At this hour...

I started the F3 endurance challenge, waking up at 6 a.m. to begin my day chock full of posts. I check in with Miller and see that he is still going strong through 10 hours--QUACK! But then we both check on Kate's post count and realize it hasn't changed in a while...so now we are under the impression that she more than likely messed up.

The Quack Pact will shortly discuss plans to see if I should just drop from the challenge and allow Miller to take the win. Sorry Avril.

QP in the final 2?????!!!!!

Challenge 21 Update, At This Hour:

So I'm nearing my 7th completed hour of hanging on. I think I'm gonna shoot for somewhere around 9 hours--then I can humbly step down and allow Miller to take the final immunity. (And presumably I will take the silver.)

I see no reason to go any longer than I must. Alternatively, I will seize the day!

Miller just told me he had an alliance with Kate since day one and that he's voting me out. Words can't even explain the feeling right now.

It hurts. It really hurts.

Not only that...but I was only an hour away from winning final immunity, which I could have easily done...

disliking bcz :(

I was hoping to follow up the previous post with an extended video confessional, but as a result of guests sleeping in the room next to mine I'm forced to rely on what I often refer to as "the most timeless medium for communication," written word.

Well. My heart weeps tonight. There's still a tiny tiny tiny part of me that wants to believe that this is all one last ruse from my season-long alliance mate. Alas, it seems not.

I'm not angry. I'm not bitter or upset. I'm just deeply hurt. I came into this game wanting to create a fun and jovial atmosphere, to meet people I wouldn't meet otherwise, and to my best ability, play a game based on a show that has been a beacon of light in my life--especially over the course of the past four years. Though I love Survivor, I've shied away from ORGs. Why? I truly am a 52 year old soul graced with a 22 year old's body. I generally hate what cell phones have done to people, I want to live in the middle-of-nowhere so that I can write and sit in a rocking-chair that I built with my own two-hands, and I like accomplishing mundane errands or tasks. By-in-large I'm an outdoor cat. So doing 24 hour posting challenges and endurance challenges in front of the computer feels incredibly mind-numbing and unrewarding for me (sorry passionate ORG folk).

Further, staying up into the wee hours isn't a part of my normal old man routine. I like going to bed early and waking up as the sun rises (and in a few days I can do that again). So to that end, it was totally out of character for me to put in the time and effort to consistently stay up until 3 or 4 on Skype calls with people. At the beginning it felt like a necessity in order to extend my life in this game, but at a certain point it turned into simply wanting to spend time with my closest "friends" in the game.

Game aside I have no idea where I stand with either Kate or Miller. It's possible that they logged hour upon hour with me on call as a deliberate game tactic. It's possible that they've been working me for 2 months now. It's possible that they care about winning a game so bad that they were willing to use me. I could be totally wrong though, and they could sincerely care deeply about me. I suppose I'll learn more. From my end I know that I cared about these folks more than any other in this game and I just wanted to spend time with them, shooting the breeze and doing sporcle quizzes.

But what really makes me wonder if it was all a part of the game and that the relationships weren't as a genuine as I believed comes down to this final immunity challenge. Miller knew that I would have taken him to the final 2, and still he made me believe that he hadn't screwed up at 9 hours and 50 minutes. He wanted SO BAD to go to the final 2 with Kate rather than me that he fake continued to do the challenge for another 9+ hours, which during most of that time he sat on call with me and for 9 hours he unnecessarily kept up this lie. Literally continued to have his alarms go off for 9 more hours. THAT'S BONKERS. ABSOLUTELY BONKERS. And that stings. That's an 11/10 on the cut-throat richter scale.

Of course I wish I would have just went 1 MORE HOUR, because I could have. But there was no reason for me to believe that Miller would do something like this...To put so much time into something like this and come up an hour short under these circumstances is nothing short of devastating.

I'm not gonna push for any final moves to be made. That's not me. The only chance is if Miller marinates on his decision long enough to the point where he feels bad about what he's done this whole time, OR actually comes to the realization that Kate is going to win in a landslide in the end. Either way...tis' a game in my books.

I'll try to wrap this up...

Being someone who's non-tech savvy in real life, I've never been good with keeping in touch with friends. It's caused me to drift away from good friends and become someone who thinks they can figure things out on their own. I thought I had made genuine friendships in this game, the sort of people that I would go out of my way to respond to a message for or go on call with when this is all said and done. I just don't know. What I do know is that I came into this game with a brother that I trust more than anyone on the planet and I conclude this experience with a brother that will always have my back.

Peace and love,
Nick

You're amazing, know that

As a rule I don't like confessionals, so I hope you understand that I liked your last post with the utmost deliberation and intent.

You're my favorite DeMott!

marry me.

Joey Kapusta @ 4/9/2016 21:53

marry me.

ok.

Dibs on bridesmaid!

Nick Demott @ 19/8/2016 20:11

Blake Ratcliff @ 19/8/2016 15:56 if i had to pick between blowing you or anthony i'd pick you I'm not not uncomfortable

Nick Demott @ 5/9/2016 0:06

Joey Kapusta @ 4/9/2016 21:53 marry me. ok.

This character arc ...

RJ Sobczak @ 5/9/2016 0:47

Nick Demott @ 19/8/2016 20:11 Blake Ratcliff @ 19/8/2016 15:56 if i had to pick between blowing you or anthony i'd pick you I'm not not uncomfortable Nick Demott @ 5/9/2016 0:06 Joey Kapusta @ 4/9/2016 21:53 marry me. ok. This character arc ...

I need all the love I can get right now, and polygamy isn't necessarily a bad thing.