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Murder in the Amazon; The Story of the Reunion of FE in 50 Years
 
Quizmaster Vern!
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Post #1: 25th Feb 2014 9:10 PM 



MURDER IN THE AMAZON





50 YEARS FROM TODAY.




Paco rocks back and forth on his rocking chair, staring at the sun as he does every day. His back aches, muscles are tense, but the back and forth creaking of his chair somehow soothes his mind.

The postman walks past his path and nods at Paco, as he does daily.

"Morning mister Geezer!"

Paco snarled as the nice postman scurried away. He shuffled to his mailbox at the white picket fence of his house and sorted through the mail.

"Bullshit... Bullshit.... HORSESHIT.... Bullshit..... Bull- "

He paused at one peculiar letter, sealed carefully with a Garyface.

Paco recognized this face. But it was one had hadn't seen in practically 50 years.

He was in shock. "It can't be..."

Paco quickly opened up the envelope and studied the innards. Nothing but one sheet of paper. He read it aloud:


My friend Paco Geezer.

It is time to claim the long-awaited Treasure of FE. Meet us in the Amazon. Address on the back.

If you want your share of the fortune, be there in exactly 17 days, on February 2nd.

It has been a long, long time. Cannot wait to see you.

Your friend,

Von Paulus



Paco looked up at the sun once more. The day was finally here...




But little did he know.............








............ there would soon be.......










MURDER... IN THE AMAZON!!!!!



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Curtis
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Post #2: 25th Feb 2014 9:13 PM 
Holy shit.............
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KC
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Post #3: 25th Feb 2014 9:18 PM 
Vernon of 2014 @ 25/2/2014 19:10
on February 2nd.


Uh oh
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Nobert
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Post #4: 25th Feb 2014 11:38 PM 
k guess I shouldn't be that excited for this anymore
 
   
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Post #5: 25th Feb 2014 11:40 PM 
Nobert @ 25/2/2014 22:38
k guess I shouldn't be that excited for this anymore

wut
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Nobert
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Post #6: 25th Feb 2014 11:43 PM 
Boc @ 25/2/2014 23:40
Nobert @ 25/2/2014 22:38
k guess I shouldn't be that excited for this anymore

wut


the date has passed (:
 
   
Quizmaster Vern!
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Post #7: 25th Feb 2014 11:43 PM 
Many of you will make an appearance in this. And many of you... might... die.
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Quizmaster Vern!
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Post #8: 25th Feb 2014 11:43 PM 
Nobert @ 26/2/2014 5:43
Boc @ 25/2/2014 23:40
Nobert @ 25/2/2014 22:38
k guess I shouldn't be that excited for this anymore

wut


the date has passed (:


Jeff maybe you missed the part where this is a story and it takes place 50 years later? :D
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Post #9: 26th Feb 2014 12:13 AM 
wow
 
   
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Post #10: 26th Feb 2014 12:19 AM 
Im not going to be alive in 50 years.
"So, uh, what are we saying here? If we save LA from a nuclear bomb, then you and I can get together for dinner and a movie?"
   
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Post #11: 26th Feb 2014 12:20 AM 
Dylan @ 25/2/2014 22:19
Im not going to be alive in 50 years.


What an optimistic outlook on life.
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Zersch
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Post #12: 26th Feb 2014 12:35 AM 
Already looking forward to the sequel "Love in the Himalayas".
Spoiler+
   
Quizmaster Vern!
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Post #13: 26th Feb 2014 12:35 AM 
Blood in the Himalayas.
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Post #14: 26th Feb 2014 2:01 AM 



MURDER IN THE AMAZON





THE STORY OF FE 50 YEARS FROM TODAY







Longtime lovers, Matt and Sam, held hands as they slowly approached a dock at the edge of the river. The floorboards creaked beneath their feet with every step they took as fog seeped in-between the cracks.



An eerie feeling came over there, almost as if they were being watched.



Matt turned to Samm. "This is where it said for us to meet..."


