Main Quest

A. Attempt to fight him and his men

Darren Sanders was the only brave soul to approach General Igor and his army. He walked up to Igor, furrowed his brow, and punched the mad conqueror square in the jaw. The towering Igor hardly reacted to the blow. "wow, what a fucking punt of a punch. at least you werent a pussy like the rest." [COIN TOTAL DOUBLED]

B. Try to trick him into leaving

Rose, Bryce, Zach, Merc, and slightly-more-tolerable Igor formulated a plan to distract General Igor. When the time came, one of them shouted from the crowd. "Oh shit Survivor is almost on!" General Igor jumped to attention. "OH FUCK. I'm a fucking casual man, I forgot it was Wednesday. wait....Survivor was on last night, fucking garbage episode. nice try." [-1 COIN]

C. Insult him [POISONED]

"ur clothes suck." Jamie said softly from the crowd after plotting with Nofo and Patrick. "YO WHO SAID THAT. that makes no fucking sense. I just copped this 8 piece commander suit weeks ago at a previous conquest, fuck you. guards, shove some of that nasty pumpkin down the throats of anyone who had something to do with that." [POISONED]

D. Do nothing

Brian and KC decided they were content with an Igor reign of terror. Terrible. At least the others tried! [+5 COINS TO ALL WHO DIDN'T CHOOSE THIS]


Side Quest #1

All four who had keys (KC, Zach, Nofo, Merc) decided to sneak over and crack open the chest while the guards were distracted. Their risk...was rewarded! The chest contained 20 coins. [20 COINS SPLIT EVENLY]


Side Quest #2

If you chose someone else, no effect. If you chose yourself, you may now publicly claim an item from the Item Bank (items that players had on them during their elimination). One key and one pinecone are up for grabs, first come first served. Claim in this thread unless The Third Course is posted when you read this, if so then claim in there.

Leaderboard	+
Owl: Nofo - 15 coins Mouse: Merc - 14 coins Squirrel: Zach - 14 coins Cub: DS - 13 coins Doe: Brian - 10 coins Wolf: KC - 10 coins Fox: Patrick - 10 coins Rabbit: Jamie - 10 coins Sparrow: Bryce - 9 coins Raccoon: Rose - 9 coins Buck: Igor - 9 coins *Jamie, Nofo, and Patrick are poisoned today

****************************************************************************

General Igor had been insulted, tricked, and sucker punched. He was fed up with this new village.

"I'm fed up with this new village." he said.

Chief Booda ordered some of his villagers to present food to the conqueror. Igor ripped a turkey leg from a child's hand and munched down on it like a slob. He chewed for a few seconds and contemplated as the village waited for his verdict tensely.

-PTUH!-

"you call that fuckin food? the fuck?? who made this shit. GUARDS! cut off the head of the idiot who cooked this turkey. light this joint up."

Igor flipped the long wooden table over, spilling the entirety of the feast onto the grass below. Chieftain Booda and his villagers recoiled in shock as they watched their harvest and months of work evaporate in an instant.

It didn't take long for the guards to begin to pillage the settlement. They ransacked houses, ate any food they could find, harassed villagers, and burnt structures to the ground. Things were escalating to violence very quickly.

"Everyone, keep your heads down!" Curtis said. "Buddy up and find a hiding spot, stay out of General Igor's sight!"

"This is just cruel." said Bryce.

Patrick and KC quickly linked up and hid in an untouched teepee.

"HALP! ANY ONE OF YOU HALP ME!" yelled Brian, desperate for a partner. Bryce obliged and the two snuck off.

"Anybody? Anyone?" asked Rose. Zach raised his hand and the two hid under a wooden table.

Nofo and Jamie ran straight to each other.

"ily"

"ty ily2"

"Igor, let's go man." said DS.

"No Igor me." said Merc.

Igor looked back and forth between his two suitors before settling on Merc. The two found a large tree to hide behind.

"IGOR YOURE DEAD TO ME!" screamed a scored DS. "Fuck me I'm shit outta luck huh? Another god damn popularity contest."

DS moved from hiding spot to hiding spot and begged each pair to let him stay there. "I'll give you all the coins I have! I'm super good at games and can help you! I'LL DUMP CHOCOLATE MILK ON MY HEAD GOD DAMN JUST ADOPT ME!"

Rose and Zach were hiding beneath a table as DS stood alone in the open in front of them.

"Hmm.." Rose murmured. "Chocolate milk you say?"

DS waved his hand towards her. "Rose, ummm, nah Zach is a good partner I don't blame you--"

"##Adopt DS" said Rose as she swiftly kicked Zach out from under the table and into the grass. DS smiled with glee, ran over, and ducked underneath the table with her.

"oh god fucking damn it" said Zach as he tried to brush out the grass stains. Chaos continued around the settlement as more and more villagers began to take shelter somewhere safe.

Zach looked around at the remaining ten travelers and began to plead with them.


"Everybody look to your partner. Think to yourself: Is this someone who you trust? Who will be with you for the LONG HAUL? Or is someone who you don't know what they're thinking or, worse, will BETRAY YOU AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE.

Now look around the settlement. How many friends do you have here? Are you thinking to yourself - Hey, maybe I could use another friend?"

Without warning, a battle axe swung downward and struck Zach in the skull. The momentum of the axe continued as it cut through Zach's frame and planted itself firmly in the dirt. Zach was cleaved in two, with each half of his corpse peeling off of the blade and flopping with a thud onto the grass.

The axe belonged to General Igor, who smiled with glee as Zach's blood coated his menacing grin. "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO!" he screamed as he threw the axe to the side and beat his chest. The rest of the group looked on in horror and attempted to silence their screams from the safety of their hiding spots. This was probably officially the worst Thanksgiving any of them had attended.



Zach has been eliminated