Vernon is gonna get paired up with a fat chick, I can just see it happening

My Grouper experience:

For some reason I was a bit nervous at first going in there, but when I'm on solo dates I'm not nervous at all. I guess it was because my 2 boys were with me? I don't get it.

We got there right on time and got a booth outside on the patio and ordered drinks. The girls arrived. None of them were ugly. None of them were hot. They were all just generally good looking. One red headed short girl. One artsy looking black haired ho. And one asian girl.

I'm good on dates so I constantly broke the ice and spoke up to make sure there were no awkward silences. Turns out 2 of the girls went to fucking college in the middle of nowehere with my roommate, but they didnt know each other. But they did know my other roommate (not on the date), barely.

So things were off to a swell start, we all ordered drinks, and then another round!

I was trying to hit it off with the red head but she was alllll the way across from me which made it difficult. Me and the artsy girl hit it off but she said she lived with her parents still and I always had to press her to speak up, otherwise she'd just be silent. The asian chick was the nicest of the group (surprise lol!!) and she kept hitting on me as I tried to talk to the other girls.

Finally I realized that she was just really cool and talked to her more. Tons of similarities and she was just an interesting gal. BUT... a teacher! Which basically means she doesn't like to get wasted in public, right? That's my take on teachers at least.

I suggest.... ROUND OF SHOTS!!!

The girls are all hesitating like "Nahhh...." but I figured I could convince them. The red head girl started showing her bitchy side slowly, saying she would never do a shot.

HOT waitress comes around and asks if we want more drinks.

"SHOTS!" I shout excitedly!

Red head girl gives me the fucking evil eye and says "If you listened to me you would remember that I said I didn't want shots."

I get pissed off and do the whole "OHHHHHH, wow sassy!!!"

We get in a little argument, half jokingly but half-fuck-you and finally order 5 shots, and 1 drink for the red headed bitch.

Shots come we do them and I make a remark at the red headed girl a bit. She gives me another bitchy remark. After a bit more talking it's clear that my friend has the most in common with artsy girl and red head girl as they obsess over fucking Girls, New Girl, and Mindy Project. I sat there with my jaw open, trying not to laugh that my friend knew so much about those shows.

Walking Dead? Game of Thrones? House of Cards??? No....? None of you???? Gah..........

The night comes to a close, the girls panties are getting restless. Red head girl suggests they go to another bar, but no invite for us as I would expect.

The asian girl and I exchange numbers. She tells me we should do dinner as we live very near each other and she wants to show me her favorite KBBQ spot. OK... I could do that. I love new food places and she is a nice gal.

We all stand up and are about to leave but my friend doesn't have the balls to ask for either of the other girl's numbers. He's very new to dating and is, as the gamers say, a noob. They're about to leave so I just say.

"So like... can we get your numbers or something... so we can maybe do something again."

Red girl gives me the bitch stare. "Um. I would never give you my number."

She turns to my boy and tells him to add her on Facebook. OK, good. At least I helped him out. I didn't want her number, I just wanted him to have it.

The girls leave. We go to sushi. WHAT, YOU'RE CLOSED!!?!?! Ok, we go next door for pizza and hit on the pizza girl.

Get back to my place and my other roommate and Sansa are having a fuckin party! 5 random people I don't know over the house drinking and smoking.

Solid night until I tried to go to bed and they were all loud as FUCK.

Would I do Grouper again? Eh, yeah.

I enjoyed it but wish the girls were better. Honestly, I like one-on-one dates better. I can work well off of one girl better than 3. It's kind of the "friend effect," where you're different around your friends. I bet if I was on a singular date with the red head then we'd honestly hit it off. Things were going well with us for most of the night. Also, the initial fee for the date was $22, first round on Grouper. It's too much money I think.

I could do just as well by going to the bar and meeting girls...

It's all about the experience, and being guaranteed a meet with new girls. That's it really.

So yeah I would do it again, but I'm not going to go crazy trying to make it happen.

The End.

Was the asian girls name Rita?

How much was the fee? I hope the brain behind Grouper is making bank.

Fee is $22 and first round of drinks on Grouper. But then of course all the other drinks you buy... you're buying. So yes they're definitely making money.

And no, her name was not Rita. It was Gilbert.

I just woke up to find the weirdest shit ever, and I'm not even counting the fact that my hangover's actually not so bad right now.

1.) I open up my computer and Katy Perry "Dark Horse" starts BLASTING. wtf?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9S-88WxPdE

2.) I go into the living room to grab a glass of water. One dude passed out on one couch. A girl on another. And then a dude lying on the floor even though there's still one more couch not being used. Uhhh ok...

3.) One of our kitchen lights is just completely shattered. Glass all over the floor and I was barefoot... Cleaned that shit up real quick.

4.) I open up my phone and see that one of my good girl friends almost "came home" with me. That probably wouldn't have been good lol.

5.) I go through my photos........ this is where shit gets really weird...

First a selfie with Sansa... ok.... that's normal.

Then a selfie with this girl... then another girl...

Then a photo of two girls skateboarding in my room.... wtf??

Then the most ultimate selfie ever, with............

Spoiler	+

LOL!

I totally remember running into last night, and I was with this chick on the way to the next bar, on the most random road ever. And he was walking past us and I just drunkenly slurred,

"STEVIE!!! What are you doing here man!?!???"

He goes, "Hey buddy, just got off a comedy show!"

And I just remember laughing thinking how hilarious it was that he was just like, there. On this random road in the middle of nowhere haha. So we had to take a selfie.

Yep. Great night! :)

I like to think I'd notice if a neighbor went missing for 6 years but I doubt I would. :$

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=28969980&nid=

who

Vernon is kwite the social butterfly among Z-list celebrities

Vernon met alan rickman? Sweet

I'm actually jealous of this one. Dude was fucking constantly hilarious throughout Eastbound and Down.

Where are my NASCAR people? Before I propose the idea of going to a race I need to figure out how much tickets will actually cost. ;) So, any recommendations on choosing seat location? Is the middle price range usually fairly decent? Any general areas to avoid?

Home alone tonight watching Amazing Race, Walking Dead, and True Detective with 10 boxes of girlscout cookies sitting right across the room.


How many boxes do I finish?