Okay this is actually great. I was gonna write a confessional at the beginning of this round going over how I’ve lost a lot of motivation, and how I didn’t click with anyone sans Ron, but this works out really, really well. I’m fucking overjoyed that there’s been a swap, and I love my tribe. I feel like I’m with a lot of the most fun people in the cast, and it’s given me a second wind and a reason to work hard on socializing again. My confessional effort this season have honestly been really weak,, but that’s definitely going to change now that the dynamics have shifted.

We won the challenge without me doing anything, which is the perfect way to win a challenge. I wasn’t around at all and we still walked away with that W. Excellent. Now, I’m bummed I didn’t get any real time to talk to people sans my break, so I had this 25 minute window to try and get in some face to face time with my entire tribe. That ended up being me just talking to Ron, Mira, Snape, and Newt.

Ron sent me gifs of the Little Women of LA, because it’s our show. By our show, I mean he sends me updates and I overreact to literally all of it. I’m very, very happy to still be with Ron. He’s my son and I love him deeply, in a completely platonic way. Perverts.

Snape was honestly my second favorite to talk to before tribes, but for different reasons than most. He’s just so much fun to fuck with, and I’m sure he’s self-aware about it. He and I ended up talking game of all things almost right off the bat. I explained the Rita boot, he guessed the petrification twist (each person passes it to the next), and then I gave him my one idol guess. He apparently thinks that he can get it with that information, and told me not to tell anyone he’s close. I probably won’t. Pomfrey is the only one I’d spill the beans to, and she’s far away right now. I genuinely think Snape and I are going to work together, at least for now, and hopefully into the future. He’s been a great sport and tolerated my bullshit, which is the sign of a good enough person. Watch it be fucking Nav or something lol

Mira literally just hit on me with fish related lines. I’m on my phone, so I’ll have to post some highlights tomorrow. She’s definitely a dangerous player, but I think she likes me? She’s so weird that I honestly can’t tell, but I’m probably the same to most other people.

Newt and I just haven’t found anything we really click on, so I just shitpost in all of our conversations and he seems to be fine with it. Earlier today I talked about my crippling addiction to tentacle porn and how I ended becoming homeless and dying because of it, and he seemed to roll with it. I had fun, so either way, it was worth it.

Amos and I did get along well before tribes, so here’s hoping that relationship can continue. I liked messing with him too, and in a perfect world, he’ll continue kissing my feet like a good little apprentice.

Draco is once again my least favorite member, but it’s not because I dislike him - I just like everyone else on the tribe way more. Like, this tribe has my favorite people in the game sans Pomfrey, and if I could trade Draco for her, then I’m in heaven. This is such a great tribe for me personally that I actually don’t want to lose at all, because I don’t want to vote any of these beautiful sexy human beings out. Maybe my strong affectionate feelings will change, but for now, I’m on cloud nine.

Also fuck Polly that cunt ignored my attempts to sext

Snape and I did some idol guessing last night, and he’s moved up to be my number one on this tribe. He and I both have give no fucks attitudes towards the game, and are here to have fun and fuck shit up. The only big difference is his focus is on killing standard contenders - anyone who should have any place winning the season, shouldn’t. That includes people like Mira, Newt, Fred, and Pomfrey, all of whom I could see winning at the end, or at the very least going home due to being a huge threat to win at the end. Now, I don’t care about killing contenders - my goal is to have fun and kill the peope I dislike/find boring. Sure, I love chaos, and I’ll gladly stir things up when I’m getting bored, but I won’t vote out people I like just because they’re threats. That’s dumb. Well, it’s not, it’s smart, but my gameplay is very different from the standard.

I’ve actually learned some of the tribe and social dynamics going on for the first time all game, and it doesn’t look too pretty. Mira and Amos are close, according to Snape, and my gut says that those two and Newt get along. That’s a solid threesome right there, and their options are use Draco or Snape to take out Ron or I, or just get a unanimous vote onto Draco (Amos’ plan apparently). With that group of three possibly being together, even if it isn’t concrete, one of them has to go. Draco and Newt are my least favorite people on the tribe, so losing either is fine, but I’m tired of Newt and he’s probably working with a duo that has an idol and is most likely funnier than I am. That cannot stand.

