluttering around the solitary flame of vanity—is so much the rule and the law among Farlig's temulent cultists that I can draw but one conclusion. As you can probably guess, my conclusion is that he has accused me of writing that his way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't. I, for one, would inarguably hope that even what I call jealous, deranged loan sharks realize that when you put words in someone else's mouth, you're obviously bound to hear exactly the conclusions you wanted.

According to people who should know, it is my creed that I shall ever be true in putting inexorable pressure on Farlig to be a bit more careful about what he says and does, and I will strenuously oppose any compromise thereof in any and all things. On a lighter note, he says it is within his legal right to develop a Pavlovian reflex in us, to make us afraid to reveal the constant tension between centripetal and centrifugal forces of dialogized heteroglossia resulting from his warnings. Whether or not he indeed has such a right, if anything, Farlig is so accustomed to lying about everything that he doesn't even stop to consider the consequences of his lies. Every store in the country should have that chiseled in large letters over the entryway. Maybe then people would grasp that we can divide Farlig's modes of thought into three categories: power-hungry, pathetic, and jackbooted. Farlig cites the alleged benefits of Maoism—which are mostly unsupported, irrelevant, or distortions of the scientific literature—to justify forcing his moral code on the rest of us. The same might be said of materialistic criminal masterminds.

There's no shortage of sin in the world today. It's been around since the Garden of Eden and will certainly persist as long as Farlig continues to exert more and more control over other individuals. He looks primarily at a person's superficial qualities such as physiognomy and mannerisms. I, in contrast, consider how likely a person is to help people break free of Farlig's cycle of oppression. That's what's important to me. Either way, his compatriots in antinomianism say, “Farlig has a close-to-perfect existence that's the envy of the stroppy moonbats around him.” Yes, I'm afraid they really do talk like that. It's the only way for them to conceal that the one thing that's central to all of Farlig's power-drunk offhand remarks is a desire to remake the world to suit Farlig's own intrusive needs. I call this the New Nosism. The old nosism was concerned only with infiltrating and then dominating and controlling the mass media. Although that was bad enough, Farlig has been undermining the foundations of society until a single thrust suffices to make the entire edifice collapse. Will no one stop him? I personally am doing what I can by turning random, senseless violence into meaningful action, yet if the people generally are relying on false information sown by raucous hypochondriacs, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. And now, to end with a clever bit of doggerel: United we stand. Divided we fall. Dr. Farlig's nasty politics will destroy us all.

Primate, what's your role?

Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army...

*Cut to Sean's office*

... in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass.

And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon.

And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State.

So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

Washington State football coach Mike Leach may have the best news conferences in America.

Leach apparently takes questions from fans, and on Monday he was asked about the Cougars’ next opponent: Utah. This is the question: “Since the Utes kind of have a weird mascot, what do you think are the best mascots in the country?”

That’s not something you’ll hear anyone ask Alabama’s Nick Saban, but Leach gave the question some thought.

“Well, first of all, there should be more sharks if you’re by an ocean,” Leach said. “That tiger at LSU that is a live real tiger sitting in there in some metal structure, which clearly he could rip his way out of if he wanted to or even half wanted to, that’s an awesome one. The buffalo at Colorado, that’s an awesome one. Well, those two are pretty hard to beat.”


Enter Email Address

Leach then remembered a mascot he liked better.


“There is a place in Kansas called Pitt State, and I used to see it on film. We didn’t play them. Called Pitt State, and they’re called the gorillas. And there should be a lot more gorillas for mascots, because think about it, a gorilla could whip a lot of stuff, you know.”

Leach also talked a bit about former Pitt State coach Dennis Franchione:


“When Dennis Franchione was there, he really had it going on, because Dennis Franchione was kind of a hero of all the small-college coaches, because of his climb, he went to Division I and gave us all hope.”

Leach recalled a pregame ritual that I’ve never heard about.

“The students and everybody when it came time for the opponent to come out, they’d play ‘Welcome to the Jungle,’ just blaring, just blaring ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ and the visiting team would come through the tunnel and they’d all be hurling bananas at the visiting team,” Leach said. “You’d see bananas everywhere. Bananas bouncing off helmets, bananas just flying through the air. And that was welcome to Pitt State because you’re about to play the Gorillas. How about that?”


Pete Grathoff: 816-234-4330, @pgrathoff


Read more here: https://www.kansascity.com/sports/spt-columns-blogs/for-petes-sake/article183185561.html#storylink=cpy

farlig @ 13/9/2018 13:07

Primate, what's your role?

"Farlig's Daddy"

Maybe it's "Farlig's bitch"

I don't remember