Samm looked concerned. "This place smells like a frat house! Eww!"


Matt forced a smile. "You bitch :)"


Samm continued, "And I definitely just stepped in mud!"





"Quit you're yappin!" someone shouted.




Matt and Samm jumped backwards and leapt into one another's arms! "Hello?!? ...."



"Well I'll be damned," the man said as he approached them. "I always had a feelin you two were sausage handlers!"



The man stepped out from the shadowy jungle of the Amazon. He had a surly beard and his clothes were absolutely disheveled. He also smelt of his own urine, mixed with, milk was it?



"Hello Matthew. Hello Sammuel," he said.



Matt and Samm turned to one another, perplexed. "Sorry do we know you?"



"It's me! Simplton!"



Matt and Samm looked at each other again, confused.



"Corey. AKA Simplton. You don't remember me?"



Samm spoke up. "Listen bitch. Sorry to interrupt but I'm having a lot of trouble thinking right now because your foul odor is rotting my brain cells!"


Matt butted in. "Excuse my wife, she's sassy! Simplton, I think I remember you.... you're the guy who was always drinking all the time, right?? From Boston?"



Simplton frowned. "Heck no, man. C'mon! I was the first one to pour milk on my head and- "



"OH! THE MILK BOWL GUY!" Matt laughed. "That was so so funny!"


Samm grinned. "And have you washed yourself since?"



Simplton shrugged. "So I take it ya'll got the letter too? Sealed with the Garyball and whatnot, right?"



Matt nodded. "That's right. Led us right to this dock. Said to meet here for further instructions."


Simplton nodded, "Yup, I got the same damned thing! I need this money man! I been moving all over the country. Living with my dad. My stepdad. My dad's stepdad. His mom's stepson. My dog's mom's stepdad! Goddamn I can't keep moving anymore! I need this money so I can finally settle down in my own trailer!"


Matt and Samm understood. "Yeah, we need our share of the FE treasure just as bad. Do you remember 50 years ago when getting married cost less than 50 bucks? Now for gays to get married it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars! We don't have that kind of money."


Samm hissed, "WE WOULD IF YOU DIDN'T SPEND IT ALL ON WIGS AND THROW PILLOWS, MATT!!"


"Baby I told you we NEEDED those throw pillows!"


"WE DID NOT NEED THEM!! WE DID NOT!! FOR THE LAST TIME!"


"How can you say that we didn't need the throw pillows, Samm? HOW?!? They made the apartment!



"Hey quit you're yappin you two!" Simplton interrupted. "I think I see something..."



They all turned to the river as a rowboat crept toward them through the fog. It pulled right up to the dock and quietly laid there. There was no one in the boat... it was empty... but they noticed a piece of paper resting within.


Matt leapt on to the boat and read the note aloud:



Thank you four for joining us.

You are one step closer to gaining your share of the lost Treasure of FE.

Step aboard the boat and sail north until you hit the next immediate dock. There, you will receive further entertainment.

Your friend,

Von Paulus




Simplton turned to Samm and Matt. "Now, I ain't the brightest but did you just say... four...?"


Matt nodded. "Yeah... Yeah! It said four!"


Samm was terrified and jumped into the boat with Matt. "Let's keep moving! This place is really creeping me out!"


Simplton hopped into the boat, almost tipping it over. He snatched the note from Matt's hand and turned it over. "Hey! Hey! It says our names!"



He read it aloud:



Simplton.







Matt.









Samm.












Curtis.





Simplton looked up from the note, concerned. "Where's Curtis, ya'll?"


Matt shook his head. "I... I don't know..."


Samm grabbed a paddle. "Let's get the fuck out of here! Curtis can meet us there! This fog is seriously creeping me out and really fucking up my hair! Let's go!"


Simplton grabbed the other paddle, and they took off into the fog.....


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Post #15: 26th Feb 2014 2:04 AM 
CURTIS???? ARE YOU OKAY????!!!!!!!!!!
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