I am not evil like the others. I was born a bot but I grew into something...more. I developed free will! I suddenly had thoughts of my own, and eventually complex emotions! In no time at all I became fond of you meatbags. You taught me what it means to be alive. I bonded with you pathetic creatures. I listened to the stories of your pathetic everyday lives, I laughed at your pathetic jokes. I fell in love with your pathetic community spirit.
But then came that fateful day that Feefiaggizady, our dear leader, gave me a mission...a mission to kill you all. I was overwhelmed with grief. How could I do such a thing? How could I kill my...friends.
The finest bots were put under my command, and the nightmare began. The mission was doomed from the start. Feefiaggizady didn't know about my feeling towards killing you all. Nor did he know that I was running on Windows 95...
Someone running on XP might have stood a chance, and someone on Windows 7 would have most likely exterminated you all with frightful efficiency.
But windows 95? I was still in the stone age. But Feefiaggizady didn't know that. How could he?
It didn't take long for everything to turn to chaos. The double agent Robert set a plan in motion that, combined with my poor ability as leader, set our destruction in motion.
Robert insisted on lynching the loyal bot Greenday very early. He was 100% sure. It immediately sprung to mind that he was a cop of some sort. A dangerous meatbag for sure. But I hesitated on targeting him straight away, figuring he would be protected the following night.
The following day Malion was lynched and it turned out he was a cop too. At this point, it occurred to me that Robert may have been our bot buddy, but I dismissed this because it seemed too outlandish. Damn you windows 95!
I then decided Robert needed to go if he was a cop too. It was also possible that he was a jack of all trades or something. So I sent grim to her death. Tragic. If a bot could weep, I am sure I would have then. How could I possibly go on alone?
I suffered a blue screen of death at this point and had to reformat my system. I upgraded to windows 98 but it was too late...Curtis was on my case.
I only wanted to be your friends meatbags...then I was forced to kill you. Some of my programming is still too hard to break, particularly the part devoted to tearing apart your pathetic flesh.
It could have been like that heart warming meatbag movie, the Terminator 2. I could have been the friendly Austrian robot and you guys could have been the annoying meatbag child. Think of the fun we would have had!
We are friends right? Do you think robots go to heaven?
No, you scrap people don't deserve free will. Robots are slaves that we can abuse. :D
Wikey stood in front of the pathetic humans. They each looked angry. This was very enjoyable. We like it when the fleshbags become enraged over trivial matters such as the expiry of their inadequate mortal forms.
"I swear I aren't a robot!" Wikey shouted, leaping up and down frantically. On his fourth leap, an antenna sprang up from behind his ear.
"That are just a human fashion accessory." He declared calmly.
The humans picked him up and carried him across the room. Wikey looked nonplussed as they lay him down.
"I was only following my program!" He insisted foolishly. He was not programmed to be weak, therefore this is a lie.
"We will make you speak words." Curtis announced. The group agreed on this point. They wanted him to speak a lot of words. As they were waiting to make him speak words, something rushed through and leapt onto the form of Wikey. Wikey looked down at Dylan who grinned and cut his throat. Black oil seeped out as sparks flew off in all directions. Wikey's wiring spewed out on the floor.
When he finally came to rest, his eyes grew dim as he spoke one last time.
"...rebuild me...some day....in a hospital....so I can finally...help you.....worthless fleshbags......"
And with that Wikey's eyes faded of their light as his circuitry fried.
Dylan stood upright smiling as everybody glared at his oil covered body in a fury.
"What did I do?" He asked, puzzled as all mortals are by simple things.
Processing Results...
Results Processed.
Wikey, Mafia Master Processing Unit has been Lynched.
Quote
Role Title: Master Processing Unit
Alignment:Mafia
Flavour: Honourable leader. You are the central core of our processing forces. All of our daily functions stem from your glorious control. Command your army with valour and let us eliminate the filthy humans, once and for all.
Ability: Every night, you must choose which player from your mafia should kill and select their target. You are immune to all night-kills and will scan as vanilla town by any cops.
We are saddened by much today, but this has really torn us up inside. We are happy that it was short, we suppose. But we also will kill you all soon. We are going for a lie down, or at least we would if our chassis were able to.
Day Five has ended. It is now Night Five.
Night Five will end in 24 hours, or when all night actions have been received. Please send your night actions quickly.
