Dylan @ 7/12/2012 3:50

Their argument is actually pretty crappy. I've seen that argument for there isn't a God but I think it is widely accepted that if there is actually God he is pretty dang powerful (since he created a bunch of stuff). Just some people don't believe there is one or others believe he doesn't give a crap.

I personally believe He gives a crap. I just think life is engineered in such a way that He couldn't interfere without screwing it up on some colossal scale.

In other news, I think I'm just going to edit Hitler out of that picture and send it anyway.

I'm currently marking papers for one of my English professors, and that's yielded some interesting results. While I'm consistently amazed by how many people don't know that "townspeople" and "sleepwalking" are single words, I'm even more aghast at the sheer number of people who abuse semi-colons. They're one of the most nuanced pieces of punctuation in the English language, and almost nobody can use them correctly. It's like watching someone hammer in a nail using a Ming vase. I honestly don't know what thought process goes on in someone's head on that one. "Well, I'm not really sure how this piece of punctuation works. I could totally avoid using it with no effort whatsoever, but I think I'll go ahead and put twelve of 'em in there, in the only class where there's a 100% guarantee that they'll know instantly that I'm doing it wrong. That oughta prove I'm a genius."

But that's the annoying stuff. Where things get hilarious is in the syntax errors. My overall favorite is the guy who decided to try and turn a bland Hemingway story into an epic wartime romance thriller in the hopes that his flavour text would get him a higher mark; other amazing examples include the girl who managed to imply that Mina, the heroine of Dracula, gives birth while fighting him; same girl in the same essay inadvertently implied that Quincey Morris, upon being spurned by Lucy, proposed to Arthur Holmwood instead; two people got the name of the course wrong; three people got the professor's name wrong; there was only one guy in the entire class who ever mentioned the name of the boat in Life of Pi and he spelled it wrong every time; but the funniest error of all was from a guy who put a note in his bibliography thanking the guy who "proofred" it for him.

Good times.

EDIT: Actually, no. The ultimate best error of all time goes to the last essay in the pile. It was on Life of Pi, pretty brilliant all the way through, except for one small error. See, the entire thing is written in third person, right up until the last page, where you get this sentence:

"No matter which story you believe, in both stories the ship sinks and my entire family dies."

That's not him quoting the novel. According to the context, that's him literally referring to his own family. No matter which story I believe, in both of them, the ship sinks, and this poor university student's relatives, every last one of them, die as a result.

I don't know about you guys, but I have to respect this guy's style. He may be cruising for a B+, but he's gonna make darn sure that I know that he submitted that paper in between a really staggering number of funerals, none of which would have been necessary if I hadn't been dithering around wondering which story to believe. So, for all of you college kids out there, remember: there's no better way to cover up a grammatical error than to indirectly accuse the prof of killing your entire family.

I did ultimately just go ahead and submit the Hitler picture, after I showed it to a Theology major, whose only concern was how a Level 3 Hitler could inflict that much damage on a Level Infinity God.

My philosophy professor was reasonably amused, so I think I got away with it.

Well, classes have started up again, and if you've read anything in this thread, ever, you know exactly what that means: time for me and the RSU registry to have a little bit of fun at each other's expense.

I've paid cash every year, because I didn't have a credit card when I started university, and it was simpler to just drive over to the bank and withdraw a large envelope of money. I'm the only student who does this, and for some reason it screws up their system and they can never give me change. But, since I didn't have any other options, I just kept doing it. The academic calendars from before I started attending RSU all say "all payment types welcome," but because of me, now they all specifically ask students not to pay cash.

I'm only registered in a minimal course load this semester. This is partially due to the sheer number of course overloads that I've taken over the years, and partially due to the fact that I figured that if I completed all of my necessary credits in the first three years, I could spend my entire last year doing electives. (Believe it or not, this is actually a fridge-brilliant strategy. My graduating GPA is only calculated based on my last two years, which means that all of the As I pick up for taking introductory classes in my fourth year will give negate the two B+s I received in my first year.) The end result is that I have Tuesdays and Thursdays off until 6:30 PM, and don't start a single class before 1. Since I have a minimal course load, but a lot of scholarships, the end result is that my tuition was already paid in full.

But because Rob State doesn't have a process for students who actually owe negative tuition, I was still required to show up and make a payment. Accordingly, I received an email asking me to show up at a specific time, being ready to pay off my full debt: $1.00

I showed up promptly on time, marched up to the desk, and told them I was here to pay my tuition. Naturally, the clerk was a bit befuddled, but asked me how I wanted to pay. Naturally, I told them I'd like to sign up for the monthly instalment plan.

