Since buttfuck Heather decided to drop out, Im forcefully taking over for her. (Oh no! That means we dont have time to kiss mikes sexy ass!) Well dont worry about it, time to earn yourselves possibly some votes.
Everyone has asked just about any questions I could about your games, so ya know what? Im gunna just let you guys compete and show the jurors who wants the win the most.
Im going to give ya a couple of tasks, feel free to do as many as you want. You might figure its best to just go all out on one task, or you could try to moderately answer a couple idgaf.
ANYWAYS ONTO THE TASKS!!!
Insult every single juror (including heather) Channel your inner zmanda for this one
Watch this video and explain it to me. Feel free to come up with a backstory, a hidden meaning, whatever you want.
Write a sequel to the best selling " The story of little black sambo" If you somehow havent read it before, here it is
Julie
Y0 @Ll mahz jeyws, specks, niGGahz, freaks and desastuhs, Little Black Sambo done got hisself to the eyenNND!
G@Thar rund cheldre!n as I tellz Yaz the $T0Ryy of my mastuh plan.
Miy storah $T@rT$$ 0n @ Nigmal Day in dey layund of Dixieeeeee….
Little Black Sambo was guhyd 2 Massuh, but Massuh dun ctch meh st33l!nGG bananas one hot summer dey in da hot of $umm3r, h3 d&n g!v3 m33 40 lasheez, Sambo back huryt!
Sambo dint no h3 wuz dng nutting wrong. Massuh always say Sambo a byg ol filthy nigger, so Sambo just eat banana like the monkeys do since Massuh always tell him he monkey!
Eye m3ss the Congo, where Little Sambo culd run fr33 with the monkeys all day and night! Now Sambo no get bananas.
Massuh whip Sambo, Massuh make Sambo pick mor3 than 3 other men cotton. Sambo sad. Sambo just want banana. Massuh whip me for tryna learn to read. Massuh was a nigguh breakuh.
Sambo no like white man. Sambo hate edu-ma-cated white man. But Sambo play Survivor genst educated white folk. Sambo hate them. Sambo want bananas!
But, Sambo GOOD at Scrabble. Sambo know lots of white-man words…
Yeah, so the game started to turn around for me when I decided to stop being a brainless coon and play Scrabble and show them my mad Scrabble skills. Somehow I’m a master at Scrabble even though I can’t form a coherent sentence. Don’t ask me how that’s the case, man, all of those lashings on the plantation in the 1860’s must have really fucked up my brain. Somehow I can only form coherent thoughts when I’m thinking bout Scrabble, so I guess I’ll explain my game.
Well, I hate white people, and there were crackers every-fucking where. They’re so fucking entitled, man, they think they run the world when us Congolese folk should be running it! It’s bullshit, man. So after I beasted Scrabble and basically won my tribe the challenge, I magically reverted to my old worthless dumb coon self and kept being an annoyance to everyone.
But, in spite of that, you idiots dragged me here! So you should vote me Little Black sambo because clearly I am an MIT Graduate and I simply bamboozled all you white motherfucking crackers. POWER TO THE BLACK MAN! NIGGER POWER ACTIVATE!
(Artis snaps out of trance)
Y3333ah mannn vote for me wooo I so black woo! Niggas niggas niggas and more NIGGAS! I smartest black nigga to ever sail the s3v3n sees. Vo$e me to w!~n Ayyeee yeahhhhh
Massuh gon b s0 pr0ud a Lil Sambo! Sambo gon win Mi$$ion dollahz fo massuh! He gon buy new niggas with it! I gon buy mah freedom! I will be free!
Oh lawdy Sambo need the dough fo da cotton pickin
Please vote fo me!
Eye’ll even sing for yahz! Vote Black Sambo so Massuh no whip him!
Oh, I wish I was in the land of cotton,
Old times there are not forgotten.
Look away, look away, look away Dixie Land!
In Dixie's Land, where I was born in,
early on one frosty mornin'.
Look away, look away, look away Dixie Land!
I wish I was in Dixie, Hooray! Hooray!
In Dixie's Land I'll take my stand,
to live and die in Dixie.
Away, away, away down south in Dixie!
Away, away, away down south in Dixie!
There's buckwheat cakes and Injun batter,
Makes you fat or a little fatter.
