Hey guys! Super sorry for just getting to this but I've been busy as hell recently which is for sure a reason I'm in this predicament right now. This game has been a blast so far and I've been hit with these twists full force, but that's what makes it fun. This is why I signed up; to have a good time, and so far that's exactly what I'm doing.

In the beginning, because of my busy schedule I was only able to talk to about half the cast, and of course the three captains were some of the people I hadn't gotten to know that well. I was very happy with the Oronar tribe at first, mainly because of the connections I had made with Kathy and Tyler early on. However, I really wasn't able to make any super solid connections. I definitely felt like it was a cohesive group, but I wasn't really feeling the personal connections. My lack of understanding of the tribe dynamics came to light when Christine was named the ruler. The person who I personally thought was incredibly dull and could be an easy boot. Because of my rough start socially, I knew we had to win that challenges so I could find my footing and continue to expand my connections. I went balls to the wall in the challenge to prove myself, and despite being the social outcast I was able to become the hero of the Oronar tribe. Of course, you all decided to throw a WRENCH in my efforts and change it all up.

I wasn't surprised when I was ranked at the bottom of my tribe. When we made those lists, I hadn't been able to talk to half of my tribe, so of course they'd rank me low. I wasn't offended, and frankly I was already excited for a change. Being on Oronar just felt so fabricated, like we had a sense of unity but it was all a façade. The energy change from my previous tribe to Jaruud was insane. I'm gonna miss talking to Tyler, but I instantly connected with my new tribe. Fabio is the broest of the bros, Hali's a sweetheart, and John and Woo are incredibly chill. The weak link socially is Laura, who never responded to me when I messaged her. And that just may be my key to surviving on this tribe.

I have more to say but I'm exhausted so I'll update more tomorrow!

Last round I was able to integrate well within the tribe, solidifying myself a space above Laura. Not much, bet it's another rung of the ladder and another round to work towards safety. Unfortunately, it's a slippery slope from here. The higher I try to climb the social ladder, the harder I end up falling, and even when I turn on my 110% Matty charm, I don't think I'll ever be able to really get to the top of this tribe. I knew desperately that we needed to win immunity or else I would likely get the boot this round.

Of course, we ended up losing the challenge. I thought we had it. I was CONFIDENT we had it, but the change in the rules really got us and we ended up losing it at the end. Obviously, not an ideal situation for me, especially because I didn't end up finding ANYTHING either attempt at exile and the tribe in general has opted to just ignore me, which really makes it impossible to plead my case. I'm not gonna give up, though. It's evident to me that these four have had an alliance since before I arrived, and if there's absolutely anything I can do to find the cracks I have to. Above all, I have to work on Hali, because if she's not on board I'm screwed regardless because of her double vote. If I can somehow convince Hali and Fabio to vote out someone like John, that's all I need to get one more step to a tribe swap and reassess my situation. In Survivor, it's adapt or die, and I strongly feel like there's a way out of anything. If I have to bluff an idol, I'll do it. I'm not going to roll over and die here. I've been on the bottom since the beginning but I'm still here, and if I keep trying then maybe I can make something happen. If not, I've had a blast playing!

update: they were not ignoring me, my AIM didn't send me any messages for the past hour and apparently wants me out of the game.

So, miraculously, I was able to convince the Jaruud tribe to keep me around over Woo. I knew I had Fabio's vote, and in my mind Hali was the one who I REALLY needed to convince. So I just said "fuck bullshit", laid out the facts and where I stood and I used honesty to support my case and in the end it worked. I think in the long run it really made the four of us a lot tighter, and I know that I want to work with them again down the line to repay them for letting me get this far.

I knew the tribe swap would be at 14 because tribe swaps are ALWAYS at 14, but I really never expected how great of a position this swap would put me in. I'm with my main man Fabio, and we're put in a swing vote position with original Oronar undoubtedly expecting me to vote with them. Chase and I bonded pre-game and he almost immediately suggest myself and Fabio teaming up with him and Matt, who I also clicked with right away. However, it gets complicated when the original Oronar have two of the only people I liked from my original tribe, Tyler and Kathy. I promised Kathy day 1 I'd have her back, because we were the two last picked for the tribe. Tyler's great to talk to as well, but he's a huge social and strategic threat in this game and I don't know how much I could trust him. Brett is someone I never clicked with, and his whole liking the Chonos' posts when they beat us in the challenge really irritated me. Like dude, you couldn't have known I would be safe in that situation, and that combined with the fact that I genuinely believed I was going home really made me pissed off. In my mind, Brett's actions showed that I'm not welcome back with old Oronar, so why the hell should I vote with them now?

This challenge is a mess. It legitimately is a luck challenge. That's all it is. We have NO way of anticipating our opponents moves. There are billions of variations with these lists probably, and sitting here talking about every single scenario does nothing but waste time. I don't have the heart to tell my tribe I already submitted, but literally all I did was put some actions into random.org and posted the list! That's all this challenge has to be, not these crazy algorithms and statistics and everything. It's just mind boggling to me. Chase is enjoying himself which is great, but I don't see the point in doing this. Love him to death, but Chase is really starting to feel a bit too white collar for my tastes. This tribe makes me miss Jaruud even more.

So, we won. I would have actually preferred to lose I think because I have NO idea what's gonna happen over there and I'd be devastated if Hali is sent home, whereas here I know for a fact Fabio and I are safe and we basically have the power to vote out any single person we want. After results I left to go watch Game of Thrones, and when I came back I saw that Chase had quickly posted to send Misty to Exile without asking the rest of the tribe. Are you an idiot? Honestly? I know he's only seen one season of survivor but you have to use some common sense here. Sternberg proposed a theory of three intelligences; componential, experiential, and practical. Chase definitely falls under componential, or "book smarts". He's incredible analytical and he's very very smart when it comes to that stuff. But for practical knowledge? He's lacking severely, and unfortunately that's the kind've intelligence that you need to win survivor. The ability to adapt to your circumstances and see the bigger picture. Right now I have a solid thing with Chase, Matt, and Fabio, but spending one round on the same tribe as Chase is already driving me bonkers. He's either going to blow up my game or present himself as the perfect goat and I guess I'll have to find out what he becomes and make my decisions based on that.