Believe it or not, literally the only reason why that wasn't allowed was because I hadn't provided necessary banking information, and didn't have a blank cheque on me. Sadly, I only actually had 80 cents in my pocket, so the remaining 20% of my tuition was paid by a benevolent registry clerk who'd been watching the whole affair.

On a semi-related note, I'm one of the candidates for valedictorian, and the head registrar is on the selection committee. I'd really love to see his reaction when my name gets brought up in the discussion...

Okay, so. It's not that random crap hasn't been happening to me over the past few months, it's that the crap that's been happening to me hasn't been so much the "OMG I had to run from my life from a homeless man" sort of crap as the "I just kind of want to lay down and cry" sort of crap.

There were only two candidates for valedictorian, so the registry actually sent out emails reminding everybody to submit their nomination forms. Three more get added. This, to me, was rather ridiculous. Admittedly, this is only my first time graduating from a post-secondary institution, but I'm of the opinion that if someone's too lazy to deliver the nomination form without a reminder perhaps they're not really valedictorian material. To put this in perspective, RSU's entire campus, including all of the various departments, faculty offices, and eight floors of residence apartments, is contained in one building. There are students who show up to class in sandals in -40 weather, because they don't have to go outside to go to class. The registry is literally located in the middle of the entire campus. Unless those three people were exiting the building and walking all the way around it every single time they went to class, they probably had upwards of seventy opportunities to hand the form in, and didn't. So several weeks pass, during which probably three of the candidates fill out the survey, and nobody else does. They actually had to extend the deadline due to lack of responses. Eventually, I get a letter informing me that I haven't won.

Now, this all would be fine and dandy with me, if not for what happened next. See, when the valedictorian process was explained to us, we were told that we would be evaluated based on both our grades and the student survey. What I actually found out from a friend who works in the registry is that what they actually meant by this was that we would be evaluated only on the student survey, and nothing else. Grades are only brought into consideration if there's a tie for most popular. So not only would I have increased my chances of winning by skipping classes to go to parties, but the school actually straight up lied to me about the selection process.

Let me put this in perspective. I'm going for acceptance into an Ivy League doctorate program. To be able to even apply to most of those places, you need to have a cumulative GPA north of 3.5 overall, north of 3.8 in your major. Even with those restrictions, each school gets upwards of 450 applicants a year. They each accept about... oh, 14 or so, in a good year. Every single one of those applicants is qualified as balls, and have been padding their extracurricular activities for years. The difference between getting in and getting cut is razor thin, and the lack of a valedictorian credit is a huge blow, since it's a fair wager that the vast majority of applicants will have been at the top of their classes. Since the only students who get > 3.8 GPAs are students who have to work their butts off instead of attending social functions, by making the student survey the only factor, RSU has pretty much essentially guaranteed that the students who need the valedictorian title won't get it, especially since ninety percent of the class couldn't be bothered to fill out the darn thing in the first place.

And here's the kicker. Apparently, RSU used to choose valedictorians based on grades, but the students objected. That's right. My school objects to the idea that the person who works the hardest and achieves the most should get to be recognized as the best student, to the point of lying about it. They would rather leave it in the hands of the students - who couldn't possibly have cared less. (As if to underscore this point, they asked the 100+ graduands to each donate $20.00 to bestow a gift on the university. The 2012 class raised enough to run waterlines into one of the least accessible areas of the campus and install a new water fountain. Our class raised about $300, which we used to buy a banner. It would have been $320 but I decided that if everybody forgot that the 2013 class ever existed it wouldn't really upset me that much).

Damn, that system sucks. Good on you not donating them a cent.

300 dollars for a banner? I don't do a lot of banner shopping but that must of been a nice banner.

Bachelor party today! I spent an hour in the police station, got to chat with some firemen, and I have powder burns on my hands.

To put that in context, we spent the better part of today playing video games and just generally nerding out. Then we went out for dinner, and one of my friends hardcore rear-ended one of my groomsmen, so then we had to wait for emergency crews to arrive and pronounce everybody uninjured, then I waited with them in the police station until they processed the paperwork. Then we went to the shooting range, and I apparently can't hold a .44 magnum for crap, and mildly burned my thumb and part of my left hand. But I pegged my zombie target through the brain, so I have no regrets.

NO STRIPPERS?!?

Getting married in the morning. Wish me luck, everyone but Henry!

Good luck on your F2!

Good luck, Rob!

Tell us about the random crap that happens to you at your wedding and honeymoon when you get back!

Good luck Rob, hope it's a perfect day :)

Dr. Fröken Drr @ 25/5/2013 0:51

Tell us about the random crap that happens to you at your wedding and honeymoon when you get back!

I don't want to know what happened at his honeymoon

Good luck!