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land
Then hoe it down and scratch your gravel,
To Dixie's Land I'm bound to travel.
Look away! Look away! Look away! Dixie Land
I wish I was in Dixie, Hooray! Hooray!
In Dixie's Land I'll take my stand,
to live and die in Dixie.
Away, away, away down south in Dixie!
Away, away, away down south in Dixie!
This one is individual tasks
Erik: Apologize to Fabio and beg for his forgiveness
Jerri: Apologize to Mike and beg for his forgiveness
Kmanda: Apologize to Kim and beg for her forgiveness
No BS on this task.
List your top 5 races in order from most favorite, to least favorite
The Three of you are fighting for the Iron throne, who wins and how does it come to pass?
Dolly somehow makes it to ftc, write her opening speech. Use boo/boolyn at least 35 times.
Post Edited by Mike Dutz @ 29th Aug 2015 12:19:24 AM
Most of these seem fair, but why should I apologize to Fabio? Jerri at least has a reason to apologize to Mike, and Kmanda definitely has a reason to apologize to Kim, but Fabio was totally cool with being idoled out, and I talked with him after the vote, and he was super cool about it with no hard feelings. Like, out of all the people I have to apologize to, like Zmanda who I voted for once and would have twice while she carried me through quite a few votes, or Eric, who I turned my back on when it was convienent, or even Michelle, for not giving her as much credit in my opening statement? It doesn't seem right to me that I should apologize to someone that was totally cook with leaving by an idol.
Most of these seem fair, but why should I apologize to Fabio? Jerri at least has a reason to apologize to Mike, and Kmanda definitely has a reason to apologize to Kim, but Fabio was totally cool with being idoled out, and I talked with him after the vote, and he was super cool about it with no hard feelings. Like, out of all the people I have to apologize to, like Zmanda who I voted for once and would have twice while she carried me through quite a few votes, or Eric, who I turned my back on when it was convienent, or even Michelle, for not giving her as much credit in my opening statement? It doesn't seem right to me that I should apologize to someone that was totally cook with leaving by an idol.
1.) Daytona 500. Simply an iconic track and staple of an entire sport.
2.) Bowser's Castle. Easily my favorite track in any Mario Kart game. They're challenging, they have atmosphere, and they always have the best music.
3.) Rainbow Road. It's another trademark of every Mario Kart game. Although it did take a boring dip in quality in Mario Kart 64, it was still fun and they've only gotten better since.
4.) Black people. Have you seen the subreddit for Black People Twitter? It's easily one of the funniest subreddits around.
5.) Top Gear Test Track in the UK. It's an iconic television show of BBC's past and that show actually got me interested in cars. Well, mainly the host's chemistry. But the track is still iconic. Having never been on it, I can tell you how to excel on that track, every turn, every corner to take fast, the turns to watch out for, etc. And that makes it one of my favorite races.
1.) Daytona 500. Simply an iconic track and staple of an entire sport.
2.) Bowser's Castle. Easily my favorite track in any Mario Kart game. They're challenging, they have atmosphere, and they always have the best music.
3.) Rainbow Road. It's another trademark of every Mario Kart game. Although it did take a boring dip in quality in Mario Kart 64, it was still fun and they've only gotten better since.
4.) Black people. Have you seen the subreddit for Black People Twitter? It's easily one of the funniest subreddits around.
5.) Top Gear Test Track in the UK. It's an iconic television show of BBC's past and that show actually got me interested in cars. Well, mainly the host's chemistry. But the track is still iconic. Having never been on it, I can tell you how to excel on that track, every turn, every corner to take fast, the turns to watch out for, etc. And that makes it one of my favorite tracks.
Based on the low view count, I'm going to assume that Mike has made it. He made some random video and now he wants to try to collect ad revenue on it. He wants us to watch it multiple times so that he can collect even more ad revenue. The only reason the video exists is for Mike to gain money. That's fucking it. Case closed.
Based on the low view count, I'm going to assume that Mike has made it. He made some random video and now he wants to try to collect ad revenue on it. He wants us to watch it multiple times so that he can collect even more ad revenue. The only reason the video exists is for Mike to gain money. That's fucking it. Case closed.
Its true, I have heard many times from Heather that Mike has been trying to get people to subscribe to channel and launch his make up tutorials, with no avail.
Nobody takes a straight, male, narcissistic makeup artist seriously.