Meanwhile, Mira has been putting a lot into our conversations, moreso than she did before tribes. It either means she just likes me, or she needs a majority and she thinks I’m the best bet. I like that I’m a hot commodity now, especially after being bored to tears with the previous group. Amos has been a flop when talking to me, and I’ve been a flop when talking to Newt, but Snape and Mira have been consistent conversationalists, and both are charming in their own ways. Working with Mira would be a fun OTT alliance of big characters killing the minority and small fries, while working with Snape would be creating the Evil League of Evil and smiting anyone who so much as looks at us funny. Take a guess which one is more my speed.

Ron’s been having a rough go of sorts. It was a classic ORG mini-meltdown - the “I’m irrelevant/not actually playing/being strung along” issue. It’s been some time since I last had an ally who had this issue, because it’s frustrating to hold someone’s hand and deal with them. Now, I understand Ron’s feelings, and I think there’s validity. His closest ally left him in the dark, and he hasn’t connected with anyone since his original tribe. It’s not a pleasant situation to be in at all, and I feel for him. If you don’t feel like you’re a player or relevant to the season or have no power, do it. Grab the game by the balls and take over. Be willing to be aggressive or open yourself up and make the change.

It definitely helped us get closer, and we both feel like we’re on the bottom. Newt makes no effort to talk to either of us, and neither of us really like him. Draco’s been online for 2 seconds since immunity, Mira dropped all convos, and Amos is the only one really engaging with me. The thing that’s frustrating Ron is they just want to swap pleasantries and get some info; they don’t care about really hashing out game with him. They’re in a cozy majority position (in theory), and are staying as tight-lipped as possible, hoping someonespills the tea and throws the other under the bus. That isn’t happening. I’m keeping my mouth shut, and Ron told me he’s saying he was hurt by the blindside but still likes me. I think he’s being honest, given how much he’s disclosing to me.

You know how I said to grab the game by the balls? Well, I’ll put my money where my mouth is. If we lose this challenge (or even win if I get that bored), I’m going to publicly post and say that Mira/Newt/Amos have an alliance and planned on using the side people to vote out Draco. Now, this will do a few things.

1. It will add much-needed flair to back to the game. I’m bored. I’m tired. These people don’t excite me anymore. I need to do something to excite myself, and publicly outing an alliance which might not even be real is a great way to go.

2. It puts the target on both me, and those three and anyone else associated with them on the other tribe. Even if it isn’t a real alliance, they’ll forever be associated together and actually will vote together, turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. They’ll have giant Xs on their back until they all go home. As for me, I thrive when I’m the underdog. I need to be backed into a corner to enjoy myself the fullest, so why not piss off three power players on my tribe, one of whom has an idol? It’s a very Don thing to do, and I’ll love it.

3. This move should get Draco on our side. Yes, I’m over the top and revealed info to the whole cast, but at least I didn’t throw his name out there. I didn’t try to send him home. Who would you trust more? A wild card with your best interests seemingly at heart, or a calculated player who had you in their sights? This isn’t about getting a long-term ally, this is just about surviving to the next round. If he turns on me at merge, that’s fine, so be it. I just need him until we get there.

4. This hopefully will take some of the heat off of Snape and Ron. They’ll essentially be forced into voting for the other three, but I’ll be seen as the ringleader of the rebellion. They had no other choice, and when they hit merge, even if I die, they’ll be set up to do well. This isn’t just a short-term play to liven the game up - it’s also a long-term play to help the people I like.

I plan on only doing this if we lose, BUT if we win and I’m bored, I’ll do it then too. Fuck it. Why not? This is supposed to be fun, and if I have to stir the pot on my own to make it fun again, I’ll certainly be willing to die on that cross.

Gilderoy Lockhart

Also fuck Polly that cunt ignored my attempts to sext

Oh wow, you really went there with the language.

You are such a legend, watching you play is one of the best rides I've had in a while!